Hilarious Southern Sayings & Expressions (And What They Mean)

If you aren’t originally from the Southern United States, you might be surprised by the sheer number of unique sayings and phrases from that region! Southern sayings are known for being colorful, whimsical, and sometimes even a little bawdy—and many of them definitely require a sense of humor to appreciate. In this article, we’ll introduce you to a wide variety of funny Southern sayings and what they mean, including popular expressions, classic terms, and slang. Read on to learn more!

Examples of Funny Southern Sayings

Well, that just dills my pickle!
They’ve got a burr in their saddle!
I’m going to jerk a knot in your tail!
Well, butter my backside and call me a biscuit!
I’m fuller than a tick on a big dog.

Section 1 of 9:

Funny Southern Sayings that Express Emotions

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1
Happiness Who doesn’t love a creative way to say, “I’m really happy today”? As far as Southern sayings go, there are definitely some funny ways to express your happiness—or talk about someone else’s amazing mood. For example: ^{[1]
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- …Happy as a dead pig in the sunshine.
- …Happier than a tornado in a trailer park.
- …Happier than ol’ Blue laying on the porch chewing on a big ol’ catfish head.
- …Grinnin’ like a possum eatin’ a sweet potato!
- I’m fine as frog hair and not half as slick! (A positive way to say you’re doing well.)
- Well, that just dills my pickle!
- They’re as happy as if they had good sense.
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Anger Ever seen someone so obviously ticked off that you have to comment on it? It happens to everyone at one time or another—and in the South, there are plenty of ways to describe someone as angry (without necessarily using the word “angry”). These include:
- They’ve got their knickers in a knot.
- They’ve got a burr in their saddle!
- They’re pitching a hissy fit!
- They’re pitching a hissy fit with a tail on it! (More intense than a regular “hissy fit.”)
- They have a duck fit. (An angrier version of “hissy fit.”)
- They have a dying duck fit! (The angriest description on this list.)
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Irritation Then, there might be a day when you’re feeling irritated with someone—or just find them super irritating in general. We all have those days! These Southern sayings are usually used to vent about irritating people (or to show someone how irritated you are with them). ^{[2]
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- They could make a preacher cuss!
- They could piss off the Pope.
- They really get my goose.
- They just make my a** itch!
- They could start an argument in an empty house.
- They could make a bishop mad enough to kick in a stained glass window.
- They’re as useless as a screen door on a submarine.
- Stop going around your a** to get to your elbow!
- If you don’t stop crying, I’ll give you something to cry about.
- Who licked the red off your candy?

Section 2 of 9:

Funny Southern Sayings About Money

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Being broke These Southern-isms are used to describe someone’s wealth—or, in this case, lack thereof. Someone without much money might refer to themselves with any of the phrases below as a whimsical way of saying they’re flat-out broke. For example:
- Poor as a church mouse.
- Don’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.
- Too poor to paint, too proud to whitewash.
- So poor, I can’t afford to pay attention!
- So poor I have a tumbleweed as a pet!
- I couldn’t buy a hummingbird on a string for a nickel.
- I couldn’t jump over a nickel to save a dime.
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Being thrifty or cheap Plenty of people make a point to save their money as much as possible and refuse to spend it on anything that could be considered “frivolous.” In the South, there are a few phrases used to describe those penny-pinchers, including:
- Tighter than a flea’s a** over a rain barrel.
- Tighter than a bull’s a** at fly time.
- So cheap they wouldn’t give a nickel to see Jesus riding a bicycle,
- They squeeze a quarter so tight the eagle screams.
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Being rich On the other hand, when someone has a lot of money—enough to even be considered “rich”—there are Southern-isms to describe that, too. For example:
- They’re richer than Croesus! (Croesus was a king of Lydia known for his wealth.)
- They’re so rich they buy a new boat when they get the first one wet.
- They’re sh***in’ in high cotton!

Section 3 of 9:

Funny Southern Warnings & Threats

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When we say threats, we don’t necessarily mean earnest ones! For example, you could use these phrases to scold a mischievous child (just giving a colorful warning). On the other hand, they can also be used when someone is genuinely angry and willing to start some trouble—it just depends on the context and the speaker in question. ^{[3]
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- I’ll jerk you bald!
- I’m going to jerk a knot in your tail!
- I’ll slap you to sleep, then slap you for sleeping.
- I’ll cut your tail!
- I’m going to tan your hide!
- You don’t know dips*** from apple butter.
- I’ll knock you so hard you’ll see tomorrow today!
- I’ll knock you into the middle of next week, looking both ways for Sunday!
- Keep it up, and I’ll cancel your birth certificate.
- Me and you are gonna mix.
- You better give your heart to Jesus because your butt is mine!

