Sixu Chen
Life, Career, and Relationship Coach
Education
- BA, Interior Design, California College of the Arts
Certifications & Organizations
- Certified Life Coach and Certified Relationship Coach, Life Purpose Institute
- Top 20 Coaches Nomination, Coach Foundation, 2021
Favorite Piece of Advice
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Forum Comments (7)
I would say don't judge yourself for that feeling . If something didn't work out before and you broke up, but your feelings are still there, embrace that feeling and see if there is any potential to get back together. If not, then let go. Otherwise, it's just pain. If you and your ex have no potentiality to have a future relationship, I would say stop being friends for a little bit until you don't have any feeling or any desire anymore, because a lot of time you just have that kind of one-sided intention of, “Oh, let's see if the other person is going to be interested in me again,” but it turns out they already shut that door. Then you end up with a second-time heartbreak.
What I would say is, if you do anything that speaks to your partner's love language to show that they're appreciated, they're loved, that's romantic . One of the things that's romantic to me is my partner suddenly showing up at my door with food, with flowers, or even just a hug, just to surprise me. I think that's super romantic, but on the other hand, if I do that to him, he may feel offended.
Second of all, I think it's important for you to really have your backbone to say you've done enough to earn a raise, rather than just want a raise and don't really have much supporting material to say why. To give an example, when I was asking for a raise at my previous design firm, I had supporting evidence - I was the one leading a team, and I found all the resources to help me complete the project. I took care of the project and had it smoothly completed, not only within the timeline but ahead of schedule. I definitely thought I deserved a raise. When they didn't give it to me, I spoke up and said, “I think I deserve a raise”.
And if they still will not comply, then you have two options: stay or leave. I want to encourage you to know your self-worth , and to know that if your employer doesn't value you and what you can offer, someone else will.
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