How to Attract a Bad Boy (And Make It Last)

PDF download Download Article
Get his attention and win his heart with our expert-approved guide
PDF download Download Article

Bad boys are typically known for their nonchalance, edgy good looks, and irresistible charm. They might even own a guitar, a motorcycle, or both, adding to their sex appeal. If you have your heart set on a bad boy, you're probably wondering what you can do to lure him into your love trap. To help you out, we've compiled all of the best, proven strategies for winning a bad boy's heart, from how to get him to notice you to how to keep him hooked . Plus, we have valuable insights from love and relationship coach Nicole Moore and licensed relationship therapist Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT. Keep scrolling to learn more!

Making a Bad Boy Yours: Key Points

  1. Get his attention by playing hard to get.
  2. Tease him a bit by meeting his gaze and breaking it after a few seconds.
  3. Lead with confidence and be yourself, even if you’re not also “bad.”
  4. Take the lead in the relationship as often as he does to show your independence.
  5. Let him be himself and focus on having fun together.
  6. Wait to put a label on your relationship to avoid rushing things.
Section 1 of 5:

How to Catch His Eye

PDF download Download Article
  1. If you want to get a bad boy's attention, then you have to show him just a tiny bit of interest— but not too much. Just look at him for two seconds and then turn away. Try looking down and looking up through your lashes for an extra sexy effect. Stare at him long enough to make an impression, but not for so long that you look like you really care whether or not he likes you… nonchalance is key! [1]
    • Once he notices you, turn away. That should give him enough incentive to pursue you. Of course, you can also take the initiative and pursue him first.
    • If you are in a group and he is there, do not engage too much in the conversation. Instead, stand there with a mysterious smile and let him wonder what is in your mind.
  2. Bad boys don't go for those who blend in with the crowd. They go for those who don't quite fit in, who are worth a second look, and who don't try to look, act, or dress like everyone else. If you have a funky fashion sense, stick to it. If you have an unusual laugh, don't hide it. If you love sketching, playing the harmonica, or practicing karate, let him see what you love to do and don't be ashamed of it. [2]
    • Bad boys want people who know what they're about. If you look like everyone else and have nothing special going for you, then he won't be impressed. If you stand out, even if it means you're not like most people, he'll be even more into you.
    Advertisement
  3. A lot of people are intimidated by bad boys because they think they're too cool to give them a second glance. If you want to attract one of them, the best thing you can do is to show them that you're not afraid of them at all. Think of it like coming face-to-face with a bear or a lion; the second you show fear, you'll be destroyed. If he comes up to you, don't back away and stand even taller instead. If he tries to interrupt you, then let him know you're not finished speaking and say what you have to say. [3]
    • Bad boys are used to those who bend at their will. If you stand up to him and let him see you as an equal, then he may be impressed by you.
    • Moore shares how important confidence is when pursuing a bad boy. She says, “Confidence is the number one thing that people find sexy in another person. When you value who you are, you become instantly more irresistible to others.” [4]
    • Moore suggests that you write down a list of 30 reasons why you’re a catch. She adds, “Don't censor yourself, just write. If you have a hard time coming up with reasons, ask your close friends why they think you’re a catch. The more you focus on what’s great about you and what you have to offer, the more confident you will feel.” [5]
  4. Bad boys don't like those who do what everyone else is doing. Just because all of your friends are taking Art History, take the History of Motorcycles, if that's what you're into. If all of your friends love Taylor Swift, have pride in your love for The Stones or more indie bands like Bottomless Pit. If the crowd is lining up to see the latest Will Ferrell movie, go for the indie flick you've been meaning to catch instead. [6]
    • Though you shouldn't be quirky or different just for the sake of being different, if there's something different that you would genuinely like to do, then you should go for it.
    • Moore encourages you to consider a unique hobby that also requires that you use your body: “Whether that’s working out, dance class, or taking a hike, when you’re present in your body, your sex appeal is naturally greater.” [7]
  5. According to Moore, these types of boys tend to like girls who pose a challenge: “Don’t be like all of the other girls who fawn all over him. Stand in your worth and know what you are bringing to the table.” In essence, don’t become too predictable for him and try to be his breath of fresh air. Moore suggests you always try to leave a lasting impression. For example, tell him that you saw him in a dream you had and then leave him wondering what happened in the dream. Cheeky! [8]
    • Make sure that your efforts are coming off as playful and quirky, not rude and disinterested. Find a balance between looking interested and making him work for it a bit.
  6. Bad boys love it when people play hard to get. If they feel like they can have you any time they want you, then they won't want to work for it. Instead, let him know you like him by flirting a bit or giving him a compliment or two, but don't put it all on the line. Let him reveal his feelings well before you do, and don't accept every invitation he gives you; make sure he asks you out at least a week in advance so he doesn't think your schedule is wide open and knows he has to work for your time and attention. [9]
    • If he calls you, don't answer the phone on the first ring. In fact, give it an hour or two and call him back. If he texts you, wait at least half an hour to respond. You don't want him to feel like you're just sitting around waiting to hear from him.
    • Jeney offers a warning when playing hard to get. She says, “Just make sure that you're not consistently making yourself unavailable to the point where you're never following up with an alternative… I think if you're just being consistently closed off, that could probably push somebody the wrong way.” [10]
    • Jeney explains that if they're asking you out, and you can say “No, I'm sorry, I can't— but I can do [x] instead.” [11]
  7. Bad boys hate those who cling to their friends and care too much about what they think. If you want to start a relationship with a bad boy, then you shouldn't let your friends hang around too much until you get to know each other better. You should also avoid saying, “My friend thinks that…” when you talk about your relationship, or you'll make him feel that your friends are way too involved in your personal life. When it comes down to it, bad boys really want people who think for themselves.
    • You should also avoid having your friends talk to the bad boy for you. If you really want to win him over, then you have to do the work yourself.
    8. Advertisement
Section 2 of 5:

