How to Turn Your Boyfriend On: A Steamy Guide to Teasing & Touching

PDF download Download Article
Pro relationship experts share how to make yourself irresistible
PDF download Download Article

Looking to get your guy’s motor going? Turning on your boyfriend doesn’t have to be a mystery. With the right moves, you can drive him wild while having your own fun! We talked to relationship coaches and therapists to bring you the hottest tips when it comes to teasing him , touching him , and making the bedroom more exciting .

How do you turn your man on?

Dating and relationship coach Mark Rosenfeld suggests catching his attention with 3-4 seconds of flirty eye contact. Add a lip bit to make sure he knows you want him, or try some of these turn-on tactics:

  1. Use suggestive body language like licking your lips to tease him.
  2. Whisper something spicy in his ear to drive him wild.
  3. Tell him what you want him to do to get his imagination running.
  4. Give him light touches and caresses.
  5. Ask him if there’s anything he wants to try.
  6. Wear perfume to get all of his senses working.
  7. Wear sexy clothing to tempt him.
Section 1 of 3:

Teasing Him to Get Him Aroused

PDF download Download Article
  1. Research shows that many scents and fragrances can turn a guy on . [1] If you know he likes a certain scent, like if he’s commented on it before, give yourself a spray to get him going. If you’re not sure, though, a sexy, musky scent is a safe bet, as these scents tend to be more animalic, like the scent of bodies getting to work.
    • Avoid overly strong perfumes or perfumes with an "old lady" scent, like lavenders or florals, as these can be a little stuffy.
    • Make sure you apply the perfume correctly! A quick spritz on the wrist and neck is usually enough. Or, spray it in the air in front of you, then walk through the mist.

    Meet the wikiHow Experts

    Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach based in Norman Park, Australia, who specializes in helping women find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships.

    Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT , is a Licensed Relationship Therapist based in Denver, Colorado, who specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration.

    Elvina Lui, MFT , is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling with over 13 years of experience.

  2. Eye contact is intense, and it’s a classic way to flirt and signal to your partner that you’re ready to move to the bedroom. Rosenfeld says to “hold it for three to four seconds” and to “add a smile” for the best effect. [2] Once you catch his eye , bat your lashes a few times and give him a small grin until he takes the hint.
    • If you’d rather keep teasing him a little, look away while slowly blinking to make him intrigued while the two of you do something else, like enjoy dinner.
    Advertisement
  3. Rosenfeld tells us that subtle body language is also a great tool. [3] Use your body language to put ideas in his head. For example, sensually lick an ice cream while you're out on a date. Run your hand up and down the top of your thigh while you're sitting together on the couch. Bend over dramatically to pick something up off the ground. Sensually lick your lips, or lift your shirt a little to show him a hint of skin.
    • Get creative! Even if you feel silly, or he takes it like a joke, that lighthearted vibe can set a fun, flirty tone.
  4. Rosenfeld suggests using verbal signals to show your attraction. [4] A great way to do this is to lean in close and say something a little dirty in his ear. Nothing too explicit or shocking, but just tempting enough to make him take the lead. Place your lips right next to his ear and use a sultry voice to tease him. It’ll drive him wild, guaranteed.
    • Try something like "So now what do you want to do?", "You are such a tease", "What do you want me to do to you?", etc. (You get the gist.)
    • Saying his name in a sultry voice also does the trick! Guys can’t resist it.
    • If you’re not in the same room, send him a spicy text . Just make sure it’s totally private, and start with “Only open this when you’re alone…”
  5. You don’t need to get naked to turn a guy on. Often, showing just a little hint of skin in the right places is all it takes. [5] To dress seductively , show your midriff, wear short shorts or tight shirts, or just wear clothes that fit you perfectly. This way, you’re not even doing anything to actively turn him on—you’ll drive him wild right when he sees you.
    • Sometimes, it’s also about the clothing that you show, not the skin. For example, letting your underwear peek just above your waistband is a super sexy touch.
  6. Often, guys respond to just being told that you’re ready to romp. [6] It lets him know that he’s doing something right, and like licensed relationship therapist Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT, tells us, that kind of validation can be intoxicating. [7] If he knows you're turned on, that's going to turn him on more than anything else. If he touches you in just the right way or says something that drives you wild, tell him.
    • Try, "God, I want you right now," or, "I cannot stop thinking about what I want you to do to me."
    • Even if he’s not around, send him a spicy text to rile him up, no matter where he is. You might say, “When can I see you? I need you,” or, “You can only imagine the things I’d do to you if you were here with me.”
    7. Advertisement
Section 2 of 3:

Using Physical Touch to Turn On Your Boyfriend

PDF download Download Article
  1. Small, strategic, sexy touches can really make him melt. [8] Rosenfeld agrees! [9] Run your finger up and down his arm, or run your hand up and down his thigh while you're watching that movie on the couch. When you touch him a little, pretty soon he’s gonna be begging for much more. Just remember to use light touches and firm touches appropriately and try to stick to sensitive areas (back of the neck, jawline, arms, upper chest, lower back, etc).
    • Also, remember that consent is a must. Ask him before you touch him—it’ll just turn him on more.
  2. It’s hard to beat a sensual massage . Ask him to take off his shirt and lie on his stomach in a dim room. Light some candles and play some soft music. Straddle his waist, then use your hands to rub his back, neck, and arms. As you work, move your hands lower and lower until you’ve got him right where you want him.
    • To make it even sexier, make it a nude massage.
    • Use massage oil to get things slick and slippery, making it even more sensual.
  3. Relationship therapist Elvina Lui, MFT, tells us that “bonding and affection” are big parts of sensuality. [10] Sometimes, a romantic and spontaneous moment is a bigger turn-on than just taking off your clothes. Next time you’re home together, put on some slow music and pull him into a surprise slow dance .
    • Enjoy the moment, but when you’re ready for the next step, caress his back, whisper something sexy in his ear, and pull him into the bedroom.
  4. Taking charge of the situation will really turn him on, and telling him exactly what you want is a great way to start the fun. [11] Take his hands and place them on your body where you want to be touched while you pull him into a deep, passionate kiss . Knowing that you want him will make him want you so much more.
  5. Kisses are nice, but using just a little teeth really spices up the moment and shows him that you want something more. A little nibble on the ear, his lip, even his tongue; show him that you want to just eat him up. The sensations will turn him on and get him thinking about where else he'd like you to be licking and tasting.
    • Be gentle! At least, be gentle at first. As things get rolling, gradually up the intensity. Remember, the aim is to excite, not to injure. Practice biting your own tongue or lip to see how much pressure is too much.
  6. Just like using your teeth, using your tongue is a classic way to turn on almost any guy. Start with a kiss, then slip your tongue into his mouth. As things get more intense, use your tongue on other parts of his body—his jaw, neck, chest, stomach. Work your way down! It gives him a little preview of what’s to come later.
    7. Advertisement
Section 3 of 3:

Upping the Intensity

PDF download Download Article
  1. You don’t have to be a professional erotic dancer to give him a good time. Stripping is all about taking your time and enjoying yourself. Boudoir photographer Reina LeGrand says to put on layers that you can take off, and to wear something that makes you feel sexy and confident. [12] Sit him on a chair and put on some music you enjoy, then move to the rhythm while you slowly take off your layers. For added teasing, tell him he can’t touch and that you call the shots.
    • Straddle his lap, caress his chest, and run your hands up and down your own body. You’re not just putting on a show; you’re admiring your own body, too.
    • When you’re nude, start taking off his clothes, too!
  2. It’s normal for sex to get a little stale if you’re only doing one or two positions. New positions can introduce new feelings and experiences, and enhance the pleasure for both of you. [13] Ask him if there’s a move he’s ever wanted to try, or even if he’s ever wanted to do it in a particular location.
    • For added fun, consider watching porn together to get new ideas. Experts say that this is a great way to bond with your partner and explore your sexualities together. [14]
  3. Sex toys are a great way to spice up the bedroom, and they’re not just for women! [15] If you're new to using toys, get just a small, cordless vibrator (a really basic one, usually about the size of an egg). Run it around his equipment during intercourse, and he'll just about explode.
  4. Whether you’re winding up or cooling down, a steamy shower together gives you some intimate alone time. Lather up and wash each other off, and don’t be afraid to do a little more than that, too. Just don’t get too intense in there—it’s slippery and a little dangerous. If you’re gonna be rocking the boat, step outside and towel off first.
  5. Role playing in the bedroom is a great way to mix things up, try new things, and have a blast with your partner. Give him the chance to choose a fantasy to play out or surprise him with a fully prepared scenario, costumes and all. Love and relationship coach Nicole Moore says to ask him who he wants to be, or to pretend that you’re strangers who are meeting for the first time, making up characters that help fulfill your fantasies. [16]
    • Try to choose something that appeals to him. Comic books, movies, school-related fantasies, video games: you know your man best.
  6. A little kink never hurt anyone, as long as they remember their safe words! Sex and intimacy coach Shelby Devlin, MA, suggests talking to him about both your desires and curiosities, and having open communication about them. [17] Be honest and open-minded, but also be clear about your own desires and boundaries. That way, you can stay safe while you explore new sexual horizons.
    • Letting him choose a kink he wants to explore can be a huge turn-on for him. It shows him that he doesn't have to be ashamed or uncomfortable around you, which will really turn him on.
    7. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    How can I make him miss me badly?
    Mark Rosenfeld
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach based in Norman Park, Australia. He founded his coaching business, Make Him Yours, in 2015. Mark specializes in helping women find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon upon its release.
    Mark Rosenfeld
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    It's less about what you say and more about what you do. Take time to respect yourself and have your own life instead of trying to get his attention. Trust that the energy in your interactions makes you so attractive that all you need to do is move that energy away by doing your own thing.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 46 Helpful 113
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Video

      Reader Videos

      Tips

      • Turning him on doesn't necessarily have to lead to intercourse. Plan on arriving at a happy ending that suits you both.
        Thanks
        Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
      • Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Stay safe and communicate clearly and often.
        Thanks
        Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
      • Consent is a must. If he says no, don’t take it personally. And if things start heating up and he decides to change his mind, that is his decision that you must respect.
        Thanks
        Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • Be confident—guys love a confident girl. Also, you can tease him a bit, such as leaning in for a kiss and then pulling away as soon as your lips make contact with his. You might also say something sexy, such as "Do you really think you will get a kiss that easily?" It's even better if you whisper it directly in his ear.
      • Even if you’re having relatively “vanilla” sex, safewords do have value, especially if you are worried that words such as "stop" may not register with your partner because they are in a different headspace.
      • Sometimes guys get lost and can't tell for sure if you're ready or not. For this reason, he'll love it when you take control. Then he'll know exactly what you want.
      • If you're sitting alone on the couch, cuddle up to him. Then take his hand and put it on your chest. This small gesture will have him all over you in minutes.
      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
      Advertisement

      You Might Also Like

      17 Mind-Blowing Ways to Turn Your Partner On Tonight
      170+ Deep, Heartfelt & Passionate Love Messages to Send Your Guy
      How to
      Make Your Girlfriend Want to Have Sex With You
      How to
      Turn a Girl On
      How to
      Prepare for Your First Time for Guys
      150+ Romantic & Funny Questions to Make Your Boyfriend Laugh
      45 Sweet Paragraphs That’ll Make Your Girlfriend Cry
      How to
      Turn On Your Girlfriend
      28 Funny Jokes to Tell Your Girlfriend
      How to
      Kiss Your Boyfriend to Make Him Crazy
      How to
      Tell if Someone Has a Dating Profile
      How to
      Create Sexual Tension
      50+ Conversation, Board, and Video Games to Play with Your Girlfriend
      How to
      Tell if Your Boyfriend Is Gay
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://aanos.org/human-male-sexual-response-to-olfactory-stimuli/
      2. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
      3. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
      4. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
      5. ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/382837850_Revealing_Clothing
      6. ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/when-urge-is-uneven-understanding-universe-of-sexual-desire-0206185
      7. ↑ Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT. Licensed Relationship Therapist. Expert Interview
      8. ↑ https://www.smsna.org/patients/did-you-know/what-is-sensate-focus-and-how-does-it-work
      9. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
      1. ↑ Elvina Lui, MFT. Relationship Expert. Expert Interview
      2. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/tips-to-improve-your-sex-life
      3. ↑ Reina LeGrand. Boudoir Photographer. Expert Interview
      4. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/tips-to-improve-your-sex-life
      5. ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2014/04/pornography
      6. ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sex-pleasure-and-sexual-dysfunction/sex-and-pleasure/sex-toys
      7. ↑ Nicole Moore. Love & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
      8. ↑ Shelby Devlin, MA. Sex & Intimacy Coach. Expert Interview

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      If you want to turn on your boyfriend, try lightly touching him in sensitive areas, like his chest, his arms, and the back of his neck. You can also try whispering something in his ear, like "I can't stop thinking about you." If you're feeling bold, ask him to take his shirt off so you can give him a massage. Once you have his attention, try taking his hands and putting them where you want them. For other ways you can turn your boyfriend on, like using role-play, scroll down!

      Did this summary help you?
      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 3,852,262 times.

      Reader Success Stories

      • Alison Carmicheal

        Jun 11, 2018

        "What a great article, it has opened up my eyes to more fun things in life that are simple to make my husband more ..." more
      More reader stories Hide reader stories
      Share your story
      If you buy through links on our site, we may earn a commission .

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement