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Plus, what to bring as a gift to impress him
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Are you nervous about meeting your girlfriend’s father for the first time? Don’t be—just take a few moments to reflect and prepare, and then read our guide ahead on how to impress your girlfriend’s father. We’ll cover everything, from how to dress and what to talk about in a conversation to the best types of gifts you can bring to help win him over (and make your girlfriend happy at the same time).

Best Ways to Impress Your Girlfriend’s Dad

  1. Be presentable by dressing in clean, wrinkle-free clothes.
  2. Keep your phone off or on silent mode.
  3. Greet him warmly with a firm handshake.
  4. Bring a gift to be polite (optional, but a nice touch).
  5. Show an interest in him when having conversations.
  6. Be yourself, but stay respectful of boundaries between you.
  7. Be a good houseguest and offer to help as needed.
Section 1 of 3:

What to Do Before You Meet Him

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  1. When your girlfriend’s father opens the door, the first thing he will notice is how you are dressed. You don’t want to turn up in a sloppy sweatshirt and torn jeans. Even if it is a casual event, do your best to look presentable by dressing to impress . Ensure that your clothes are clean and well-ironed. If you’re wearing shoes, make sure they’re new or in good condition (and are clean). [1]
    • Avoid t-shirts with bold graphics of your favorite band or offensive slogans.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 1307 wikiHow readers to tell us how someone should dress when meeting their girlfriend's parents, and only 6% of them suggested wearing bold clothes that makes a statement . [Take Poll] Readers agree that it's much better to play it safe with a clean, presentable outfit—leave your graphic tees at home!
  2. Learning about what interests your girlfriend’s father offers you more conversation topics to talk about when you meet. You may even discover some common ground you didn’t know existed. Ask your girlfriend about him beforehand, so that you can more easily initiate conversations in the future about topics he enjoys. [2]
    • You don’t have to memorize a script about your girlfriend’s dad; it’s good to know some of his interests, basic facts about his background, and any similarities you both share to make easing into conversation less scary.
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  3. Arriving with a gift is a kind and polite gesture for any houseguest and shows respect. The gift doesn’t have to be super expensive or unique; find out what your girlfriend’s father likes. Bringing a gift for your girlfriend's mother also lets your girlfriend's dad know how thoughtful you can be. [3]
    • If you don't bring a gift to the meeting, consider sending one after as a thank you.
  4. Checking your phone constantly is considered rude during most social engagements, or at the very least a sign of disinterest. If you want to impress her father, stay off your phone while you’re hanging out with the family. [4]
    • People from older generations can be especially critical of this kind of compulsive phone checking; make sure your phone is off or on silent mode.
    • If you do need to take a call, apologize and excuse yourself for a moment (and avoid taking too long when possible).
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Section 2 of 3:

