Whether you’re hoping for a first kiss after a fun date or are trying to find a private make-out spot away from parents or roommates, a car can be an ideal place for smooching. But it’s important to make sure you’re both comfortable, given the tight, sometimes awkward space. We talked to dating coaches Eddy Baller and Michele Fields to help you go in for a kiss inside a car, move into a more passionate makeout session if the vibe is right, and set a romantic mood behind the wheel. Keep scrolling to learn more!
Making Out in a Car: Overview
Dating coach Eddy Baller says to chat and flirt a bit first to build up romantic tension. Park somewhere private and secluded so you won’t be bothered. When the moment comes, put your arm around their seat and lean in. Move to the back seat if things escalate, and remember to keep your car clean and comfortable.
Steps
Going in for a Simple Kiss
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Unbuckle your seatbelt and lean toward your partner. Make sure you’re free to move around. Cars are pretty cramped places, but if you play your cards right, that just makes the moment more intimate. To help move around, unbuckle your seatbelt (make sure you’re parked first!), and your partner will probably do the same. Then, shift in your seat so that you’re facing them, and lean toward them a little to signal that you want to get closer. [1] X Research source
- Casually lean on the center console or on the steering wheel. The more relaxed you look and feel, the more relaxed your partner will be.
- If you’re feeling a little bold, put your arm around the back of their seat or their seat’s headrest.
- If this is a date, it’s best to save the kiss for the last moment, like when you’re about to part, so that you both have something to think about and the date ends on a high note.
Meet the wikiHow Experts
Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and owner of a dating service, Conquer and Win. He specializes in confidence-building, advanced social and communication skills, and building meaningful relationships.
Michele Fields is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and owner of Bon Jour Matchmaking. With over thirty years of experience, she helps others meet people and navigate dating and relationships.
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Flirt with your partner to set the mood and hint at a kiss. Baller tells us to “build up to the moment” before going in. [2] X Expert Source Eddy Baller
Dating Coach Expert Interview Start by joking around or gently flirting with your partner to set the mood. Make eye contact , lean slightly toward them, and turn your body in your seat to face them so they know they have your attention. [3] X Research source And take note of how they respond! If they seem hesitant or nervous, take it slow and don’t pressure them. It’s important that you’re both comfortable.- Give them a polite, intimate compliment , like, “Your smile makes me feel so warm inside,” or, “I really feel so comfortable with you.”
- Ask your partner questions, like if they’ve traveled anywhere or what their dreams are. Everyone likes to talk about themselves, and trying to learn more about your partner’s life, hobbies, or thoughts signals that you’re interested.
- Try telling your partner something positive about themselves or about the time you just shared together, such as "I really had a good time with you tonight, and I'd be interested in hanging out with you again!"
- Reader Poll: We asked 638 wikiHow readers if they like to kiss on the first date, and 48% of them responded yes . [Take Poll]
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Touch your partner’s arm or hand in a light, playful way. “Start with a little bit of light physical contact,” Baller suggests. [4] X Expert Source Eddy Baller
Dating Coach Expert Interview Some physical touch with your partner helps remove barriers between the two of you, allows you to gauge their interest, and may help both of you feel more comfortable. Keep things non-sexual for now to make sure your touch isn’t coming across as creepy and unwelcome.- For example, you might ask if you can brush something off their face, hold their hand, or gently brush their arm.
- Always ask before you touch someone for the first time! This helps build trust and comfort.
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Look for positive body language before you go further. Baller says that if they’re not comfortable with your small touches, they won’t be comfortable with kissing. If your partner seems relaxed, is leaning towards you, and is making eye contact, this might be a sign that they’re interested. [5] X Expert Source Eddy Baller
Dating Coach Expert Interview But if they’re crossing their arms, fidgeting, or checking the clock, don’t try for a kiss—it’s best to wait until they’re more comfortable with you, like on another date.- See if your date is facing you with an open and relaxed posture. This can be a good sign that they feel comfortable with you.
- Also, if they’re leaning away from you or making themself small, that’s a sign to ease up on the pressure.
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Ask for a kiss to make sure you have consent. Consent is a must, and verbal consent is the gold standard. Fields says that people love it when they’re asked for a kiss. [6] X Expert Source Michele Fields
Matchmaker & Dating Coach Expert Interview It’s not just polite, it’s super romantic! Tell your partner that you’re interested in them, or that you had a nice time with them, and then ask, “Would you be comfortable with a kiss?” or, “Is it okay if I kiss you?” [7] X Research source- Don’t try to kiss someone out of the blue or with no warning—build towards the moment gradually.
- Let them know that you’re okay if they say no. Say, “No pressure, and no hurt feelings if you don’t want to.”
- If they do say no, no big deal! Thank them for their honesty—it means they’re comfortable enough to say how they feel.
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Reach across their shoulders or gently cup their chin to start the kiss. Baller says that gently holding their chin is a great move, and that holding their shoulder is also pretty smooth. [8] X Expert Source Eddy Baller
Dating Coach Expert Interview Reaching across their shoulders brings you closer together in a tight space, and keeps building to the big moment.- Or, place your hand on their thigh, or start by kissing the back of their hand. These little touches go a long way.
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Seal the deal by leaning in for the kiss. Then, Baller tells us to go in for the big moment. [9] X Expert Source Eddy Baller
Dating Coach Expert Interview Face your partner, pucker your mouth a little, close your eyes, and plant a kiss on your partner’s lips. Linger on their lips for about 5 seconds, then pull away. If it went well, go in for another. A second kiss shows them that you enjoyed it, and just can’t help yourself.- After, draw back and smile, then thank them by saying, “That was everything I wanted it to be. Thanks for that.” Linger near their face for a moment to let them kiss you again, if they want.
- Then, part ways and tell them you look forward to seeing them again. Or, if the date’s not over, transition to a more casual vibe by asking them another question about themself.
- A quick kiss is best on the first date, and leaves them wanting more. If this isn’t your first kiss with them, though, and you want to up the intensity, check out the next section .
EXPERT TIPDating CoachEddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence-building, advanced social and communication skills, and building meaningful relationships. He offers in-person, 1:1 coaching for men where they can meet women and get live feedback. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve.Match your partner’s energy and movements. You want to fit together nicely like yin and yang. You don’t want to be doing anything that is physically uncomfortable where you're not locked together in a comfortable way that makes sense.
Getting More Intense with a Car Kiss
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Check that your partner is comfortable with what you have in mind. Baller reminds us that it’s important to make sure your partner wants what you want. [10] X Expert Source Eddy Baller
Dating Coach Expert Interview The easiest way to see if your partner is on the same page is to ask first! You need to check both that your partner is interested in getting more physical with you and that they're comfortable with doing so in a car, which isn’t always the most typical place for some romantic fun.- You should definitely have had some sort of basic physical contact, such as light kissing or hand-holding, before initiating a make-out session. If you haven’t kissed them before, check out the first section of this article to help you lead into a more intense makeout session.
- You can see how your partner feels about getting more physical by saying something like, "I would love to find a more private place to kiss you. Would you like that?" [11] X Research source Or, say, “Do you want to move to the back and do that again?”
- Tell your partner where you're planning on taking them before you drive to a more remote area. It may be tempting to keep it a surprise to make it feel more romantic, but you may end up killing the mood instead, as some people may be worried for their safety if you unexpectedly drive to an area where no one else can see you.
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Make sure you’re parked in a safe, secluded area. Find a legal and isolated place to park, and make sure your parking brake is on, if you’re on a slope. [12] X Research source If it's dark outside, turn your headlights off to make you and your partner less noticeable. It’s usually best when nobody outside the car can see you, so you won’t be watched or interrupted partway through your romantic moment.
- Some great places to park include quiet country roads, campsites outside the city, or department store parking lots that aren’t too lit up.
- Kissing in public is not against the law in most places, but if you want to escalate things beyond kissing, you may need to move to a more private spot indoors. If an act is illegal in public, then it’s illegal to do in a car that’s parked in a public spot. [13] X Research source
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Build up the passion with flirting and light, romantic touches. Once you’re in a safe place, it’s time to lay on the charm. Baller suggests giving them a romantic compliment, like, “It’s really nice to be alone with you like this.” He also suggests you give them a light physical touch, such as putting your hand on your partner's knee or holding their face lightly in your hand. [14] X Expert Source Eddy Baller
Dating Coach Expert Interview These tender touches set the mood and let your partner know what’s coming. Easing into things is always a good idea—don’t just skip straight to the kiss.- Again, consent is a must! Always ask your partner before you touch them.
- If you’ve already kissed them once and built up tension and passion, there’s no need to go back to flirting. Just keep moving forward, as long as your partner is comfortable.
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Start with light kissing, and build from there. Fields reminds us to ask before we go in for the kiss. [15] X Expert Source Michele Fields
Matchmaker & Dating Coach Expert Interview Wait for a moment when your partner is looking into your eyes, then say, “Can I kiss you?” If they agree, put your arm around their seat or their shoulder and lean over and kiss them on the lips . Start slowly, by keeping the kiss light, touching safe areas like their face or shoulder, and changing positions slowly. Build the kiss gradually by slowly escalating your touches and only proceeding if your partner is enthusiastically responding.- Make a car kiss more comfortable by shifting your body to face them, and leaning your elbow on the center console between you. Looping your arm behind their seat or around their shoulders also helps with this.
- Keep the kiss interesting by occasionally breaking apart to look into your partner's eyes or ask them if they like what you're doing. Every once in a while, move your hands to a new location, such as their hair, neck, hands, or leg.
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Adjust your position if the kiss continues to escalate. You may need to ask your partner to hold on for a second and make some minor adjustments. You might lean your seat down and move it back, then invite your partner to join you in the same seat. Or, ask them if they're interested in moving to the back seat. This gives you more room to move around and get passionate. [16] X Research source
- The passenger seat often offers the most room, since there’s no steering wheel or driving pedals to get in the way.
- Move the front seats forward if you’re going to hop in the back of the car. Try to make as much room as possible for you and your partner by sliding the seats up and flattening the backseat down into the trunk, if possible.
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Check in with your partner often to make sure they’re comfortable. It can be hard to get physically comfortable when making out in a car, and you may have to adjust frequently. Furthermore, you should make sure your partner is feeling good about how far and how fast things are progressing. [17] X Research source When in doubt, simply saying, “Is this alright?” is a romantic, simple way to keep things on track.
- Get verbal consent by telling your partner what you want to do before you do it. For example, as you're kissing, tell your partner something like, "I'm going to slide my hand under your shirt," and wait for them to tell you yes or give you a non-verbal sign, like kissing you more enthusiastically. [18] X Research source
- Pay attention to your partner's body language . Anytime you escalate your physical touch, read your partner's reaction. If they lean in closer or touch you back in the same way, that's a good sign that they like what you are doing.
- If your partner moves backwards, stops what they're doing, or doesn't give you much of a response back, then pull back, as these are all physical ways of giving someone a "no."
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Use protection and go slowly if you move beyond a kiss. If kissing turns into sex , treat it like any other hookup and take all the necessary precautions. Use a condom , ask for consent, and make sure you know both your and your partner’s STD status. And go slowly! Car sex can be tight, so it’s best to ease into it. This helps both of you enjoy it and makes sure you’re both comfortable.
- Remember that having sex in a public place is often a crime. [19] X Research source If possible, park on your own private property, and do your best to remain unseen by outsiders.
Setting the Mood in Your Car
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Clean up your car and get rid of any trash to avoid killing the mood. It’s hard to enjoy a romantic moment if your surroundings are dirty or smelly. Before the date, take some time to clean up your car . Make sure the seats where you and your partner will be sitting are clean and clutter-free. Remove food wrappers, trash, worn clothes, or anything else that might smell bad. [20] X Trustworthy Source Consumer Reports Nonprofit organization dedicated to consumer advocacy and product testing Go to source
- Run a vacuum over the seats if they’re dirty. Most car washes and some gas stations have vacuum cleaners you can use on your car.
- If you’re worried about smells, hang up an air freshener or spritz some odor-eliminating spray in your car.
- Wipe down the dashboard and door handles by the passenger seat, and remove any trash or clutter that might be sitting in compartments in the side door.
- If you want to really make a good impression, take your car through a car wash before picking up your partner.
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Put on relaxing music to set the mood. Playing fun, lighthearted, or sexy music can help your partner feel more comfortable and can make any silence less awkward. It’s a huge tool for setting the mood. [21] X Research source If you happen to know your partner’s favorite band or genre, put that on to help them feel even more relaxed. [22] X Research source
- If you don’t know what music they like, go for something slow and easy to listen to, like R&B or even jazz.
- Make a romantic playlist ahead of time so you’re not fumbling too much with your phone or the radio while you’re trying to seduce someone.
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Go for a scenic drive to settle into the romantic mood. Baller says that some casual conversation before a kiss is a great idea. [23] X Expert Source Eddy Baller
Dating Coach Expert Interview And there’s no more romantic time to talk than taking a scenic drive. Get outside of town, or cruise past your favorite landmarks. Talk about your favorite places and your memories, and ask about your partner’s favorite places. This helps you grow closer together and bond a little before you kiss. -
Adjust the temperature to make sure your partner is comfortable. Temperature can play a big role in how romantic a moment is. [24] X Research source Keep your car not too hot, but not too cold—a comfortable in-between. If you’re going to be moving around a lot, though, turn up the AC a little to keep you both cool.
- If you want to cool down the car, ask your partner whether they prefer the windows or air conditioning, as some people might prefer fresh air, while others might not like too much wind from outside.
- Just be conscious of your car battery, and turn it off after 10-20 minutes, so you don’t drain it completely.
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Find a scenic or secluded place to park the car. Drive to your favorite nearby spot, or suggest your partner take you to a place with a view. At the very least, find somewhere that’s slightly hidden. [25] X Research source Having a romantic scene outside the windows, like a mountain view, or a view of the city below, can really set the mood and give you something to look at while you’re building up to the kiss.
- Don’t park under a streetlamp, or in your partner’s brightly-lit driveway where parents might see.
- Make sure you’re allowed to be parked in your spot. For example, a lot of parks close at sunset and you could get in trouble for trespassing if you park your car there. [26] X Research source
Avoid Awkward Kisses with this Expert Series
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow should I go in for a kiss if we're in a car?Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence-building, advanced social and communication skills, and building meaningful relationships. He offers in-person, 1:1 coaching for men where they can meet women and get live feedback. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve.Wait until you're stopped and check for signs that they're interested, such as making eye contact or lightly caressing each other.
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QuestionHow do you signal a kiss?Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence-building, advanced social and communication skills, and building meaningful relationships. He offers in-person, 1:1 coaching for men where they can meet women and get live feedback. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve.Start by making eye contact with your partner. If the car is stopped, turn your body so that you're facing them. Keep making eye contact and focus all of your attention on person you want to kiss. Lean toward them and see if they lean toward you.
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Tips
- Keep some gum in your car for yourself or to offer your partner, in case either of you is worried about bad breath.Thanks
- You have less room to move around in a car, which can sometimes make kissing awkward. Consider opening your partner’s car door for them or walking your partner to the door of their house if you’d rather share a kiss while directly facing each other.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://socialcommunication.truman.edu/attitudes-emotions/flirting/
- ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/201203/how-flirt-without-it-seeming-youre-flirting
- ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ Michele Fields. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/advice/a9171/how-to-kiss-well/
- ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/consent-how-to
- ↑ http://www.nwcg.gov/6mfs/vehicles-roads/parking-safely-on-slopes
- ↑ https://www.citylab.com/life/2015/09/how-to-hook-up-in-public/407392/
- ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ Michele Fields. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/5-tips-for-hooking-up-in-a-car
- ↑ https://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/publications/2019-12/YourConsentGuide2020_Final508.pdf
- ↑ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/consent-how-to
- ↑ https://helpingsurvivors.org/indecent-exposure/
- ↑ https://www.consumerreports.org/cars/car-maintenance/how-to-clean-your-cars-interior-a8146415264/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/201302/can-romantic-noises-enhance-romantic-relationships
- ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/5-tips-for-hooking-up-in-a-car
- ↑ Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-lies-and-conflict/201705/you-are-hot-the-strange-link-between-body-heat-and-love
- ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/5-tips-for-hooking-up-in-a-car
- ↑ https://www.citylab.com/life/2015/09/how-to-hook-up-in-public/407392/
About This Article
To kiss in a car, make sure you park in a secluded area so no one will see you. Flirt with your partner a bit by teasing them, touching their arm or hand, or tickling them. You can also put on some relaxing music to set the mood. When your partner leans towards you and makes eye contact with you, lean in and kiss them. If you need more space while you're kissing, take off your seatbelts and move your seats back. Or, move the seats forward and sit in the back so you don't have the gearshift between you. For more tips, including how to kiss someone for the first time in a car, read on!