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Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Psychotherapist

Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is also an award-winning and best-selling author. Her latest book, “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues", details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each.

Education

  • University of Pennsylvania, MSW
  • University of Florida, BA, Health/Sociology

Professional Achievements

  • Published "Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues" in 2024
  • Published “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” in 2010
  • Published “Thriving with ADHD” in 2018, winner of the Indie Book Award and Firebird Book Award
  • Co-hosted advice show on LA Talk Radio, currently hosts livestream show on Balance by Nature
  • Columnist for Psychology Today

Certifications & Organizations

  • Licensed Clinical Social Worker
  • Spokesperson for Brillia, ADHD Awareness
  • Psychotherapist Consultant for Cognitive Leap

Philosophy

Kelli strives to provide both immediate, short-term solutions and long-term, in-depth care for a wide variety of clients. Her strengths include helping clients develop better self-esteem, facilitating open and constructive communication among family members, and working with romantic partners to address underlying causes of dissatisfaction in a relationship.

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Forum Comments (20)

How to end a friendship with someone.
First and foremost, I believe it’s easier to think of it as an ending of the friendship for now . The truth is, we don’t know if things change on either end, and the friendship may resume. It’s good to keep an open mind about the possibility of reconciliation . If you’ve felt you’ve tried to explain your feelings or the behaviors in your friend you didn’t like, it’s best then to state something along the lines of “I’ve appreciated our friendship in the past but for now I’m realizing it’s best we take some time to put our friendship on pause.”

I am a licensed clinical social worker providing general information for educational purposes only. I am not liable for any decisions made or actions taken based on the information provided.
What are the characteristics of an ideal man for marriage?
My biggest rule of thumb is, don’t date based on potential . In other words, what you see right now in your partner is who they are. Often, there is a fantasy that the things we don’t like with our partner will disappear once we get married. So the biggest question I’d ask is: would I be happy marrying them as they are today? Do I get my needs met: emotionally, physically, spiritually, and more? There are many struggles and obstacles in life. Can I imagine going through hard times with this person and coming out the other end?

I am a licensed clinical social worker providing general information for educational purposes only. I am not liable for any decisions made or actions taken based on the information provided.
What makes you love someone & do you need a reason to love someone?
I believe it may be different for everyone, but if we look at love as both a feeling and an action , then the question becomes: Do I feel good around this person? Do I feel safe and connected to them? Do they make me want to be a better person? Does this person fulfill me emotionally, physically, spiritually, and more?

I don’t believe you need a reason to love someone, but often one may mistake lust for love. In other words, the feel-good hormones we feel around someone at the beginning of a relationship can be mistaken for love. How can you tell? You see how you feel about this person over the span of some time.

I am a licensed clinical social worker providing general information for educational purposes only. I am not liable for any decisions made or actions taken based on the information provided.
How can I tell if my BFF likes me?
If you have a crush on your best friend, I'm a person who believes that honesty is the best policy. If we’re not honest, we can’t really get intimate with somebody, even on an emotional level, because we’re not being authentic—we’re not being genuine. So for me, I always believe that we should be honest, especially with the people we care about. Just try to have the conversation with no expectations about the outcome, because this person might not feel the same way, and that’s okay.
Husband can't be faithful
After your husband cheats, you need to tell your husband how you feel: that you're hurt, that you're sad, that you're angry. It's important for you to vocalize that. After infidelity, the partner who has been cheated on often feels extremely vulnerable, making it even harder to say how they're feeling, but I really would encourage that. That way, they may feel less isolated. And when something like infidelity happens, there's going to be waves: you may feel close and connected to your partner one day, and really angry the next day. That's grief, and when there's infidelity, there is a loss of trust of your partner which can result in grief.

Also, if you have questions about why this occurred or what happened, ask them. Infidelity isn't necessarily the end of a relationship. In fact, it can be a really nice opening for a deeper and more connected relationship. So I think there's an opportunity here for partners to grow and learn from what happened. When the time is right, talk about what wasn't working in the relationship, or why you didn't feel connected. And then, figure out a plan going forward to feel more connected and more safe.
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Co-authored Articles (293)

Does He Like Me Quiz

Some guys can feel like a total mystery. How can you figure out if he likes you as just a friend—or if he wants something more? When you pay close attention, you might start to find that his actions reveal all his se...

