Cath Hakanson
Global Sex Educator
Cath Hakanson is a global sex educator based in Greater Perth, Australia. With over 25 years of experience, Cath believes that parents should be able to educate their children about sex in a shame-free and fear-free way. As the founder of Sex Ed Rescue and Sex Ed Shop, she is on a mission to equip parents with the tools and confidence to make sex education more comfortable. Cath has helped over 1 million people around the world by creating comprehensive sex ed materials for parents, on topics including sex, gender identity, body diversity, consent, and more. Cath has previous experience as a sexual health nurse, a post-graduate certificate in sexual health and venereology, a master's in health promotion, and a post-graduate diploma in sexology. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, Women’s Health, Cosmopolitan, and more.
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Forum Comments (4)
I'm confused about my sexuality
What you’re feeling could be a form of asexuality, which is perfectly fine. However, it doesn't necessarily mean that at all, and could be that you're still just figuring out what interests you. Give yourself time to see what feels right. Remember that for some people, sexual identity can take time to develop, so do what’s right for you. Just because other people are hooking up or pursuing relationships doesn’t mean you have to. Peer pressure can be tough, but you should stay true to what feels right, and it sounds like right now you’re not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship.
This quiz said I'm asexual. What does that mean for dating?
Something to keep in mind is that there are lots of different types of asexuality. Some people who are asexual may still be interested in having romantic relationships and such.
I think it's important to understand what part of you is asexual, because there are different aspects of life and relationships. If you're navigating dating while being asexual, it’s important to understand what you do or don’t want from dating. Is it a platonic thing? Are you trying to find companionship, or someone to hug, kiss, and hold hands with?
It really comes down to knowing what you want out of a relationship and being upfront and honest about it. Most dating situations start with the assumption that the relationship may eventually lead to sex. If you’re asexual—whether you don’t want sex or don’t enjoy it—you should be honest about that.
I think it's important to understand what part of you is asexual, because there are different aspects of life and relationships. If you're navigating dating while being asexual, it’s important to understand what you do or don’t want from dating. Is it a platonic thing? Are you trying to find companionship, or someone to hug, kiss, and hold hands with?
It really comes down to knowing what you want out of a relationship and being upfront and honest about it. Most dating situations start with the assumption that the relationship may eventually lead to sex. If you’re asexual—whether you don’t want sex or don’t enjoy it—you should be honest about that.
How do I tell if I'm lesbian or bisexual?
Definitions and labels are changing all the time. At the end of the day, it’s up to you, the individual, to decide if you’d prefer to identify as a lesbian or as bisexual. If you're confused, one approach is to seek out information—there are fantastic websites and creators on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube who talk about this. Talking to friends, family, a counselor, or therapist can also help. At the same time, keep in mind that too much information can be overwhelming. You might still feel confused, and that’s okay.
The most important thing is to stay curious. Don’t overthink it. You might be bisexual, you might be a lesbian—just give yourself time to see what feels right. Also, remember that for young people, sexuality is still developing. Some people discover they're bi, gay, or pan in their 20s, 30s, 40s—or even later. I was chatting with a trans woman at the hairdresser recently—she only came out in her late 50s. Some people need more time. It’s okay not to have a label right away. Social media can make people feel pressured to define themselves because “everyone else knows who they are.” But it’s really okay not to rush it.
The most important thing is to stay curious. Don’t overthink it. You might be bisexual, you might be a lesbian—just give yourself time to see what feels right. Also, remember that for young people, sexuality is still developing. Some people discover they're bi, gay, or pan in their 20s, 30s, 40s—or even later. I was chatting with a trans woman at the hairdresser recently—she only came out in her late 50s. Some people need more time. It’s okay not to have a label right away. Social media can make people feel pressured to define themselves because “everyone else knows who they are.” But it’s really okay not to rush it.
How do I deal with finding my sexuality? Bisexuality vs pansexuality
Definitions and labels are changing all the time. At the end of the day, it’s up to you, the individual, to decide if you’d prefer to identify as bisexual or pansexual. If you're confused, one approach is to seek out information—there are fantastic websites and creators on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube who talk about this. Talking to friends, family, a counselor, or therapist can also help. At the same time, keep in mind that too much information can be overwhelming. You might still feel confused, and that’s okay.
The most important thing is to stay curious. Don’t overthink it. You might be bisexual, you might be pansexual—just give yourself time to see what feels right. Also, remember that for young people, sexuality is still developing. Some people discover they're bi, gay, or pan in their 20s, 30s, 40s—or even later. I was chatting with a trans woman at the hairdresser recently—she only came out in her late 50s. Some people need more time. It’s okay not to have a label right away. Social media can make people feel pressured to define themselves because “everyone else knows who they are.” But it’s really okay not to rush it.
The most important thing is to stay curious. Don’t overthink it. You might be bisexual, you might be pansexual—just give yourself time to see what feels right. Also, remember that for young people, sexuality is still developing. Some people discover they're bi, gay, or pan in their 20s, 30s, 40s—or even later. I was chatting with a trans woman at the hairdresser recently—she only came out in her late 50s. Some people need more time. It’s okay not to have a label right away. Social media can make people feel pressured to define themselves because “everyone else knows who they are.” But it’s really okay not to rush it.
