Q&A for How to Cope With Annoying Grandparents

See if you can resolve the issues first. However, if you're being kind, nice, and gentle, and the other side is still being selfish, overwhelmed, and inconsiderate, you may need to reevaluate the relationship.

You can make sure they know how it makes you feel, for starters. Once you've done that, if the comparisons continue, you may have to develop a thick skin and make a decision that you're not going to let it bother you. Make a list of the things you do well and your good characteristics, and look at that list when your grandparents' comments are getting you down. Remember, nobody can make you feel inferior without your own consent!

Remind her how old you are and how she is treating you. You could explain why these behaviors bother you and what you would prefer her to do instead. If any of her behaviors get out of hand, you could try talking to your parents to see if they could intervene.

Just politely remind her of things if she seems confused. Do not be mean or aggressive or get frustrated as it is not deliberate. Old people have the tendency to forget as they have a lifetime of memories to remember.

I have the same situation. Talk to her about your mom's good qualities. Her perspective may change. You might also suggest to your mom that she stand up for herself. Other than that, there's not much you can do. Stay out of the drama and be respectful and polite when you must interact with your grandma.

If they are physically abusive, tell another adult you trust, a friend, family member, or go directly to the police. If it is verbal abuse, you could try talking to them about it, telling them how bad their comments make you feel, etc. or, again, tell another adult what's going on. The worst thing you could do is keep it to yourself because it will probably just get worse.

Sometimes older people can get lonely, even if they do have a spouse or pets. Take this into account, be understanding, and be fully present when she is talking to you. You might also consult your parents for ideas, suggestions, and insights.

Just calmly look at her to let her know you are paying attention and keep all your answers short and agreeable to end the conversation faster. Works for me. If it gets bad, tell your parents.

Whenever they ask you something, avoid the details and say, "Fine"; that way, you avoid more conversation. Of course, if you're forced to see them, you could tell them you don't like how they act, and walk away.

Just politely remind her of things if she seems confused. Do not be mean or aggressive or get frustrated as it is not deliberate.

Clean it before she gets there.

Don't do this. Your dad is an adult and he can stick up for himself. You'll only be making the situation worse for everyone by getting involved. Your grandfather will likely think your dad put you up to talking to him, even if you say he didn't. If you want to help, talk to your dad (privately) about how you feel about the way his father is treating him and suggest that he not put up with it anymore.

I know it's hard, but just ignore them. It probably won't stop, so all you can do is move on with your life and act as if they don't exist.

Try to do what she asks, even if you don't want to. She won't be around forever, and it's important to make positive memories. If she's asking you to do things you really can't do, talk to your parents about it and ask them to intervene, or just try respectfully telling her, "I'm sorry, grandma, I can't do that," and then explain why.

I know how hard it can be dealing with an overbearing or rude grandparent, but you have to be like an umbrella and block out all of her rude comments. If you can't take it or it's just too much, go to a different room or call your parents and tell them what's going on. Also, try your best not to be lazy!

Talk to your grandparents and about how you and your mom are feeling about their fighting. They may not be aware of how their behavior is affecting other family members. You could also try talking to one of your uncles or aunts to see if they have any suggestions or if they would be willing to talk to their parents (your grandparents) about it.

You could ask her why you're not smart enough, to her. Or tell her you are smart, but not in a rude way. The best thing to do is ignore it, as your grandmother could have issues unrelated to you.

If possible, ask them to help you study. You can ask them questions or they can quiz you with flashcards. If this is not possible, either save your studying for a later time or just politely tell them you need to get your work done. They should understand.

Be respectful and calm, and make the boundaries clear. You can try explaining why you are setting these boundaries, but only if you know they will react positively. Don’t tell them you blame the need for boundaries on their behavior.

The best thing to do is to distract him or go to another room. If it's really upsetting you, tell your parents and ask them to intervene.

Grandparents are embarrassing. There's really no getting around that. If they do something that really makes you uncomfortable, just speak up and politely ask them to stop. Otherwise, remember that they will not be around forever, and you'll look back on this time with them fondly in the future, even if it doesn't feel that way now.

Try to talk to them about it, or try to be more helpful and more responsible around your grandparents. Do chores without being asked, like taking out the trash or washing dishes. Take an interest in your grandparents' hobbies. If they like gardening, offer to help them in the garden. This will give your grandparents a more favorable impression of you.

Recognize that this grandparent only wants the best for you, and reply kindly with, "Thank you for the advice, I'll be sure to consider it when I'm making my decision."

Tell your parents this is happening, it is not appropriate. The fact you've noticed means she is making it very clear you don't matter as much as another grandchild and that is inappropriate behavior from someone who should know better. Your grandma might have a personality disorder, like narcissism, that leads her to think that playing favorites is okay because it makes her feel better. Not only should she not do that but at her age, should know better. Don't try to win her over; instead, stand up for yourself and call out the actions you find unfair. For example, you might say: "I notice you gave Sally $10 to go to the store but you gave me nothing. Is there some reason for that? I think it's pretty unfair." But remember, she probably won't change, so don't let it get to you, it's about her, not you.

Put up boundaries. Tell her you aren’t comfortable answering, and if she keeps pressing, tell her to stop, you don’t like it. And if it keeps getting worse, tell a parent.

Talk to your grandparent about it, using calm tones. If you need a confidence boost, ask your cousin to go with you. And if this still doesn’t stop, tell your parents or other trusted adults.

You could tell your grandparent that you are responsible for your own life. Ask your parents to talk to him/her too.

Your grandparents are probably just really proud of you. If you are an only child, then you might just be the favorite grandkid. If you have siblings, (don't tell them, they'll be jealous) then the same thing applies. And if it really bothers you, tell them. Sometimes it's hard to talk to them, so if you are uncomfortable, talk to your parents. Remember to be patient, because they are older, and they may just not know that it bothers you.

First off, talk to your mom and dad. Second, if ol' gramps is being pushy, let him know. If your grandma is living, tell her. She will tell him off if she knows. If your gramps still won't back off, tell him one more time. And if he still won't back off, stretch the truth just a bit. Say "Gramps, I'm having a hard time at school, could you please stop telling me to revise?" And if all else fails, tell him straight up, " Gramps get off my back, OK?!? I'm tired enough without you on me constantly to always do better! You are not my dad, and you never will be, so back off!" And if it still doesn't work, ignore him completely. He will give in eventually: it's tiring work nagging someone.

If you mean that they cannot hear you, then it's not their fault. As you age, your hearing fades. If you mean to understand what you are saying and really take it to heart, no one can do that except them. You can talk to them about it but you can't control it. And the nosy thing, they probably just want to know you better, and be involved in your life. Don't take this one personally, they just want to know more about you, that way you can help them if you need it.