Hey all. You are probably wondering why the discussion title is “Suicide” - Well, if you’ve read the notice on my talk page, it said I’m leaving at the end of Sumner. Well…This is why. I’ll spare you the details and type quick. First, my life’s been miserable, it’s nothing like some people’s are. A lot worse. Please don’t think I’m switching my “Happy June” to “Dark and depressed June”. I read that if you try to get help, you at least care a little bit. Well, I’ve tried…And tried, and tried again. Not working. I can’t say everything that’s happened to me, but to sum it up, a lot of bullying, loneliness, crying, and a life changing event at age 15. Besides that, I don’t care to live, but, I kind of do. Last night, I talked to Matt (Illneedasaviour) and he said that there has to be something that keeps me going. I relized… Well, there is. My second family’s here, and it’s the one thing I still love. Matt told me, I at least need to try to get help. I thought I didn’t care, but I do a little since I’m posting this. I try not to post real life emotional things, because that’s not what we’re about, however, I think I need help. He said my second family’s always there for me…- I’ve done several things online, even talked to some awesome people here at wH, and nothing’s helped. I don’t know if I’m being stupid, for not posting this earlier, or dumb, for posting about my personal life, but whatever the reason, I am. I’d gladly accept any thoughts, and, if anyone could help, my family could. My second family. Love you all. <3 June Days
June, all of us on wikiHow are here for you. Just know that what you’re feeling will change, no matter how solid it seems now. When thinking about what I wanted to do with my life, I realized I wanted to live as long as possible. Why? So I could improve the world in as many ways as I could. The truth is, anyone can change the world. Everyone has so much power. June, just realize that every person is vital to making the world a place where no one can be harmed medically, emotionally, or phsically. Everyone is vital, whether or not they don’t complete college like Mark and Steve, and create Facebook or Apple, create the cure for cancer, or save the life of someone. Everyone can change the world like this. Aside from that, write down in a notebook all the things that you have ever done that have made you happy. Then, do as many of them again as you possibly can. I’d also like to suggest calling 1-800-273-TALK
It gets better. I can’t speak for your life-changing event, but I do know rather a lot of the other things you are talking about and yes it is awful
. I still sometimes fight with suicidal thoughts now, but that got a whole lot easier when I figured this out:
Don’t let your happiness be dependent on things that are out of your control.
Because if you do
allow those things to rule you then you are not in control of your own life and your own feelings, and the latter generally doesn’t work out too well. Look at your life and learn to identify what you can do something about and what you can not, especially those “can not” things that make you feel like this
, and think of some way in which you can adjust the situation so that you
are back in control of your own life. You don’t, for example, have all that much control over other people making fun of you; you can try all you like to endear yourself to people and people might still be fuck heads and hate you anyway
. What you can
control is whether you allow yourself to be affected by people. If people say things that hurt you, it’s because you care for their opinion to some extent
. That’s another way of telling you to get a thicker skin; it worked for me just fine. You also don’t have control over anything that happened in the past. Even if you were totally, 100% in control of those situations at the time and made stupid decisions, you can’t change those things now
, and if your happiness is dependent on something in the past not happening that did in fact happen, you are not in control
. Whether you will be ruled by them or whether you will try to pull whatever constructive lessons from the wreckage and let the rest of that motherfucker burn is something you can control
. And please, learn to identify that shit-heel voice in your head that tells you about the negative, tells you that you’ll never be anything and tells you that the world would be better off without you and learn to identify that as something separate from Rational June and ignore it
. That, too, is something you can control. These thoughts are a bit scattered, but I’m sure you’ll make sense of it, and you know where my email is if you want to talk. And finally, I present you with the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see Lewis Collard sign off with a Bible verse:
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June, I know we don’t know each other well, but I am so sorry you feel this way. Thank you for being brave enough to ask for help — it takes a lot of courage to admit that you’re struggling, but you’ve made the right decision. You said that you’ve sought help before, and it hasn’t helped. Perhaps the people you have asked in the past weren’t equipped with the training and the empathy to make it better. If you’re open to giving it another try (and I sincerely hope you are), please check out imalive.org
. (I don’t know if that’s hyperlinked, but whatever. Copy-paste? =) Sorry.) It doesn’t matter what country you’re in, as long as you have an internet connection. Please, please consider it. I saw the note on your Talk page the other day about leaving at the end of the summer, and I was sad. You’re an amazing presence on wikiHow, and your altruism is above and beyond mine in so many ways, and I really respect you for it. I’ve noticed how kind and patient you are with new people, and you’re so willing and eager to help out. Not only would our community be worse off for losing you, but the world needs people like you. Whatever has happened in the past, you are a force for good, and no one can take that away from you. If you’d like to email me to talk more, I would be more than happy to do that. I had some pretty rough experiences as a teenager as well, but it does get better. I never imagined my life being as amazing as it is now, and I’m so glad I’m here for it. You are valuable, you are capable, and you are strong. You can get through this, and I really hope you find the help you need. Let me know if I can do anything else to support you.
KommaH
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I’d just like to quote this post to place emphasis on what Lewis said. If you only read one of the posts here, read his. I don’t think I could’ve said it any better myself.
“There comes a time when you look into the mirror and you realize that what you see is all you will ever be. And then you accept it. Or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking in mirrors.” - Tennessee Williams
June, Everyone here has seen and appreciated your enthusiasm for wikiHow. We all love it and admire you for it. I know that with that sort of enthusiasm there are lots of good things ahead for you in life. You are a good soul who wants to help people. And the world needs more folks like you, not less. Everyone goes through tough times. We all know what it’s like. I know everyone at wikiHow is with me when I say that we want you to feel better. Please don’t do anything to hurt yourself. I’d like to offer two suggestions. As Loni mentioned please start an online chat at somewhere like: https://www.imalive.org/
http://www.newhopenow.org/counseling/liveperson.html
http://www.crisischat.org/chat
Those places are staffed by people trained in crisis management. While the wikiHow family loves and supports you, we aren’t trained in crisis management. These folks are. Second, I might suggest that you communicate your feelings with a family member or someone who is physically close to you. Having someone in the same room as you hearing you out can help. We’re all here for you. You can and will get through this. You offer too much to this world to leave.
June, You are like the best friend I’ve always wanted. You listen to me, you get me motivated to do great things in my life, you watch out for me, and you care about me. I’ve had so many people treat me like crap and like a piece of dirt. I’m not afraid to tell you how I’m feeling truly when you ask me, “What’s up?”. And that is how every person should be to another. You have accomplished so much in wikiHow, and I’m sure you have in life too. You’re an actress, and you never see too many of those that are as dedicated as you are. When I was trying out for the play, you’re the reason I got in. And that was one of the best experiences of my life. Please, please do not give up. As hard as life may seem, it will get better. I know that’s the last thing you wanna hear because you hear it all the time, but it is true. Always remember this one saying: “Pain is a good thing that let’s you know you’re still alive.” We are all here for you, and please, don’t give your precious life up. You are an amazing person, and I’ve seen you pull through on many things. We all love you.
Pfft, too much to this world.
I couldn’t, if I did, I wouldn’t feel like this now. However, thank you all for your kind words, Maddie, I am an actress, and me acting everything away is unbelievable - I’m sorry I’ve hidden this from all of you.I know everyone’s here for me, it just gets super tough at night times when I have no one to talk to, even a busy channel in IRC has barely anyone talking. Just feels bare and lonely. I know this’ll take time to get better, but for now, I’ll say thanks to all of you and e-mail you if I want to talk (Pretty soon). You guys are lucky to have Salma ( @Love2
) because I was on the edge last night and her being there for me on FB made me relize I was probably desperate enough to post this. @Lewis
, I seriously can’t believe you quoted a Bible verse, and I don’t really want to be with God now.But, I relize, if you did that, I must be important enough.
@Loni
, thanks and I’ll check that website out. @Jack
, I remember one of those websites you gave me a while ago, thank you. =) @wikiRicardo
, funny quote, and, I say, I’ve learned through this…Don’t keep things secret. I think it hurt me in the long run.Anyway, I’m not going to blabber on about this, I needed support in those times, and, I still may need it, but these messages have made me know that people care.
Not just Neil and IZ, but my whole wH family. June Days Disclaimer: Sorry if this is kind of like the other…Saga before.
I’m glad you’ve finally come forward with your feelings to the wikiHow forums, and honored that you think of us as your second family (or, at the very least, of me as a member of said family). You can count on us to lend moral support whenever you need it. I know I’m putting a lot of users on the spot, but I think I can safely say that we are not the kind of people to shy away from or be brought down by anything. Believe me when I say that your well-being is important. I’m trying to think of more heartwarming things to say, but I think everyone has stolen the words.
^ Hey, you’re the one who said I have a family here and should share with them.Thanks Mike, KommaH and Maddie. June Days
“If people try to pull you down, it just means you’re higher than them.”
Yeah, I know, my grammar sucks.
When you see a seed, you think it’s very small, stupid, and useless. You would say, well fuck that. But when a person who really cares pops in, the seed gets planted and turns into a beautiful flower. The flower will get positive attention, people will take care of it, and will live a happy life.But some stuff could interrupt the flower. Lawnmowers, people, drought and poison are just a few things that could destroy the flower. After a “people” attack, the flower will be in many pieces. You would view it as useless, just like the seed. But the flower is still beautiful. The petals are still very colorful. People will notice the damaged flower, and will say, well fuck that. The flower can’t make people notice the petals, but you can. Put behind your depressed mood, and show everybody that you are better than what they think you are. Act! Since you say you’re a great actress, show them what you’re made of. They will like you a million times better if you throw the unknown June in the trash, and pull out the fuck you bullies June. If you’re a TLDR person, Show them +June, rather than -June.
Steve5
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During church today, the pastor was talking about someone with the same problem about this girl. I wish that June was able to hear it.
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When the road gets too rough,slow down and take a break. When sleeping is horrific,breathe and relax. When you’re stressed,eat some candy And,if you need to,scream into your pillow.Punch your mattress.Yell at the trees.Throw a pencil.Slam your plates into the sink.Whatever gets the stress out of you,do it. Write in a journal. Start a private blog(or a public one),go for a long walk. Sorry if I have bad advice.
Tenzin Gyatso puts this pretty well… “Afflictive emotions - our jealousy, anger, hatred, fear - can be put to an end. When you realize that these emotions are only temporary, that they always pass on like clouds in the sky, you also realize they can ultimately be abandoned.”
For anyone on Wikihow, but especially June, don’t be afraid to be open about ANYTHING, we will stick by you as long as it takes.
Really *really* big cloud. =O I never said I was a great actress, I just teach it. And have been doing it for years. June Days