How to Keep a Bad Boy Hooked

PDF download Download Article
  1. True bad boys don't want people who they can boss around. They want people who are confident in themselves whom they can regard as equals. If you want to keep your bad boy hooked, show him how happy you are with how you look, who you are, and what you do. Work on projecting a positive energy that shows that you're content with being yourself and don't need anybody for validation.
    • Focus on the positive and talk about the things that make you happy instead of complaining about things that aren't perfect.
    • Don't gossip about others, as this is often fueled by insecurity. [12] Instead, praise them and the bad boy will be impressed.
    • Avoid seeking validation from him. [13]
  2. To keep your bad boy interested, you should take charge of the relationship. Don't let him make all the calls, tell you where and when you'll be going on your date, or be the one who calls first all the time. Show him that you know what you want and that you won't go on a date last-minute because you've made other plans; don't let him take you to a bike show if you'd rather be out to dinner, and don't make him think that he has total control over you or he'll lose interest pretty fast. [14]
    • You don't have to take charge of every situation, or that may get tiring. Just try to take charge at least as much as he does.
  3. Bad boys tend to have thicker skin and may seek that quality in a partner, too. You can show him your softer side as you get to know each other, but it's good to work on keeping that skin nice and thick so the bad boy knows he can roll with you. Joke with him, tease him, exchange witty banter, and show him how secure and comfortable you feel around him—he’ll love that you’re meeting him in the middle. [15]
    • Learn to roll with the punches and try not to get upset unless he gives you a legitimate reason.
    • Being a “bad boy” doesn’t mean he really has to be a bad boy, so use your judgment and discretion when figuring out if he’s the one for you.
    • If the bad boy in question really is bad , as in thoughtless, verbally or emotionally abusive, or mistreating you in some way, then you should remove yourself from the situation ASAP.
  4. Real bad boys want someone who gives them a run for their money and keeps things exciting. You should show him that you're skilled, savvy, and independent. While no relationship is great if you're constantly questioning your partner, if you keep him on his toes, he'll be even more interested in you. Expressing to him that you want your relationship to be dynamic and interesting is likely to be music to his ears. [16]
    • If he takes you to the pool hall, don’t hold back and try to beat him at his own game. Make it extra fun by making a friendly bet.
    • Take him out on a date of your choosing in an area where you thrive, like sports, crafts, or karaoke. He’ll be very impressed while getting to learn more about you.
  5. You may think that all bad boys only want bad people, but in fact, a lot of them like those who are more innocent-seeming, or who just like to do their own thing. If you'd already call yourself a bad person, then keep doing what you're doing, but don't feel compelled to wear black leather or dark makeup, to smoke cigarettes, or to curse a lot if that's not really who you are. Bad boys are much more attracted to those who are true to who they are than those who try to be someone they're not.
    • Most bad boys are just as attracted to good people as they are to bad people, so you shouldn't worry too much about changing your image. In fact, sometimes bad boys and bad girls can be too much alike to be compatible.
    • Bad boys have low tolerance for fakeness, and if you try to be someone other than who you are, then they'll be able to tell.
  6. If you're really cool and hip, then the bad boy will know it without you having to say so. Avoid talking about how much your bike costs, how you're best friends with the lead drummer of your favorite death metal band, or how you're the best tattoo artist in East Oakland. Instead, let him figure out how awesome you are for himself. If you brag too much, that'll be a sign that you're just trying too hard to prove yourself. [17]
    • A true bad boy doesn't brag or show off, either. He doesn't like people who feel the need to talk themselves up too much.
    7. Advertisement
Section 3 of 5:

How to Make a Relationship with a Bad Boy Last

PDF download Download Article
  1. Most people who date bad boys are convinced that they can change them. Though there are some exceptions to this rule, most of these people end up disappointed when their favorite bad boy won't change his ways. If you want to really enjoy your relationship with your bad boy, then you shouldn't try to domesticate him and make him do things he doesn't want to do; instead, you should appreciate him for who he is instead of making him take yoga or spend an afternoon with your Aunt Mildred if that's not what he's into.
  2. If you're dating a bad boy, then you're probably not looking to marry him. Though some bad boys can change, try to work on being present in the moment and enjoying your time together. Instead of worrying about what lies ahead, try to think of your relationship growing from week to week, instead of thinking about what you'll be doing in a year. If you want the relationship to last, then the best thing you can do is to focus on fun. [18]
    • If you’re constantly worrying about where the relationship is going, have a talk with thim about it. Remember: bad boys value honesty and might see it as refreshing. Plus, having talks about the future is essential in any healthy relationship—even with a badboy.
  3. If you want to enjoy your time with the bad boy, then you can't let him dictate every little thing you should do together. Though you may think he wants to be completely in control, you should give him a run for his money and show that you have ideas for where you should eat and where you should go over the weekend. Make sure you're both equally in control and don't let him tell you how to act, dress, or look; he'll like you much more if you stand up for yourself and prove yourself to be independent. [19]
    • Most bad boys, if they're the harmless kind, like someone with their own initiate and don't actually want to be in control all the time.
  4. If you want your relationship with the bad boy to last, then you can't put pressure on him to move in with you, meet all of your friends and family members, or marry you any time soon. Bad boys like to run free and to do their own thing, and as soon as you put the pressure on, he'll start to back off. Though it's natural to want the relationship to move forward, you should know that you're dealing with a bad boy and that he may be allergic to commitment.
    • Let him move at his own pace. If he wants to meet your friends or family members, then he'll ask to do it. You can casually mention meeting up with them to see if he wants to come, but you should avoid telling him that your friends or family members are dying to meet him, or he'll feel suffocated.
    • Don't compare the progression of your relationship to the progression of other relationships, either. Just because your best friend and your neighbor both got engaged this month doesn't mean that you two should do the same.
  5. If you want to make it work with the bad boy, then you can't keep tabs on him 24/7 to make sure he's been loyal to you. You've got to trust him to do his own thing because he has an independent spirit. If you text him every half hour, pop in on him unannounced, or just act insecure when he talks to other women, then he may strt to yearn for more space. [20]
    • Of course, if he's really flirtatious with others, then that's something you should have a talk about. If he's just having harmless interactions with others and you're on his case, then his alarm bells will go off. [21]
  6. There's a difference between being a bad boy and being abusive. If the guy you're with is abusive to you, verbally or physically, then it's time to remove yourself from the situation ASAP. No guy is worth the pain and suffering you'll have to face from abuse, even if he keeps promising that every time is the last and that he'll change his ways. Bad boys can be fun to date as long as they don't pose any harm to your well-being. [22]
    • If you're being abused, talk to a close friend or family member and create a plan for leaving the situation as quickly and as safely as possible.
    • You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline to speak to someone about your situation confidentially.
    • If the abusive situation escalates, call the police in an emergency.
    7. Advertisement
Section 4 of 5:

Why do girls like bad boys?

PDF download Download Article
  1. Girls like bad boys because they're confident, masculine, and exciting. There are a few different reasons why girls tend to go for the “bad boy” types. For one, bad boys are often perceived as confident and assertive, which women find attractive, as those are also qualities of a leader and protector. The possibility of excitement and adventure is enticing as well, as bad boys are more likely to be spontaneous and take risks, adding spice to a lady’s life. [23]
    • Additionally, bad boys can sometimes be seen as diamonds in the rough, becoming “projects” for women to work on.
    • However, girls with this mindset may ultimately be trying in vain, because most bad boys don’t change—and that’s part of their charm.
Section 5 of 5:

Final Thoughts

PDF download Download Article
  1. Essentially, a bad boy likes someone who’s unafraid to be themselves. Lead with confidence and stay true to who you are while you flirt and get to know your bad boy, whoever he may be. Just remember that a “bad boy” is not synonymous with an abusive partner, and you should leave an unsafe relationship as soon as possible. It’s also important to remember that the term “bad boy” is not a one-size-fits-all label. Someone may be considered a “bad boy” based on their aesthetic and style, taste in music and film, or a certain X factor you can’t put your finger on.
    • If your bad boy is one of the good ones, lead with confidence, play (a little) hard to get, and enjoy the ride! The bad boy may not be your future husband, but that’s even more of a reason for you to stay present and have fun together.
    • If it doesn't work out with a bad boy, don't underestimate the nice guys. Though you may currently have your eyes set on a bad boy, in the end, there is a wealth of nice guys available, too. You could be pleasantly surprised.
    2. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    How can you boost your confidence?
    Nicole Moore
    Love & Relationship Coach
    Nicole Moore is a Love and Relationship Coach and the Founder and CEO of Love Works Method, a private coaching and digital course service for women looking to find the right partner. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in body language and helping others take control of their dating life, attract a partner, and build a strong relationship. Nicole has been featured in numerous publications such as Cosmopolitan, Forbes, and USA Today. She also hosts Love Works with Nicole Moore, a podcast for modern women wanting love, dating, and relationship advice. Nicole holds a BA in Public Relations and Spanish from Syracuse University and a Certificate in Personal Coaching from New York University.
    Nicole Moore
    Love & Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    Write at least ten amazing things about yourself. Think about your unique talents and skills. When you focus on the positive aspects of your personality, you will feel more confident.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 2 Helpful 14
  • Question
    How do you differentiate between infatuation and love?
    Nicole Moore
    Love & Relationship Coach
    Nicole Moore is a Love and Relationship Coach and the Founder and CEO of Love Works Method, a private coaching and digital course service for women looking to find the right partner. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in body language and helping others take control of their dating life, attract a partner, and build a strong relationship. Nicole has been featured in numerous publications such as Cosmopolitan, Forbes, and USA Today. She also hosts Love Works with Nicole Moore, a podcast for modern women wanting love, dating, and relationship advice. Nicole holds a BA in Public Relations and Spanish from Syracuse University and a Certificate in Personal Coaching from New York University.
    Nicole Moore
    Love & Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    The feelings of an infatuated person can change quickly. At one moment, they may be madly in love with someone. But when the other person does not do what they want, they can start hating them. But when a person loves someone, they steadily build positive feelings toward the other person over time.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 5 Helpful 6
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      You Might Also Like

      How to
      Have Two Boyfriends at Once
      21 Ways to Be a Better Boyfriend: Everything You Need to Know
      How to
      Be a Good Girlfriend
      How to
      Act Around Guys
      How to
      Get a Guy to Notice You
      How to
      Attract a Christian Girl
      How to
      Get a Sweet Girlfriend
      How to
      Get a Boy in Middle School to Like You
      How to
      Kiss
      How to
      Turn on a Guy
      How to
      Impress a Girl with Words
      What Are the Bases in a Relationship? Defining the Baseball-Sex Metaphor
      Celebrate Your One Month Anniversary with These Sweet Messages
      How to
      Tell if Your Girlfriend Is Horny: 12 Signs She's Turned On
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://theartofcharm.com/art-of-dating/eye-contact-flirting-shy-guys/
      2. ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/guys-confess-what-makes-a-woma
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-wise-brain/201209/dont-be-intimidated
      4. ↑ Nicole Moore. Love & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
      5. ↑ Nicole Moore. Love & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
      6. ↑ https://www.succeedsocially.com/ownthing
      7. ↑ Nicole Moore. Love & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
      8. ↑ Nicole Moore. Love & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201606/how-and-why-play-hard-get
      1. ↑ Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT. Licensed Relationship Therapist. Expert Interview
      2. ↑ Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT. Licensed Relationship Therapist. Expert Interview
      3. ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-stop-gossiping-and-creating-drama/
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-emotional-meter/201807/how-to-let-go-of-the-need-for-approval
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201707/take-control-of-who-you-are-in-your-relationship
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201609/four-ways-stop-feeling-insecure-in-your-relationships
      7. ↑ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/inside-the-mind-of-a-man_b_5930384
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201207/bragging-when-is-it-ok-and-when-is-it-not-ok
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200811/the-art-now-six-steps-living-in-the-moment
      10. ↑ https://lifehacker.com/how-to-stop-being-a-pushover-1625771201
      11. ↑ https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/10-ways-stop-being-possessive-every-couple-needs-know.html
      12. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201702/be-mine-dealing-with-possessiveness-in-a-relationship
      13. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/getting-out-of-an-abusive-relationship.htm/
      14. ↑ https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/a32314885/dating-bad-boys/

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      The key to attracting a bad boy is to keep him on his toes and impress him with your confidence. If you want to get a bad boy’s attention, make eye contact with him, then break it to show him that you’re interested but that you also have better things to do. While a lot of girls are intimidated by bad boys, show him that you’re not afraid. If he approaches you, stand taller, or if he tries to interrupt you, let him know that you’re not finished speaking. Bad boys also love it when girls have their own lives and interests and aren’t easily won over, so if he calls, let it ring. You can call him back in a few hours. And don’t feel like you need to accept every invitation he extends to you. To learn how to make your relationship with a bad boy last, keep reading!

      Did this summary help you?
      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 486,243 times.

      Reader Success Stories

      • Cloud

        Apr 30, 2022

        "There is a bad boy at my school and I want to win him over but the kids in my grade says thatIi'm not ..." more
      More reader stories Hide reader stories
      Share your story

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement