A Beginner’s Guide to Mastering Kissing Technique

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How to give and get the best kiss of your life
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Ah, kissing–one of the great pleasures of romance. The mysteries of a great kiss are some of the most wonderful mysteries to uncover. Whether you’re just starting on your kissing journey or you’re just hoping to improve, you’ve come to the right place. Being a top-level kiss master will take some practice, but fortunately, it's fun practice. Keep reading to learn all about mastering the art of kissing, with expert insights from dating and relationship coaches.

Mastering the Art of Kissing

Brush your teeth, hydrate, and pop in a breath mint. During the kiss, relax, close your eyes, use your hands to pull them in intimately, and try opening your mouth to touch your tongue with theirs. After the kiss is over, let them know you enjoyed it if you did.

Section 1 of 5:

Improving Your Kissing Technique

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  1. Some people enjoy looking into their partner's eyes when kissing, but most prefer to close them. Make eye contact with your crush before you initiate the kiss to spark that emotional connection, but keep them closed during the kiss for maximum romance. You’re likely to get more of a euphoric rush from the touch and feel of your partner’s lips if your eyes are relaxed and closed.

    Meet the wikiHow Experts

    Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach with 15 years of experience helping singles find lasting partnerships.

    Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and owner of dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada.

    Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach who offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps.

    Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, a dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

  2. 2
    Aim for the center part of the lips. During a kiss, meeting the upper and bottom lips dead on is a natural and universal way to start off. This means you are blanketing your crush’s lips with your own pucker. To keep the lip lock going, lightly kiss only one lip, softly sandwiching one of theirs between both of yours. Take turns alternating between their lips, and when they begin doing the same, you’ll find yourselves doing the delicate dance of the kiss.
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  3. Don't let your arms awkwardly hang there. Guys, put your hands around her back, waist, or on the sides of her face. Girls, you can put your hands in several places, including: around his neck, on the sides of his face, on his stomach, on his hips, or, a guy's favorite, on his biceps. Also, don't be afraid to run your fingers through your partner's hair. [1]
    • Reader Poll: We asked 650 wikiHow readers if using their hands while kissing makes the experience better, and 95% of them said yes. [Take Poll]
  4. Softly moan, sigh, or kiss back harder if what they are doing is pleasurable. Girls, if you are holding their arms/biceps, give a little squeeze. These small, subtle cues will let them know that you’re enjoying the kiss, giving them a boost of confidence and added motivation to keep the kiss going and the good times rolling.
  5. If you're smaller than the cutie you're going to kiss, then hold your head a little back and stand on your tiptoes, if you find that comfortable. Wrap your arms around their neck, and they will naturally wrap theirs around your waist and lift you. If you're taller than the partner you're going to kiss, bend your head a little down and keep your legs a little wide apart for the other person to stand.
  6. 6
    Change speed and pressure to intensify the emotion of the kiss. Typically, more pressure is more passionate and less pressure is more intimate. More speed gives a sense of urgency, like you two have been waiting your entire life for this, while a slower speed shows intimacy, like you're letting the moments last as long as you can. To be on the safe side, start off small, with short, light kisses, barely touching each other. Then add passion by applying more pressure—without smothering them— and length to each kiss.
  7. Begin with some sweet closed-mouth kisses. Then, slowly begin opening your mouth slightly, running your tongue along your partner’s lips. This is your way of saying, “Knock-knock, permission to enter?” If they reciprocate the gesture, then they’re into it. Proceed by stimulating their tongue with yours and moving your lips rhythmically in sync with theirs. Relationship coach Maya Diamond says, “You can use your tongue in different ways,” but warns against “aggressive kissing.” She believes that the “worst type of kissing is when [someone] pushes [their] tongue down your throat and you end up feeling overwhelmed by that.” [2]
    • Remember: Don't dive straight for the tonsils. Play with their tongue—caress, fondle, wrestle with it. Think of it as trying to massage the other's tongue. Don’t ever bite them; you could hurt the other person. [3]
    • Don’t be intimidated by French Kissing . It sounds scary only because it is not as easy as a regular kiss, but just do it in small steps by starting with closed-mouth kisses and then working your way up from there.
    • Use your tongue in the way you want your partner to use his/hers— both of you will naturally do the same.
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Section 2 of 5:

What to Do After the Kiss

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  1. 1
    Let them know you enjoyed the kiss. Dating coach Laura Bilotta encourages you to give your partner positive reinforcement after the kiss is done. She says, “If the kiss is good, then let [them] know! Tell them that they're a good kisser. Say, ‘Wow, you really are an amazing kisser.’” Of course, if the kiss wasn’t amazing, there’s no need to be dishonest, but telling them that the kiss sucked is also unnecessary. [4]
    • Dating coach Imad Jbara encourages that you “be patient” if the first kiss isn’t stellar. However, if you continue dating and kissing and you finally feel comfortable saying something, he says to “do it in a jokey way so it doesn't hurt somebody's feelings.” [5]
  2. 2
    Treat them with kindness and respect afterwards. Bilotta advises against being “awkward” when the kiss is over. She says, “Don’t be awkward and silent when the kiss stops. Don’t avoid eye contact after you have kissed or start being shy. Continue chatting and showing interest in her.” She shares that ending the date abruptly or being unable to pick up the earlier conversation before the kiss may make them feel like “you didn’t like the kiss.” To combat this, Bilotta suggests that you “smile and continue to get to know [them]... don’t switch off your brain because of one kiss!” [6]
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Section 3 of 5:

Improving Your Kissability

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  1. 1
    Practice good oral hygiene. This may seem like a no-brainer, but practicing good oral hygiene can help guarantee you a second, third, and 5th kiss. Brushing your teeth, scraping your tongue , and flossing daily are the pillars of having good breath, which is essential for being a good kisser. Stay hydrated and avoid eating pungent foods, like garlicky pasta or tacos covered in cilantro and onions— you don’t want your mouth to be a fiesta, but a small, intimate gathering for two. Pop in a breath mint or chewing gum before your next kiss to really seal the deal with your liplock. [7]
  2. Moistening your lips (but not too much) makes it easier for your lips to slide over your partner's. [8] Use colorless, stick lip balm for best results. Squeezable balm will work too but use in moderation. You don't want to smear shiny Carmex all over your partner.
  3. Dating coach Eddy Baller believes that, as long as you're both comfortable and at ease, the kiss will be pleasurable for you two. Just empty your mind of everything except the moment at hand, and you will master the art of kissing. Try to relax and be comfortable around your partner. If you or your body becomes tense, your lips will naturally tense up, too. [9]
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Section 4 of 5:

Importance of Consent

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  1. Make sure both people are consenting. Asking for consent is the best, most direct way to guarantee that you have it. However, Diamond adds that picking up on their body language can sometimes tell you all you need to know. She advises that you ask yourself the following questions: “Does it really seem appropriate for us to kiss right now, given our connection or chemistry, the way that [they are] responding to me, the way that [they’re] responding if I touch [them] or flirt with [them]?" She encourages you to “tune in” and figure out if it’s a good time and place to smooch it up. [10]
    • Bilotta explains certain body language cues that indicate kissing interest: “If [they’re learning in closer to you when you are talking,” if they’re “giving you gentle stares with flirty eyes,” and if they’re giving you “subtle touches”... these are “a good indication that [they] may want to kiss you.” [11]
    • Baller emphasizes the importance of consent every step of the way. When using your hands, keep them at appropriate places or your partner may get the wrong idea about your intentions. If they seem uncomfortable at any moment, stop. [12]
Section 5 of 5:

What makes a good kisser?

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  1. Being a good kisser is all about responding to the other person’s energy. According to Diamond, there are a few different factors that contribute to being a good kisser: “I would say to use tongue, and tune in to the other person while you're kissing them so that there's a feeling of connection.” She adds that “opening your mouth” and “moving your head” to the rhythm of the kiss and your partner’s movements is also key. [13]
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Join the Discussion...

Why do humans kiss?
WikiFoxChaser795
WikiFoxChaser795
What is the purpose of people kissing? What does it mean when people kiss? Why do people like to do it? I spent too long thinking about the actual mechanics of just pushing your mouth repeatedly against someone else's mouth and got weirded out...need someone to explain it to me.
Lauren Sanders
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
People kiss in many different contexts for different reasons. For example, if someone kisses you on the first date, it could mean they are interested in pursuing a potential relationship with you, because if they feel that comfortable---comfortable enough to exchange saliva and to get in your personal space, and allow you to get in their personal space as well---they definitely can see some potential for a future with you. But again, some people are just touchy-feely.

Kissing can also serve as an expression of affection. I'd say that if somebody is willing to kiss you on the first date, one of their primary love languages is probably physical touch, because not everybody does that in the very beginning, but people who are very touchy-feely tend to have physical touch as their primary love language.
Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
I think there are two sides to that question: 1) How can you tell if a woman wants a man to kiss her? and 2) How can you tell if a man wants to kiss a woman? If you want to know if a woman wants a man to kiss her, the pause where you have a lot of sexual tension is probably the best indication. If she just stares into his eyes and smiles and allows herself to feel butterflies, hopefully that's going to initiate the same response in him. Usually people will mirror each other in these kinds of situations. If he has some balls and he understands the situation, then he might just go for it. Obviously, if you're trying to get somebody else to do something, there's always that risk of they're not gonna understand completely, or if he's really shy, maybe he'll look away and then break that tension and the moment is gone. But that's the main thing—locking your eyes together, smiling, and just pausing. Take it slowly, you don't have to rush to anything.

If you're wondering how to tell if a man wants a woman to kiss him, he's probably going to be looking at her lips and awkwardly smiling a lot. But either way, there should be some sexual tension—you're looking at each other, you feel this thing, this energy or chemistry. There’s usually a lot of smiling going on and looking between the eyes and the lips. That's a good sign he wants to kiss.
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      Tips

      • When in doubt, be gentle.
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      • Breathe through your nose and slowly into the kiss. This can create an irresistible sensation.
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      • Practice by touching your lips to the back of your hand. You want to do it in short, upward bursts, starting with your mouth open and dragging your lips together, not pushing them into your hand.
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • Don't hold your breath while you're kissing. It's actually surprisingly easy to accidentally get light headed by forgetting to breathe when you're making out with someone. Try to take small, quiet breaths in between bigger kissing sessions.
      • Make sure that the other person is comfortable with being kissed! If you aren't sure you have consent, ask for it.
      • If you need to take a "breather," slowly pull your mouth away and put your forehead against theirs.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-french-kiss
      2. ↑ Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
      3. ↑ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-to-french-kiss
      4. ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      5. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      6. ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      7. ↑ https://www.myimagedental.com/blog/how-to-avoid-bad-breath-while-kissing/
      8. ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/7-signs-youre-a-good-kisser
      9. ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      1. ↑ Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
      2. ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      3. ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      4. ↑ Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      Are you unsure about what to do with your tongue while kissing? Here are some advanced techniques for what to do with your tongue when you and your partner want to take your kiss to the next level. If your partner is giving you a green light that they are ready to make your kiss more intimate, begin by running your tongue along their lower lip. If they seem into it, gently put just the tip of your tongue into their mouth. You can run your tongue along the inside of their teeth. Don’t overdo it, your tongue is a strong muscle, so remember to go slowly and not put too much of your tongue into their mouth at once. Suck lightly on your partner’s tongue, then slide the tip of your tongue along theirs gently before pulling back. This gives you a break and helps you keep your breathing even. To deepen the kiss even further, take your tongue and swirl it around theirs in a circular motion until you find a rhythm that works for you. As the kiss goes on, alternate between sliding your tongue along theirs and moving it in circles, switching up the pace of your movements as you go. You can pull back your tongue periodically to tease your partner while allowing you to have control of the kiss. Be sure to switch up your kissing techniques and include some non-tongue kissing to keep your make-out session exciting.

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