What's Your Red Flag Quiz

Red flags: we all have them. At the end of the day, nobody’s perfect—but have you ever stopped to wonder what might cause your dates to bolt? Maybe it’s a quirky habit, maybe it’s a fear of commitment. Either ...

Love Language Quiz

You know the story: one partner says “I think you're amazing,” when the other just wants them to unload the dishwasher. What happens when two people love each other, but they just don’t show it in the way their par...

Am I In Love Quiz

Is it a deep friendship, a crush, or something more? True love can be overwhelming, confusing—and totally incredible. So how do you know if you’ve been struck by cupid’s bow? With a little self-reflection, you...

How to Compliment a Guy's Manhood: 14 Sexy Compliments

You’re enjoying sex with your man and want to let him know how much you like his manhood, but how do you compliment such a sensitive area? There are a lot of phrases you can use to let him know he’s got the goods, an...

Am I Ready For A Relationship Quiz

Relationships offer fun, comfort, and companionship, but how do you know when you’re ready to commit? Maybe you’ve been burned in the past, or maybe this would be your first serious relationship. Either way, we love...

Men Type Quiz

Butterflies, crushes, soulmates…love makes life exciting! But how can you find a man who’s sure to make your heart soar? We all have a type. Identify yours, and you’ll be one step closer to finding the perfect gu...

How to Respond to "What's Up?"

Example replies for "what's up?" in any situationYou’re minding your own business when a “What’s up?” is thrown your way. You may hear this friendly phrase from a friend, crush, coworker, or stranger. They want t...

How to Find Your DoppelgÓ“nger (or Twin)

Ever wondered if there was someone out there who looked just like you? We’ve all heard the urban legend that there are 6 people out there who look just like us—but how, exactly, can you find your identical stranger? ...

Am I Toxic Quiz

“Toxic” people are a hot topic. Typically, this term is used to describe a negative person who regularly devalues others. Everyone’s selfish sometimes, and, on occasion, we all tell white lies. So how do you know i...

What to Say When a Family Member, Friend, or Acquaintance Is in the Hospital

Supportive and sweet messages to say in-person, over the phone, or text to someone in the hospital When someone you know is sick in the hospital, it can be hard to know how best to support them. Sending a quick, encourag...

How Insecure Am I Quiz

Do you sometimes feel uncomfortable in your own skin or like you’re not good enough? If so, it may be because you’re insecure. Insecurity is a state of uncertainty or inadequacy and can make you doubt yourself. We kn...

How to

Disappear Completely

Whether you need to lay low or simply want to be left alone, disappearing might sound like a good idea. Running away usually isn’t necessary and most problems are solvable with help. Instead of vanishing completely, co...

How to Tell if Your Husband Is Gay

Plus, how to talk to your husband about his sexuality Sexuality is complex, and there are a lot of people out there who don’t realize their sexuality is more fluid than they think until later in life. If you suspect yo...

How to Get Your Mind & Body Ready for Sex

Connect with yourself and your lover with these expert-backed tipsHaving sex with someone new can be nerve-wracking, but it’s exciting, too! There are probably a lot of things running through your mind when you’re pr...

12+ Cute and Unique Ways to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend

When you ask a girl to become your girlfriend, you want it to be memorable! Sure, you could ask, "Want to be my girlfriend?" but she may be hoping for something more creative. Fortunately, there are lots of lighthearted,...

How to Answer “How’s It Going?” in Any Situation

Never struggle to quickly come up with a response againYou’re going about your day when someone asks you "How's it going?" A simple question, right? Then why can it feel so tricky to answer? Don't worry—we’ve compi...

10 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Hiding Something on His Phone

Look for these red flags to tell if he’s keeping something from youIt’s important to be open and honest with your partner when you’re in a relationship. If you notice that your boyfriend is being sneakier with his ...

Anger Issues Test

Anger: we all feel it sometimes, whether it's a flash of irritation or a period of boiling rage. On its own, it can be a perfectly valid, healthy, and understandable feeling—but it’s less than ideal if red-hot anger ...

Right Brain vs Left Brain Test

Have you heard people described as "left-brained" or "right-brained"? In the 1960s, research on the brain's hemispheres gave rise to the idea that one side of a person's brain—the right or the left—may be more domina...
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