Finding toys everywhere these days? It’s almost a fact that kids don’t like to clean or do chores, and if your kids refuse to clean up after themselves, things can quickly start getting tense. However, teaching your kids to clean doesn't have to be a battle every time. You can learn to teach your kids how to clean and how to avoid fights about cleaning.
Steps
Part 1
Part 1 of 2:
Teaching Cleaning Skills
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Start when they're young. All good habits take time to develop, and helping children learn to participate in household tasks is no exception. The earlier you start teaching them basic cleaning skills, the better it will be for them.
- If your child is toilet-trained, they're old enough to learn to put away their things and to keep their toys straight. They're not ready to do the dishes yet, but they're ready to learn to put their own toys away.
- Consider enrolling your child in daycare or pre-school when they're old enough. These schools teach basic clean-up skills that you can build on at home.
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Give them a series of small tasks instead of one large job. Engage children in small tasks related to putting their toys away at first, to build the foundations for doing chores. Show your child where their toys go and tell them to put the toy there when they're finished with it. It's easier to teach a child to put away a toy after using it, than to teach a child to clean up a room that's become a total disaster area.
- Make sure you have a specific place for everything. If your child doesn't know where something goes, it will be hard to clean. Create special bins for stuffed animals, Legos or doll clothes, for example, and help small children understand that there is a place where their toys can rest when not being used.
- A token system can be extremely useful in motivating your child to do chores. For example, you could give them five tokens for doing a small task. After earning enough tokens, the kid can use a tablet or the TV for five more minutes.
- Molding the desired behaviors gradually will help you teach your children to do tasks on their own over time.
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Establish some basic rules. If your child doesn't bring their clothes into the laundry room, let it be known that they won't get washed. This way, they will either get the clothes where they need to be on time, or learn to wash themselves. Keep the task and the consequences for not doing the task clear and as simple as possible.
- Don't do it for them. If your child leaves toys laying around on the floor, you might be tempted to just pick it up and put it away for them instead of talking to them about it. Take the time to make this a teachable moment and go over the process with them again. Give your child a chance to get it right.
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Show them the basics. Don't assume your child knows how to wash windows, or do the dishes correctly before you teach them. If you want your child to do some task, take plenty of time show them how you want it done, and expect that they won't get it right the first few times. Praise their efforts, and be patient.
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Gradually introduce more household chores. Once kids have the basics of keeping their toys and belongings straight, you can start gradually adding "special" jobs to the list. Give kids special responsibilities like setting the table, taking out the garbage, and helping unload groceries. This keeps them involved in the participatory cycle of domestic maintenance.
- If you're having trouble convincing your child to help out, try offering some options. For example, you could say something like, "You can clean your room or you can help me wash the shirts". This sense of choice and independence usually works wonders in avoiding fights and complaints from the little ones.
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Consider adding some money into the mix. As children get older, bigger jobs like mowing the lawn or washing the windows might come with certain dollar values attached. This can give them the option to earn cash for personal spending, especially if they are too young to work.
- Ideally, you want to create a system in which children can feel the satisfaction of doing something productive and feeling good about it. There needs to be some positive feeling for doing the chores correctly, even if it's just living in a clean household. Praise them for doing things right, if you're not going to pay for more significant chores.
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Part 2
Part 2 of 2:
Avoiding Cleaning Fights
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Explain the logic of cleaning to your children. Cleaning and keeping your home livable is an important part of living with people. Somebody has to do those dishes, pick up those toys, and do the laundry, or the house will just turn into chaos. You can't do everything. Tell your children why it's important to clean, and make sure they understand the process.
- Again, it's important to establish that cleaning isn't a punishment for doing something wrong, it's just a necessary part of life. Make it seem fun and normal instead of grim.
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Make cleaning fun. Opening up the house for a spring cleaning? Blast some music, throw on a monster movie marathon, and have fun while you do it. Find some way of making cleaning fun and like a nice family activity, rather than a depressing waste of time. Avoid yelling at your kids, as this will definitely contribute to making cleaning a negative thing.
- Treat everyone to an ice cream or a snack after you finish cleaning for the day. Celebrate a job well done together. If you have something to look forward to, it'll be a lot more enjoyable.
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Give them some freedom. In your house, once you've laid some basic ground rules, you might be able to change some things. If you have teens, maybe it's ok for their bedrooms to be as disastrous as they want. They are teenagers and need to have some space that is their own.
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Don't make it a punishment unless you need to. Instead of making it a battleground related to tasks, involve your children from a young age in the matter-of-fact routine of living in a household. Cleaning should be a responsibility that they understand, not an arbitrary punishment that they're forced into.
- As they mature, you might set up natural consequences if your child fails to do chores. For example, if a teenager leaves their stuff lying around the main living area, put it in a box for a week, then in the garage, and eventually give it to charity if they don't want to put it away.
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Stay calm, empathic and business-like in your approach. Nagging or threatening creates an antagonistic dynamic and is not effective nor sustainable. Kids mimic the behavior, language, and attitude of their parents, so if you want them to have a good attitude about cleaning you should have one yourself. Cleaning shouldn't have to be a big fight all the time.
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Help out. Your child is much more likely to stay on task if you talk to them while they clean. Use it as an opportunity to spend quality time together, tidying up quickly. Practice what you preach by pitching in and cleaning in the trenches with your kids.
- Decide whether or not your family will focus on cleaning up "your" mess or just cleaning up mess in general. It may not be important to distinguish between them, but it may be an effective cleaning teaching tool to do so.
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Tips
- Don't yell unless things really get out of hand. Kids hate it when their parents yell at them.Thanks
- Give a lot of praise. Almost all kids, no matter how old they are, enjoy hearing what a fantastic job they did.Thanks
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