How to Tell Jokes Like a Professional Comedian (with Examples)

The secret to telling good jokes on the fly

Co-authored by Manuel Garavito and Aly Rusciano

Last Updated: September 3, 2025 Fact Checked

Nothing feels better than laughing over a good joke with your friends. There are so many ways to get a laugh, but sometimes, it can be hard to pick the right joke for the setting and audience. Luckily, there are plenty of formulas and archetypes you can pull out that are sure to please anyone! If you’re looking to expand your joke-telling prowess or you’re digging for a fresh take on an old joke, you’re in the right place.

Secrets to Telling a Good Joke

Use a goofy pun or observational joke for easy laughs. For example, you could say “Jokes about steak are a medium rarely done well” or “Why is it called ‘deodorant’ when it should be called ‘re-odorant’?” To get better at telling jokes, record yourself practicing and listen to your pacing.

1

Puns

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A goofy pun is great—even when it’s so bad it makes your eyes roll. Puns rely on one word or phrase being used two ways at the same time, which is where the joy and humor come from. Some of the best puns are even intentionally silly or don’t make sense on a literal level. These jokes aren’t for everyone, but if your audience has an inclination towards humor so bad that it’s good, you’ll have people in stitches!
- “I named my dog ‘five miles,’ so that I can say ‘I walked five miles today.’”
- “Jokes about steak are a medium rarely done well.”
- “This nosy pepper keeps bothering people. It just gets jalapeno business.”
- “Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? They’re just going through a stage.”
- “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.”

2

Knock-knock jokes

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Knock-knock jokes are a silly classic, but they’re a ton of fun! These jokes are great because everyone knows the format, and the person you’re talking to gets to participate. The structure of these jokes works like this—you say, “Knock knock,” and the other person asks, “Who’s there?” You throw out a name or short phrase, and they repeat it by adding, “who?” The punchline is usually a reversal or pun of some kind. These are really easy to come up with, and they’re a great way to get a chuckle! ^{[1]
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- “Knock, knock.” Who’s there? “Water” Water who? “Water you asking me so many questions for? Let me in already!”
- “Knock, knock.” Who’s there? “Nobel” Nobel who? “No bell, that’s why I’m knocking.”
- “Knock, knock.” Who’s there? “Tank.” Tank who? “You’re welcome!”
- “Knock, knock.” Who’s there? “Control freak.” Control freak who? “Okay, now you say ‘Control freak who?’”
- “Knock, knock.” Who’s there? “A cow who interrupts people.” A cow who inter— “MOO!”
- Click here for more knee-slapping knock-knock jokes!

3

Sarcastic jokes

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Sarcasm is when you say one thing, but you mean the opposite. A lot of people think of sarcasm as a dull form of humor, but a good sarcastic joke can get a serious laugh! These jokes are all about the delivery, so try raising your voice a bit and rolling your eyes while you lean into the punchline. ^{[2]
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- “Just remember, I’m a unique individual. Like everyone else!”
- “I always tell my employees, don’t think of me as your boss. Think of me as a friend who can fire you.”
- “Honesty is the best policy. I invented that quote back when I was the president.”
- “I’m not a sarcastic person. I always say what I mean.”
- Click here for more dry and sarcastic jokes!

4

Observational jokes

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Observational humor is fun if you enjoy pointing out life’s little quirks. This type of comedy is extremely popular, and it’s a common form of joke-telling for stand-up comedians. Observational jokes tend to require some context, but if your audience understands what you’re commenting on, this is a great way to get a laugh. Basically, you find something “normal” and point out something silly or strange about it. ^{[3]
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- “Why is it called ‘deodorant’ when it should be called ‘re-odorant’?”
- “Why did Michael Jordan have a coach? He’s the best basketball player of all time. What did the coach do? Just yell, ‘Yeah! Keep doing that Mike!’”
- “People always say they’re ordering food at a restaurant, but really they’re ordering the server.”
- “Parking attendants always sit in little glass booths; they don’t really attend to anything, do they?”

5

Dad jokes

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Dad jokes are simple, corny, and generally inoffensive. If you’ve ever heard a joke so cheesy it made you groan and roll your eyes, odds are, it was a dad joke. These jokes are often presented as puns or one-liners, and are often told to intentionally provoke a “negative” reaction to their overly simplistic humor. They’re called dad jokes because they’re the kinds of jokes a father would tell his child.
- “What does a lemon say when it answers the phone? Yellow!”
- “What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!”
- “What’s brown and sticky? A stick!”
- “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.”
- “How do pickles make the best use of their time? They relish every moment.”
- Want a personalized dad joke? Check out our Dad Joke Generator !
EXPERT TIP

Manuel Garavito
Stand-Up Comedian
Manuel Garavito is a stand-up comedian, producer, and founder of Miami Comedy — a platform that has cultivated one of the most vibrant underground comedy scenes in Miami, Florida. He has been featured in The Miami New Times and VoyageMIA as a comedy expert. Manny has produced over 5,000 live comedy shows, coached dozens of comedians globally in developing their stage presence and comedic voice, and hosts the popular Miami Comedy Podcast, where he riffs on the quirks of Miami life with locals on his livestreams. Manuel combines his entrepreneurial skills and comedy persona through his comedy coaching business, where he helps his clients build their unique comedy style, grow their confidence, and even create comedy content online. His work blends humor, coaching, and community building, making him a sought-after voice in both entertainment and personal development spaces.

Manuel Garavito
Stand-Up Comedian

Dad jokes are sweet and endearing. A good dad joke feels like it comes from someone who cares, like a father figure being silly. It’s not imposing or edgy; it’s more like, “Here’s a sweet little joke I thought you’d enjoy.”

6

Absurdist jokes

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Absurdist humor is funny because random nonsense is funny. Ever find yourself laughing when someone makes silly noises with their mouth? Ever burst out in tears just because someone said something so confusing you couldn’t make sense of it? Absurd jokes can take a variety of forms, but the main thing is that they’re either totally nonsensical or kind of come close to making sense but don’t. They tend to only be funny for people who “get it” (or don’t?), and the delivery is often a big part of making these land. ^{[4]
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- “Does anyone know how to clean syrup off of a wood floor? It’s a serious question. I have syrup all over my floor.”
- “Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels, and bagels can’t fly.”
- “I bought a thesaurus yesterday; unfortunately, I don’t know how to read.”
- “Did you know that France is actually smaller than every other country combined?”
- “I saw a fish in the bathroom, and I was just like, ‘Whoa. You don’t belong here. Get out of here, fish.’”

7

“Chicken crossing the road” jokes

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“Chicken crossing the road” jokes leave a lot of room for creativity. Unlike the knock-knock joke, this format is unique because everyone knows the traditional punchline—“to get to the other side.” Since the punchline is already in the back of the audience’s head, you can play with that expectation to make it funny! Feel free to swap out the chicken for another subject or toy with the setup a bit if you want to make it your own.
- “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Why? “No one knows, but the road is clearly upset about it.”
- “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Why? “Arrogance. Pure, unadulterated pride.”
- “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Why? “To tempt fate.”
- “Why did the cow cross the road?” Why? “Because it wanted to go to the moo-vies.”
- “Why did the chicken go looking for ghosts?” Why? “To get to the other side.”
- Click here for more hilarious “Why did the chicken cross the road?” jokes!

8

“A man walks into a bar” jokes

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“A man walks into a bar” jokes are fun because they’re silly little stories. You get to paint a picture with your narrative while building up to the punchline, and there are a lot of ways to turn these jokes on their head. The structure is well-known, but the jokes themselves are often very different from one another. These gags tend to do well with an older audience, but they’re definitely a fun way to get a laugh. ^{[5]
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- “A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When they finish it, they say, ‘So, how much do I owe you, bartender?’ The bartender replies, ‘For you, my friend, no charge.’”
- “A man who goes digging for expensive gems walks into a bar. The bartender shakes his head and asks him to leave. He says, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve miners here.’”
- “A bear walks into a bar and says, ‘I’ll take a whiskey and…soda.’ The bartender asks, ‘Why the long pause?’ and the bear says, ‘I’m not sure. I was born with them.’”
- “A horse walks into a bar. A scared bartender shouts out in confusion, ‘Hey?!’ The horse sits down at the bar and says, ‘You read my mind!’”

9

Tongue twisters

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Tongue twisters are usually funny because they sound so silly. They’re really interesting to younger children, who tend to laugh when they try to repeat the punchline back. Still, they’re a fun way for anyone to get a quick giggle or smile. The trick here is to find a contrived reason to put a bunch of similar-sounding words together, and they’re a lot of fun to come up with! ^{[6]
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- “I needed someone to draw realistic dogs for me. Unfortunately, the labradoodle doodle dude will have to do.”
- “I was worried that my father sold something silly for a living, but it turns out that seldom do dads sell dumb doodads.”
- “Did you hear about the three friends who drew each other? Andrew drew Ann, Ann drew Drew, and Drew drew Ann drawing Andrew.”
- “How do you tell the time in Dublin? An Irish wristwatch.”
- “Microsoft doesn’t have a marketing campaign for their new database software. It turns out that Excel excels at cells, so it sells itself.”
- Click here for more tongue-tangling tongue twisters!

10

Anti-jokes

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Anti-jokes are hilarious precisely because they aren’t jokes. They normally take the structure of a preexisting joke format, like knock-knock jokes, and turn them on their head to make them as unfunny or literal as possible. The humor comes from the audience’s expectation that there will be a punchline, and when there isn’t—at least in a traditional sense—you’ll have people laughing! Try prepping your audience before telling one of these by saying, “Want to hear a joke?”
- “A bird walks into the dentist’s office. It goes to the front desk and says, ‘Hello, I need the dentist to take a look at this tooth that’s bothering me.’ The secretary says, ‘I’m sorry, we don’t have a bird dentist here.’”
- “Why can’t a T-Rex clap their hands? Because they’re extinct.”
- “A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar. They have a pleasant time discussing a variety of topics because they’re all good friends.”
- “What’s the difference between a joke and a rhetorical question?”
- “Knock, knock.” Who’s there? “To” To who? “No, no, it’s ‘to whom.’ You use ‘who’ when it refers to the subject of a sentence.”

11

Lightbulb jokes

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Lightbulb jokes can be tailored to a specific audience. While some of these can be kind of insensitive, the most successful lightbulb jokes are versions that aren’t putting people down, but playing around with a hobby or job. As a rule of thumb, if you could tell a “How many X does it take to change a light bulb” to a person who happens to be X and they’d actually laugh, you’re in the clear.
- “How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.”
- “How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to hold the giraffe, one to turn into a flower, and a third to screw the bulb in.”
- “How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that’s a hardware problem.”
- “How many skateboarders does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it takes them 100 attempts.”
- “How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and the other to change it back.”
EXPERT TIP

Zach Waldman
Professional Comedy Magician
Zach Waldman is a Professional Comedy Magician based in Los Angeles, CA. He has over 20 years of experience as an entertainer and performer. He is a comedian, magician, and mentalist, and he customizes his show to be distinct for every audience he performs for. His clients include some of the biggest corporations in the world, including Microsoft, Google, BusinessWeek, Absolut, the L.A. Kings, Anheuser-Busch, and more. He has been a member of the Academy of Magical Arts (AMA) since 2001, and performs regularly at the Academy’s clubhouse, The Magic Castle. For the past 20+ years, Zach has been a mainstay at many other reputable Los Angeles theaters and comedy clubs including the El Portal, the Comedy Store, the Improv, Flappers, and the Laugh Factory. Before moving to L.A., he attended the Player's Workshop of the Second City. He received his degree from the University of Central Florida.

Zach Waldman
Professional Comedy Magician

Remember to be yourself! If you’re focused on being yourself, the comedy will emerge naturally. There will be moments that end up being funny, just out of your purity.

Expert Q&A

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Question

How can I figure out if I'm telling a joke correctly?

Kendall Payne
Writer, Director, & Stand-up Comedian
Kendall Payne is a Writer, Director, and Stand-up Comedian based in Brooklyn, New York. Kendall specializes in directing, writing, and producing comedic short films. Her films have screened at Indie Short Fest, Brooklyn Comedy Collective, Channel 101 NY, and 8 Ball TV. She has also written and directed content for the Netflix is a Joke social channels and has written marketing scripts for Between Two Ferns: The Movie, Astronomy Club, Wine Country, Bash Brothers, Stand Up Specials and more. Kendall runs an IRL internet comedy show at Caveat called Extremely Online, and a comedy show for @ssholes called Sugarp!ss at Easy Lover. She studied at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and at New York University (NYU) Tisch in the TV Writing Certificate Program.

Kendall Payne

Writer, Director, & Stand-up Comedian

Expert Answer

Are people laughing? If so, you're telling it right! If you aren't getting laughs, you could be telling it wrong. One thing you could do is turn on your phone's audio recorder before you tell it the next time, and then review your cadence and delivery to see if you're on to something.

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What should I do if a joke doesn't work out?

Kendall Payne
Writer, Director, & Stand-up Comedian
Kendall Payne is a Writer, Director, and Stand-up Comedian based in Brooklyn, New York. Kendall specializes in directing, writing, and producing comedic short films. Her films have screened at Indie Short Fest, Brooklyn Comedy Collective, Channel 101 NY, and 8 Ball TV. She has also written and directed content for the Netflix is a Joke social channels and has written marketing scripts for Between Two Ferns: The Movie, Astronomy Club, Wine Country, Bash Brothers, Stand Up Specials and more. Kendall runs an IRL internet comedy show at Caveat called Extremely Online, and a comedy show for @ssholes called Sugarp!ss at Easy Lover. She studied at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and at New York University (NYU) Tisch in the TV Writing Certificate Program.

Kendall Payne

Writer, Director, & Stand-up Comedian

Expert Answer

We call this "bombing" in the industry. It's natural and it's nothing to feel bad about. The trick when this happens is to figure out whether the joke is any good or not. It could be that you just need to practice telling it, or find a new audience for the joke. If it doesn't get any laughs the next 2-3 times you tell it, it's probably not a super good joke.

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Are puns the best kind of jokes?

Community Answer

Some people like puns, but others do not find them funny. Jokes are not objective and everyone reacts to them differently.

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Audience matters. What makes a bunch of personal friends laugh may not be particularly funny to your co-workers or parents. Just keep that in mind if you’re trying to crack a joke on the fly. ^{[7]
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Know a person before cracking a joke that could be considered offensive. The wrong joke at the wrong time could ruffle a relationship.

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How to Tell Jokes Like a Professional Comedian (with Examples)

Secrets to Telling a Good Joke

Steps

Puns

Knock-knock jokes

Sarcastic jokes

Observational jokes

Dad jokes

Absurdist jokes

“Chicken crossing the road” jokes

“A man walks into a bar” jokes

Tongue twisters

Anti-jokes

Lightbulb jokes

Expert Q&A

Video

Tips

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References

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