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Why might some men choose to cross dress in today's society?

Anna Elton, PhD, LMFT
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Anna Elton, PhD, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Clinical Sexologist, Speaker, and Author based in Florida. With over 15 years of experience, she works with individuals, couples, and families both nationally and internationally. Dr. Elton is an author and the founder of the non-profit “I Care We All Care". She is also the host of Life, Love, Etc., a bi-weekly relationship show reaching over 100,000 viewers per episode. Her clinical work and insights have been featured on PBS, FOX, ABC, and NBC, and she contributes regularly to Psychology Today through her blog Life, Love, Etc. She received a Ph.D in Clinical Sexology from MSTI, a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from UMass Boston, and a BS in Psychology from UMass Boston.

Anna Elton, PhD, LMFT

Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Expert Answer

Cross dressing gives a sense of freedom to choose how to express yourself. While in the past cross dressing may have been judged more harshly, today's society is becoming more accepting, which allows people to be themselves more freely. Some men might cross dress as a way to explore their identity or feelings, possibly to see how they relate to gender identity. But in many cases, it's simply expressing outwardly how they feel inside. From what I've seen with clients, many have always had these inner inclinations but didn't feel brave enough to act on them openly before. The shift towards more acceptance has given them the courage to let their inner self manifest outwardly through cross dressing.

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Question

Is it wrong to say that I really love being in women’s clothes? I truly love how the satin feels on me.

Danielle

Community Answer

That means you are a transvestite. See a therapist if it is preventing you from focusing on human relationships.

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Why does my boyfriend only like to crossdress during sex so much he'll choose that over everything?

Danielle

Community Answer

He is a transvestite and it sexually excites him. If he cannot have a sexual relationship with you without wearing female clothes you should dump him.

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My husband cross-dresses at home, which I support, but I've discovered he's been flirting with others through private messages. How can I address feeling cheated on while also respecting his cross-dressing?

Danielle

Community Answer

You have been very open-minded, and your husband should recognize and appreciate that. It's important to communicate your feelings about his online flirting, as it's a separate issue from his cross-dressing. You might consider discussing role-playing or other ways he can engage with you to fulfill those needs.

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I am taking hormones, and my breasts are starting to show. How can I keep these changes hidden from my wife, who is unaware of my hormone use?

Danielle

Community Answer

Hiding significant physical changes like breast development from your spouse is extremely difficult in the long term. Open and honest communication about your hormone use is generally recommended to address such a situation. In many cases, individuals undergoing hormone treatment might develop up to an A-cup size over two years.

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