Q&A for How to Detect Arrogant People

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  • Question
    How does someone know when to let go of a friendship or relationship?
    Guy Reichard
    Executive Life Coach
    Guy Reichard is an Executive Life Coach and the Founder of HeartRich Coaching & Training, a professional life coaching and inner leadership training provider based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He works with people to create more meaning, purpose, well-being, and fulfillment in their lives. Guy has over 10 years of personal growth coaching and resilience training experience, helping clients enhance and transform their inner worlds, so they can be a more positive and powerful influence on those they love and lead. He is an Adler Certified Professional Coach (ACPC), and is accredited by the International Coach Federation. He earned a BA in Psychology from York University in 1997 and a Master of Business Administration (MBA) from York University in 2000.
    Executive Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    When the relationship is toxic or abusive in any way, and you’ve taken courageous, loving steps to address the issues and ask for better treatment, and the friend has no desire to change, it’s time to let go. Some people let go too quickly and easily. I'm not saying anyone should stay in a toxic or abusive relationship, but sometimes there’s simply a one-sided sense of unfairness or inequality. This situation is not necessarily toxic or abusive, but the one person is afraid of confrontation and conflict, and so they simply stonewall or ghost the other person. That’s not fair either. The key is that you’ve tried to improve the situation, and you’ve tried to grow and do your best, and you find no partner to improve and grow with you. Then it’s a sign to let go.
  • Question
    My fiance asked me to move in with him and now he always says hurtful things to me. Things like "Don't act like this is your house, you are a guest here." He wants to me to ask permission for everything. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    In all honesty, your fiance is a jerk and you don't deserve to be treated like that. In the end, your self-respect matters and regardless of who the hatred comes from, you should care for yourself. If I were you, I would tell him his words are unacceptable. If you don't get an apology, break it off with him. Respect should be the most important aspect of a marriage, so it is not a good sign if he is already exhibiting a lack of it while you are still engaged.
  • Question
    Is it good to be in a relationship with a guy who thinks it is all about him or thinks it is all about looking good?
    Community Answer
    No, that's not a healthy relationship to be in. Relationships should not be so superficial or so one-sided. Best to put and end to this and hopefully eventually find a more caring person to be with.
  • Question
    What causes arrogance in people?
    Community Answer
    A lot of times it boils down to insecurity. The arrogant person can't deal with the fact that they are insecure/feel bad about themselves, so they build themselves up to hide their real feelings.
  • Question
    My friend constantly complains about her neighbor being a control freak, interfering, etc., yet she just told me they are going on vacation together. Does this make any sense?
    Community Answer
    It seems to be a case of either dual-arrogance or downright submissiveness on your friend's part. Possible dual-arrogance: Whilst the neighbor lady is controlling, maybe curt and very outspoken, it seems your friend is slightly less outspoken but, nevertheless, is unwilling to yield in any way e.g. show weakness of character nor allow herself to lose face. Possible submissiveness: Maybe this neighbor has asserted herself to such a degree as to actually strike genuine fear into your friend. She may be trying to avoid any conflict.
  • Question
    I argue, I cry and act crazy. Does that make me arrogant?
    Community Answer
    The manner in which you've summed up your attitude demonstrates that you make a lot of noise, act disagreebly and go out of control whenever anyone might try to check your misbehavior. You might be arrogant, there isn't enough to go by to assess that, but you certainly like to create drama and use it to your advantage. Perhaps assess how people act around you and how many real friends you actually have. It might help you to decide to act more maturely and with consideration for others.
  • Question
    How can I get over an arrogant competitor?
    Community Answer
    Ignore his attitude, be nice to him, and do your job. Arrogant people quite often tend to fail in a 1 on 1 competition.
  • Question
    Are arrogant people insecure?
    Community Answer
    Often times, yes. Some people are arrogant because they feel like it gives them confidence or protects their image in a way. However, not all arrogant people are insecure.
  • Question
    How can I help an arrogant person, or help them to help themselves?
    Community Answer
    You can help by bringing the arrogant instances to the person's attention and not letting the person treat you badly. The person has to first identify that they have a problem and be willing to work on it for themselves. There must be a solid effort made to change and recognize what is causing the arrogance in the first place (like the article referenced, often insecurities and past situations).
  • Question
    How do I deal with an arrogant boss?
    Community Answer
    Be kind and keep your cool at work. If the issue doesn't go away, talk to someone in your Human Resources department for help.
  • Question
    My former best friend has been arrogant for 8 years. I had enough, and now we are kind of enemies. What do I do from this point?
    Community Answer
    Stop responding to fake crisis calls. If you don’t drop everything to take their “I’m so devastated! My boss gave me a look that I think means he secretly hates me and that jerk from marketing wore the same shirt as me” calls, they’ll find someone else who will or they’ll deal with it. Either way, it’s okay to step back and get off the first alert calling list for non-emergencies.
  • Question
    If a person is reactionless or expressionless and does not give other people that much attention, does it mean the person is arrogant?
    Community Answer
    Not necessarily. Some people are naturally shy, quiet or aloof.
  • Question
    How I deal with my arrogant sister?
    Community Answer
    Check out the helpful suggestions in this article about coping with arrogant people on wikiHow.
  • Question
    What are healthy ways to heal my arrogance?
    Community Answer
    If you're concerned with your personality, see a therapist. While family and friends can certainly work with you and provide you advice and support, it's also important to get a professional involved when it comes to your mental health.
  • Question
    How should I answer an arrogant boss when she questioned me about her unknown things?
    Community Answer
    Ask her what she means by "unknown things." Ask her to be very specific because you want to write it all done so you can take her message with you when you make your complaint about her bullying to Human Resources.
  • Question
    One of my classmate behaves very rudely to me. I help her all the time because if I don't, she starts yelling at me. She takes advantage of me. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    First of all: don't let anyone tell you what to do or yell at you for not doing what they want. Stand up to her, and when she asks you to do something for her, don't do it. Be firm and don't give in. If she yells or continues bothering you after that, tell a teacher.
  • Question
    Do arrogant people always demean others or treat them badly?
    Community Answer
    Yes; if not always, then often. People are often arrogant to cover their own insecurities, and they try to bring others down to make themselves look better. The best thing to do is calmly call them on this behavior--"You're being insulting and rude, and I'm not going to continue this conversation"--and walk away. Don't try to engage; someone who's arrogant will not view you as an equal and will simply become even more demeaning and abusive.
  • Question
    I had a friend who turned cold. He always finds ways to hate us girls and he thinks of himself as "superior". He used to be so nice though. What do you think happened? And what caused him to be like this?
    Shiloh
    Community Answer
    Sometimes people act in rude ways because they may think it is cool or they want to impress their friends. The way he is probably not permanent, just remember to be the bigger person and set a good example and if he bullies you, tell anyone you know you can trust.
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