Section 4 of 9:

Funny Southern Compliments & Flirting Phrases

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Just like there are sassy and even insulting Southern sayings, there are also super-affectionate and flirty sayings, too. These Southern compliments are used to flatter people, flirt with them, and tell them how special they are. For example:
- They’re pretty as a peach.
- They’re sweeter than cherry pie!
- They’re a tall drink of iced tea.
- They’re smart as all get out!
- They’ve got more style than Carter’s got little pills!
- They’ve got gumption!
- They’re happy as clams at high tide.
- I’d get gussied up for you!
- As long as I’ve got a biscuit, you’ve got half.
- You’re cuter than a speckled pup under a cabbage leaf.
- Gimme some sugar!

Section 5 of 9:

Funny Southern Sayings About the Weather

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Whether it’s sunny, rainy, cold, or blazing hot outside, there’s a funny (and extremely descriptive) Southern saying to match—or, in most cases, several. Take a look at these Southern weather-related phrases:
- It’s colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra!
- It’s colder than a penguin’s balls.
- It’s cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table.
- It’s colder than a well digger’s butt in January.
- It’s colder than a banker’s heart on foreclosure day at the widows’ and orphans’ homes.
- It’s hotter than a goat’s butt in a pepper patch!
- It’s hotter than blue blazes!
- It’s hotter than two rabbits in a wool sock.
- It’s raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock.
- This rain is a real frogwash.
- It’s so dry the trees are bribing the dogs!
- It’s drier than a popcorn fart around here!

Section 6 of 9:

Short & Funny Southern Sayings

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While there are many shorter sayings out there, we’ve collected some of the funnier short Southern phrases and split them into categories (so you can skim them easily). See the following phrases below:
- About feeling tired or worn out
  - I feel like I’ve been chewed up and spit out!
  - I feel like I’ve been eaten by a wolf and s*** over a cliff. (A ruder way to say “chewed up and spit out.”)
  - You look like ten miles of bad road! (You look rough, worn out, out of sorts, etc.)
  - You look like you’ve been ridden hard and put up wet!
- About speed
  - …Faster than green grass through a goose!
  - …Faster than a hot knife through butter.
  - …Faster than a knife fight in a phone booth.
  - …Faster than a scalded haint.
  - …Slower than a Sunday afternoon!
  - We’re off like a herd of turtles!
  - They took as long as a month of Sundays.
- About being busy
  - I’m busier than a moth in a mitten.
  - I’m busy as a one-legged cat in a sandbox!
  - I’ve been running all over hell’s half-acre.
  - Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor.

Section 7 of 9:

Funny Southern Sayings About Life

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These funny Southern phrases are a little more varied. They’re the kind of phrases you might hear in everyday life—from popular exclamations to reassuring statements or pearls of wisdom. Check out the following Southern sayings about life and the world: ^{[4]
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- That dog will hunt! (That plan will work!)
- Don’t go borrowing trouble. (Stop worrying about things you can’t change.)
- If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay under the porch. (If you can’t keep up, just don’t do it.)
- Bless your pea-pickin’ little heart! (Bless you!)
- Whatever cranks your tractor! (Whatever makes you happy.)
- Why so sad? Did Chevrolet stop making trucks? (What’s wrong?)
- They couldn’t carry a tune if they had a bucket with a lid on it. (They can’t sing.)
- Kiss my go-to-hell! (Screw you!)
- I feel pecked by a hundred chickens. (I feel stressed.)
- Well, butter my backside and call me a biscuit! (Exclamation of surprise)
- Well, slap my head and call me silly! (Another exclamation of surprise)
- That’s a lost ball in high weeds. (That’s a lost cause.)
- It’ll all come out in the wash! (Everything will be okay.)
- I’m fuller than a tick on a big dog! (I’m full!)

