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Compliments are fun to give and even better to receive, but it’s not always easy to know the right compliment to choose for someone. Gendered comments can feel awkward, and not just when you’re talking to nonbinary people. We’ve compiled a handy guide for how to compliment someone regardless of gender, so you can tell that person just how much you appreciate them.

Things You Should Know

  • Use ungendered words like “stunning” or “cool” when talking about their appearance.
  • Comment on how they choose to present themselves, like clothing and hairstyles, rather than things they can't control.
  • Compliment their personality or skills if you’re unsure about physical compliments.
1

”You look wonderful today.”

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  1. Words like “wonderful” or “cool” work well for people of any gender identity. Avoid using words like “handsome” or “beautiful,” which might have male or female connotations. Some people might be okay with these, but it may make other people uncomfortable. Lean toward more general adjectives if you’re complimenting someone’s looks. [1]
    • “That’s a fantastic look on you.”
    • “Your outfit is so cool!”
    • “You’re absolutely stunning.”
    • “You’ve got a great attitude.”
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5

”Your tattoos are so cool.”

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7

”You’re so kind.”

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11

“Oh, I’m sorry! I won’t say that kind of thing anymore.”

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  1. Some people might not appreciate certain compliments. Even if those compliments seem harmless or genuine, your comment might not be welcome, regardless of someone’s gender. If someone tells you that something you said made them uncomfortable or asserts their boundaries , apologize and make an effort to take note. [10]
    • “I’ll try to remember that you don’t like that kind of thing. Thanks for telling me!”
    • “Excuse me, can I compliment your outfit?”
    • “How do you like to be complimented?”
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      Expert Interview

      Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about gender-neutral compliments, check out our in-depth interview with Kim Chronister, PsyD .

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