Q&A for How to Refer to a Non‐Binary Person

Ask your student about their preferred pronouns and refer to them by their name. If you're unsure which team they prefer to compete with, have a private conversation with them before or after class to find out what makes them most comfortable.

You need to practice regularly and correct yourself if you make a mistake. Over time, it will become easier to remember and use the correct pronouns.

You can call them your "partner" or "significant other," or you can ask them what they'd prefer to be called.

Consider using "royal," "ruler," or "their majesty." If it's for a character you're creating, you can choose the title. Otherwise, it's best to ask the person directly.

Instead of calling them a brother or sister, call them a sibling.

It is likely that people will sometimes accidentally assume your gender. The best thing you can do is politely correct them and move on with your day.

You should ask your child what they prefer to be called. If unsure, use "my child."

Some non-binary people are okay with that, since the word "dude" has become pretty gender-neutral. If you're not sure, though, it never hurts to ask the non-binary person if it's okay.

You can say, "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful person." If referring to a teenager, you might use "a teen."

Non-binary people express themselves in diverse ways. Some may lean more towards masculinity, others towards femininity, and some may shift between these expressions over time. It all depends on the individual.

Changing your name is a deeply personal choice, so take time to reflect on what feels right for you, and consider discussing it with your parents if you feel comfortable doing so.

Using a non-binary person's birth name without their permission is disrespectful. You should ask for and use their preferred name and pronouns.

You could just be attracted to this one non-binary person, it doesn't have to dictate how you identify your sexuality. Most people use the term "pansexual" to refer to someone who can be attracted to anyone, regardless of gender/gender identity, so that might suit you. The word "skoliosexual" is used to describe people who are only/mainly attracted to non-binary people. Again, it's totally your choice how you want to identify.

It's not your place to tell someone what they do and do not think, and it doesn't hurt you in the least to respect someone's pronouns.

A modernized birth certificate should include the time, place, and nationality of birth, as well as the names of the parents for the child's reference. It should also provide spaces for individuals to later fill in details such as their name and gender identity.

You can use "Mx" (pronounced like "mux") as a gender-neutral alternative to "ma'am" and "sir."

Using "nibling" is an appropriate and inclusive alternative, as long as it is acceptable to the child's parents and the child.

"Nibling" could be a good term, if your sibling's child likes it. Or say "my brother's/sister's/sibling's child," depending on the gender of the parent you're related to. In person, you can just call them by their name.

Yes, you can identify as non-binary regardless of your appearance or name. You don't need to change them unless it would make you feel more comfortable.

A common alternative many non-binary people prefer is "Mx," which is pronounced the same as "mix." But you can always ask the non-binary person what they prefer.

Absolutely! Your identity is personal, and you can choose to present as feminine all the time or whenever you like while still identifying as non-binary.

Communicate clearly with your family about your discomfort with their use of your birth name and pronouns, and explain how it affects you. If possible, seek supportive environments where you can express your identity freely, and consider setting boundaries to protect your well-being.

Your partner can use terms like "partner," "significant other," or "date mate." Choose whatever feels right for both of you.

Yes, you can be non-binary and use any pronouns that feel right for you. If you're comfortable with "he" and "they," you can use both, and others can follow your lead.

Yes. Just because you are non-binary doesn't mean you can't like men or anyone else. Non-binary is a gender preference, and that does not affect your sexual preference. This is quite common, so you are not alone in this.

It's common for some people to have a preference for they/them pronouns while being comfortable with other pronouns. Everyone's experience with gender and pronouns is unique, and there's no right or wrong way to feel about it.

You could identify as an androphile, a term for those attracted to men. However, non-binary people might also describe themselves as straight, gay, or queer, depending on their gender identity, their assigned gender at birth, or what feels right to them.

A non-binary parent might prefer terms like "rennie," or they may be comfortable with "mom" or "dad," depending on their individual preference.

The safest option is to use the honorific "Mx.," pronounced like the word "mix."

Whether you identify as transgender is a personal decision. Transgender typically refers to someone whose gender identity differs from their birth sex. Some non-binary people identify as transgender, while others do not, based on personal factors like dysphoria or community connection. Ultimately, you decide if the term fits your identity.