Section 8 of 9:

Funny Southern Insults

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Insults about foolishness or confusion These Southern phrases are most often used to describe people as dull or foolish—implying that they’re not very smart. Just keep in mind that these are still insults, even if they sound funny, which means they can really hurt people’s feelings. Be careful about using them (and all of the insults in this section). ^{[5]
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- They couldn’t find their a** with both hands in their back pockets!
- They’re as confused as a fart in a fan factory.
- They don’t know whether to check their a** or scratch their watch.
- They only have one oar in the boat.
- They aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed.
- They aren’t wrapped tight!
- That person is a few bricks shy of a load!
- If brains were leather, they wouldn’t have enough to saddle a junebug!
- If that person had an idea, it would die of loneliness.
- The porch light is on, but nobody’s home.
- They haven’t got the sense that God gave a goose!
- Their brain rattles around like a BB in a boxcar.
- If their brains were dynamite, they couldn’t blow their nose.
- They couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel!
- They could throw themselves to the ground and miss.
- There are tree stumps with a higher IQ!
- I was born at night, but not last night! (Basically: “I’m not that foolish!”)
- They’re as useful as a steering wheel on a mule!
- They won’t hit a lick at a snake! (They’re so lazy they wouldn’t try to make a snake go away.)
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Insults about lying When you have to interact with someone who repeatedly stretches the truth, it can definitely be frustrating—and there are Southern sayings reflecting that. Of course, you can also use these sayings in a humorous way—-with a friend or loved one who tells an obvious lie as a joke, for example. ^{[6]
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- You’re so full of crap your eyes are brown!
- Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining!
- You’re lying like a no-legged dog!
- If their lips are moving, they’re lying.
- They’d call an alligator a lizard!
- They’re talking with their tongue out of their shoe.
- They’re as windy as a sack full of farts!
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Insults about looks Yes, there are even Southern insults used to refer to someone you think is unattractive. However, it’s definitely not okay to insult someone’s looks, as that can be incredibly hurtful. So, we don’t recommend using these unless you’re just joking around (and everyone else is in on the joke, too).
- …So ugly I’d hire them to haunt a house.
- …So ugly they’d scare a buzzard off a pile of guts.
- …So ugly they’d make a freight train take a dirt road.
- …So ugly they’d turn sweet milk to clabber.
- …So ugly that their momma used to borrow a baby to take to church.
- They fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
- They didn’t get hit with the ugly stick, they got hit with the whole forest.
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Insults about vanity When someone is vain, it means they think too highly of themselves or are overly concerned about appearances. And, in the South, a few different phrases can describe someone’s vanity in a way that’s sure to make you chuckle.
- They think the sun comes up just to hear them crow!
- They’re stuck up higher than a light pole!
- Their nose is so high in the air they could drown in a rainstorm.
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Insults about bad people Scoundrel, cad, villain, wicked—there are plenty of ways to describe someone of poor moral character. And, in the South, the different ways to refer to a nefarious or dishonorable person can be as vivid and colorful as they are funny. For example: ^{[7]
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- Meaner than a wet panther.
- That egg-suckin’ dog!
- Worthless as gum on a boot heel!
- Lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon rut.
- Slicker than owl s***!

Section 9 of 9:

Funny Southern Slang

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Finally, let’s talk about Southern slang! You can find unique regional slang just about anywhere, and the South is no exception. Plus, some Southern slang terms are downright funny-sounding! For example: ^{[8]
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- Bread basket - Stomach
- Britches - Pants
- Cattywampus - Something that’s askew or cockeyed.
- Down yonder - Over here
- Fetching - Good-looking
- Fixin’ - Getting ready for something
- Gussied up - Dressed up
- Hankerin’ - A hunger or yearning for something
- Highfalutin’ - Pretentious, overly fancy
- Lick - A small amount
- Piddlin’ - Puttering around (not doing anything important)
- Plumb - Entirely
- Ruckus - A commotion
- Skedaddle - Hurry
- Uppity - Arrogant
- Whup - Whip, beat

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Hilarious Southern Sayings & Expressions (And What They Mean)

Examples of Funny Southern Sayings

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Funny Southern Sayings that Express Emotions

Funny Southern Sayings About Money

Funny Southern Warnings & Threats

Funny Southern Compliments & Flirting Phrases

Funny Southern Sayings About the Weather

Short & Funny Southern Sayings

Funny Southern Sayings About Life

Funny Southern Insults

Funny Southern Slang

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