Q&A for How to Make a Clean Comeback

You can say, "If I was dropped on my head, then you were thrown out a window."

Say, "Yeah, you were too, or are shortcuts the only skill you know?" Then walk away and smile.

You can respond with "I would most likely go to hell, but with you here, I'm already there."

You could say, "At least I'm growing up, unlike you, who chooses to be immature."

Tell them "Oh sorry, I think I accidentally used your perfume." I used that one a couple of times and it worked very well.

You can acknowledge it by saying, "Yes, it's a bad hair day; everyone has them. But maybe you're having a bad hair year." Then, smile and laugh it off.

Say something like, "Oh, I was simply trying to imitate you."

You could respond with, "Wannabes get things done because they're always striving to better themselves," or "At least I'm trying to improve myself, unlike those who think they're perfect." Alternatively, you might say, "Well, you are my inspiration," or "Do I get bonus points for looking like I care what you think?" You can also choose to ignore the comment, laugh, and walk away.

You could respond with a humorous remark to deflect the negativity, such as, "I'm sure 90% of anyone's 'beauty' can be removed with a Kleenex."

You could respond with "You first" or ask, "Why? Because I'm saying things you can't come up with?"

You could say, "Check your nose, I just found it in my business," or "You have a spot on your chin—oops, not there, the third one down." Remember, sometimes it's better to stay silent than to say something you might regret.

You could respond with humor by saying, "That's impressive! I hope my body can keep up with me for as long."

You've won. All he can do is splutter. Turn on your heel and walk away satisfied, with dignity. You could even wipe your hands as you leave, as a display of being done and dusted with him.

Say, ''Trash is supposed to smell. You know. Like you.'' How you say it is what will really hurt, so say it calmly. Say it in a way a teacher would say when explaining something to a kid in class.

You could respond by saying, "I appreciate your observation, but I focus on staying healthy."

You should report the incident to a teacher or authority figure, as making racist comments is inappropriate and can lead to disciplinary action. It's important not to let such comments affect your self-esteem, as they often stem from the other person's own insecurities or prejudices.

You could reply, "I appreciate your concern, but I'm comfortable with my hair." You might also choose to walk away calmly, showing that their comment doesn't affect you.

No, it's not advisable to mention sensitive topics in arguments, especially with people you care about, as it can lead to explosive and potentially irreparable conflicts.

Are they really your friends? Don't waste your time if they aren't. If you want a comeback, just say "Further proof that sarcasm is a byproduct of immaturity. Oops!" Then walk away.

Say "I know who I like and I know who I don't like, you." Or you can say "keep writing that make believe story of yours, maybe someday you'll get the booker's prize." and turn your back and walk away, brush your hands together like you are finished with them.

"Look who's talking" is a pretty good option.

Say, "Earth already has enough small minded people, go home," and walk away like a boss.

You could respond by saying, "I'm unique, just like everyone else. If that makes me a freak, then we all are," or "I'd rather be a freak than display poor manners like you."

A strong comeback could be, "You don't know anything about my mom, so let's leave her out of this."

You could respond with humor by saying, "When did we become friends?" or "I don't remember accepting your request."

You could say, "I'm surprised you can see it from down there," if they're short, or "I'm sorry to bother you, sir," if they're tall.

You could be like, “An argument is like getting arrested, you know your words can and will be used against you.” Then don’t talk to them at all. Later on in the day, if they get annoyed that you won’t speak, tell them (sarcastically), “I thought you said shut up, I shut up for the whole day and now you’re saying I’m annoying you by not speaking, wow!”

"And why are YOU out of all people telling me this?" Then just smile and walk away.

Your response should depend on the situation. If the person often uses this phrase as a way to manipulate you into paying attention, you might reply, "Okay, I will," and move on. If it's important, they'll clarify later. However, if you have a close relationship with the person, such as being a parent, friend, or spouse, you could say, "I won't forget it, but let's discuss this later when you've had some time to think." Then give them space and revisit the conversation at a more suitable time.

You might say, "I'd rather be poor and hardworking than rich and spoiled."