Making the decision to tell others about your bipolar disorder may add stress to an already unsettling process. Sharing your diagnosis should involve tact and discretion. Keep in mind that not everyone needs to know. First seek the advice and support from trusted professionals and loved ones. With their help, you can attempt to discuss your bipolar disorder and answer any questions people may have.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Seeking Moral Support

  1. A part of your initial treatment for bipolar disorder should include some aspect of helping you cope with coming to terms with your diagnosis and breaking the news to others. [1] If your therapist does not bring up the topic, however, you are welcome to request their help. [2]
    • You might say, “I’m really worried about telling my friends about my diagnosis. Can you give me some pointers?”
    • Ask your therapist if it might be helpful to bring in key people in your life for a session to discuss the news. You and your therapist can rehearse the language you want to use.
  2. Telling people about your diagnosis should happen in stages. It can be overwhelming to sit everyone down who’s close to you and tell them all at once. Instead choose to start by confiding in one or two very close loved ones. [3]
    • It might be tempting to only confide in one person, but that creates a very heavy burden for them to bear alone. Tell at least two people so that you have multiple sources of support and options for contact in case of a crisis. [4]
    • If you need some ideas about how to discuss your diagnosis, the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance has literature to help you navigate difficult conversations. [5]
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  3. After you have disclosed your diagnosis to a precious few, you might ask these individuals to offer their support as you tell others. Doing so offers you moral support. Plus, once those you initially confide in are educated about your condition, they can help you explain and answer questions, too.
  4. Never feel like you have to tell everyone you know about your bipolar disorder. The choice is yours. You might tell people with whom you interact with on a daily basis, or you might keep the news strictly between you, your family, and few close friends. When deciding who to tell, it can be helpful to think about how providing this information will serve you. [6]
    • Some people tell everyone and some people tell hardly anyone. You might decide who to tell based on how you think they might react. For instance, if a person tends to be critical or unsupportive, you may not confide in them. You want to feel supported, not ostracized. [7]
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Explaining Your Condition

  1. Describe your condition in the simplest terms at first. You can add more detail as the information soaks in, but try not to overwhelm everyone. Briefly explain what bipolar disorder is. Try to stay grounded in science as much as possible. [8]
    • Say, “I’m pretty sure you have noticed that something has been up with me. My doctor diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. It’s a brain disorder that makes me feel very high at times and very low at others.”
  2. It won’t help to give a general picture of bipolar disorder if this picture doesn’t relate to you. Make sure you explain your condition based on your very own experience of it. Use examples that are relevant to you.
    • For instance, say something like “When I feel manic, I don’t need any sleep. I talk fast and feel very excited. When I am depressed, I sleep for days. I don’t eat and I can barely drag myself out of bed, I’m so tired.”
    • You can help your listener relate to your condition by asking about a time they felt depressed or down, for example. You can let them know that you feel something similar, but the strength of the feeling might be multiplied many times over. It will help them put themselves in your shoes.
  3. Not everyone in your social circle will have a thorough understanding of mental illness. Tailor your explanations to the group you are addressing, touching on the basics that they may witness.
    • Unless you have children of your own, you might not choose to confide in a young person.
    • However, some people with lower education levels may have trouble understanding your condition. Being careful how you describe bipolar disorder can mitigate any stigma associated with this disorder. [9]
  4. Be upfront and honest with your loved ones. Don’t shrug off your symptoms or send the message that “It’s no big deal.” You may not want to share the very worst of bipolar disorder, but you should let them know that you will need their support. Spell out what that means to you. [10]
    • For instance, say, “There is no cure for bipolar disorder. This is something I will deal with for the rest of my life. Because I care about you, I want you to know what’s going on with me and how you can help. First and foremost, I ask that you be patient with me…”
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Answering Questions

  1. It’s easy to become defensive when you’re discussing something personal like a mental illness. However, shutting down doesn’t help the dialogue or inspire your loved ones to offer support. Show them that you want them to understand and be there for you by encouraging them to ask you questions. [11]
    • You might ask, “I know this is a lot to take in. Does anyone have any questions or concerns?”
    • Provide any pamphlets or videos that might be helpful to their best understanding your condition.
  2. While it’s important to maintain an open and honest dialogue with those closest to you, you do have the liberty to withhold any personal information you don’t feel needs sharing. You might do this because you worry about stigma or because you are not as close to a particular person. [12]
    • If this happens, simply say, “I’d rather not talk about that” and change the subject.
  3. Education is one of the best ways to reduce stigma about mental illness and ensure that your loved one provide adequate support. After your initial conversation, point your friends and family to credible sources where they can learn more. [13]
    • These may include the National Institute of Mental Health, the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance, and the National Alliance on Mental Illness. [14]
  4. Your loved ones can also support your treatment and recovery by joining you therapy or support group meetings. Here they can ask more questions to gain a better understanding about bipolar disorder and learn how they can be there for you in recovery. [15]
    • Support groups can give your loved one direct accounts about what its like to live with your condition, which can aid their understanding.
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