Making a Great First Impression

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  1. Making eye contact , along with having an effective handshake , is a sign of strong character when meeting your girlfriend’s father. When shaking his hand, take his hand firmly in yours and grip tightly (but not too tightly). While making eye contact, be sure to smile in a natural and genuine way. Part of making a good first impression involves your demeanor during the first greeting. You want your girlfriend’s father to feel like you are a friendly person who is easy to get along with after he meets you for the first time. [5]
    • It’s a good idea to address your girlfriend’s dad formally by his last name (for example, Mr. Jones) until he tells you to call him by his first name.
    • It’s ok if you’re nervous when first meeting your girlfriend’s dad—and can even be endearing—but do your best to relax into it. Smile a lot and speak with confidence. [6]
  2. Ask your girlfriend’s father questions about himself and what he has achieved. Listen intently when he’s speaking, continue to make eye contact, and add any well-thought-out comments when you have something worth saying. Ask your girlfriend’s dad follow-up questions when they seem appropriate. Try to avoid any controversial topics like current affairs, politics, or religion when possible. [7]
    • Ask your girlfriend’s dad questions about himself, like “Mr. Rourke, I heard you used to play the drums professionally. Do you still play?” or “Mr. Ronaldo, I’d love to know more about your work with the marine institute. What was your focus when working with them?”
    • Dating coach John Keegan believes that, “ultimately, it's just like you're getting to know any new person. You want to have conversations with them and get to know them beyond being 'my girlfriend's parents.’ Ask the basic questions you would when wanting to get to know anyone, so you can have those conversations easily.” [8]
  3. 3
    Be ready to answer questions about yourself. Prepare a few sentences about yourself and your career or aspirations so you’re not caught off-guard when he asks. Basics he might ask you about include where you’re from, where you went to school, your current job (if applicable), and what you’re looking forward to accomplishing in the future. From there, let the conversation flow naturally; you don’t need to memorize your entire life plan.
    • An example includes, "I'm a software engineer at a small company, and ultimately I'm looking to move to a management role. I visit my parents down south every couple of weekends, and I also love to windsurf."
    • You could also say something like, "I'm not sure what I want to do exactly with my career, but I definitely want to do something creative in the New York theater world. Right now, I'm working on a play with a friend that I'm hoping to get published soon."
  4. A lot of people try to be overly humorous or witty when meeting their girlfriend’s dad, which can often be seen as trying too hard. Being respectful doesn’t mean you have to constantly compliment him. There are many other ways to show your girlfriend’s father respect, like avoiding laid-back postures, having good manners, and being great at conversation. [9]
    • Be on time, especially if you’re arriving alone and your girlfriend will already be there.
    • Limit your alcohol consumption to a minimum or refrain from drinking at all, if you feel more comfortable doing so.
    • Make sure that you say "please," "thank you," or, if applicable, "no, thank you." Good manners are always impressive.
    • Use your manners by calling your girlfriend's dad "Sir" or "Mister."
    • Getting your girlfriend’s dad to trust you also means showing your girlfriend respect in front of him. Dating coach Erika Kaplan notes that “the most important thing is to not put your partner down. Don't be critical of your partner outside of closed doors, and speak highly by stating what in particular you like about her most. I think it's also a matter of being independent enough to show your partner's family that you can stand on your own two feet, and you're with this person for the right reason.” [10]
  5. 5
    Follow house rules and offer to help if you can. Help out while dinner is being prepared by setting the table or pitching in when it’s time to clean up after a meal. Respect any house rules and use common sense when visiting, like not looking in their refrigerator unless you’re asked to, or snooping around. Your girlfriend’s dad (and mom) will appreciate having you as a houseguest if you have good manners throughout the meeting.
    • If you’re staying overnight, abide by the rules if they include you and your girlfriend not sharing the same room; be sure to respect her father’s wishes about overnight guests.
    • It’s helpful to check in with your girlfriend about staying overnight beforehand so you know what the situation will be.
  6. Nothing will turn a father off more than seeing you fondling, kissing, or groping his daughter. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put your arm around her occasionally or hold her hand—just keep the public displays of affection to a minimum around her father.
    • It’s acceptable to give your girlfriend a quick hello or goodbye peck in front of her father.
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Section 3 of 3:

What gifts should I bring when meeting my girlfriend's dad?

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  1. 1
    Bring a gift that relates to his hobbies or interests. Before deciding on gifts for your girlfriend’s dad, talk to your girlfriend about her dad’s favorite hobbies. If he’s into sports, bring him gifts that feature his team’s logo , or if you know he loves to golf, get him a golfing accessory that he might really enjoy. Whatever his interests are, consider them when thinking of the perfect girlfriend’s dad gift. [11]
  2. 2
    Get him something personalized or customized. Whatever you know he’s into (teams, hobbies, interests, likes), get him personalized gifts , like cutting boards , aprons for his role as grillmaster, or a customized photo mug ; you can also personalize gifts with his name or initials. He’ll appreciate the extra effort that you put into your gift, and think positively of you whenever he uses it after meeting you. [12]
  3. 3
    Arrive with a bottle of wine or a treat if you’re not sure what to get. If you find it impossible to choose a gift for your girlfriend’s dad that matches his interests, it’s always considered polite to bring a bottle of wine, a gift basket of treats (like cookies or savory snacks), or flowers when meeting him. Avoid bringing alcohol as a gift if you’re not sure whether he drinks or not, or if you know he has a non-drinking household. [13]
    • If you bring a bottle of wine or liquor, it’s ok to have a glass if he offers it to you; avoid overdrinking in front of him at all costs. If you’re unsure, refrain from drinking anything when you’re with him.
  4. 4
    Include your girlfriend’s mom in the gift (if she’s around). If you’re meeting both of your girlfriend’s parents , bring something they’ll enjoy, or include a small gift for each of them. Something like flowers or wine works when you need a gift that is appropriate for both your girlfriend’s dad and mom, and can set the additional groundwork of impressing your girlfriend’s mother . [14]
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      • Jake

        Jul 2, 2018

        "Met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. Tried some techniques and seemed just as confident as I am when I ..." more
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