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. Dr. Allison Broennimann is a licensed Clinical Psychologist with a private practice based in the San Francisco Bay Area providing psychotherapy and neuropsychology services. With over a decade of experience, Dr. Broennimann specializes in in-depth psychotherapy to provide solution-focused treatments for anxiety, depression, relationship problems, grief, adjustment problems, traumatic stress, and phase-of-life transitions. And as part of her neuropsychology practice, she integrates depth psychotherapy and cognitive rehabilitation for those recovering after traumatic brain injury. Dr. Broennimann holds a BA in Psychology from the University of California, Santa Cruz, and an MS and Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Palo Alto University. She is licensed by the California Board of Psychology and is a member of the American Psychological Association.
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Mutual respect is incredibly important in both the working world and your personal relationships. With mutual respect, you celebrate the unique perspectives, opinions, and experiences that the other person brings, encourage an open dialogue where everyone can share their thoughts and feelings, and respond to each person with politeness, kindness, and understanding. If you’re looking to cultivate an environment of mutual respect, sometimes all you need is to take the first step and incorporate kindness and active listening into your daily interactions. Read on to learn more!
Things You Should Know
- Mutual respect means acknowledging the other person’s feelings and opinions and recognizing that they have their own valuable experiences and skills.
- Develop respect in the workplace by having an open door policy, inviting employees to express their opinions and concerns, and celebrating team milestones.
- Develop respect in your romantic relationship by keeping your promises, owning up to your mistakes, and being honest with them about your emotions.
Steps
What is mutual respect?
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Mutual respect is appreciation of others’ differences, opinions, and emotions. Mutual respect means responding to others' opinions and emotions with politeness and care and celebrating that everyone is different and valuable with their own unique perspectives, experiences, and skills. Not only does mutual respect encourage stable, healthy relationships, but it can help create a more positive, relaxed environment for everyone.
- In the workplace, mutual respect might mean openly recognizing an employee’s great performance, treating everyone equally, or avoiding gossip and profanity around others.
- In romantic relationships, mutual respect might look like thanking your partner, apologizing if you make a mistake, and going the extra mile to take some work off their plate.
Why does mutual respect matter?
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1In the workplace, mutual respect creates a positive work environment. A lack of mutual respect may create a toxic work environment, which has been shown to significantly impact productivity and employee mental health. [1] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source On the other hand, encouraging mutual respect and valuing diversity in the workplace may:
- Improve employee morale and retention
- Create a more positive and productive working environment
- Promote trust and open communication among coworkers and upper management
- Increase creativity, problem-solving, and innovation
- Lead to more high-quality applicants for jobs
- Create a company reputation of fairness and ethical strength
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2In personal relationships, mutual respect helps create a foundation of trust. In marriage or romantic partnerships, mutual respect is essential because it allows both people to accept each other’s differences, keep each other in mind when making decisions, and respond to each other’s needs and wants. [2] X Research source Other benefits of mutual respect may be that:
- Conflicts are less likely to occur and are more easily and quickly resolved.
- Both partners are able to listen actively and communicate more honestly and effectively with each other.
- Both partners support each other in their professional and personal goals, aspirations, successes, and growth.
- Partners respect each other's personal space and equally share household chores and responsibilities.
- It can help create a strong, supportive, and fulfilling romantic connection.
- Both partners are better able to avoid criticism or blame, apologize when they’re wrong, and give compliments or express their gratitude towards the other person.
How to Develop Mutual Respect in the Workplace
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1Have an open-door policy to encourage employees to speak freely. As a manager, keeping your door open can make employees feel comfortable stopping by to present issues or ideas, encourage an open flow of informal discussions that let you in the loop on what’s happening in the department, and promote closer working relationships between you and employees. [3] X Research source
- On the other hand, keeping your door closed can create a formal, secretive environment where employees might be afraid to speak freely or feel like you’re not trustworthy. [4] X Research source
- Try holding confidential employee discussions in conference rooms or other offices instead of the manager’s office to alleviate office anxiety and promote trust.
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2Listen to employees’ opinions and concerns. As a leader, hearing out your employee’s views and issues can contribute to building mutual respect and trust between employees and upper management. As an employee, expressing your opinions can make you feel valued, increase your job satisfaction, and create opportunities to make your workspace a better place. [5] X Research source
- Try using in-person and digital mentors to encourage open communication—whether you hold one-on-one or department meetings, use an employee app to improve engagement with remote workers, or allow employees to respond to work issues by creating an open online forum. [6] X Research source
- Everyone wants to feel seen and heard—whether you’re an employee or a manager, look them in the eyes, speak up, and keep what you want to say to the point.
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3Take what your employees say into consideration and follow up on it. The next step after engaging employees is to translate their feedback into action. Try to create an action plan with solutions that are S.M.A.R.T.—specific, measurable, achievable, relevant to the problem, and time-bound. [7] X Research source
- A SMART goal might be to boost office morale during a large project deadline (Specific) by spending $1,000/month for three months (Measurable) on team-building activities during office hours (Attainable and Relevant) and conducting a feedback survey at the end (Time-bound).
- You can also follow up with the team or employee after solutions are implemented, either in a meeting or anonymously through a survey, to see if they worked.
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4Create a company culture of praise and positive feedback. Giving employees authentic praise for their hard work and encouraging them to recognize each other’s achievements can increase efficiency and make employees feel valued and respected. [8] X Research source Try incorporating employee-of-the-month programs, skill workshops, and regular feedback programs.
- One study of over 1,800 employees found that praise and recognition from peers had twice as much impact on their well-being than praise from managers. [9] X Research source
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5Incorporate mutual respect into the mission and goals of the company. Having a mission statement and goals to work towards as a company can already help cultivate a positive work culture and increase employee productivity levels, engagement, trust, and loyalty. [10] X Research source When you incorporate mutual respect into your mission and goals, it may help you create a company-wide policy of mutual respect that stands the test of time.
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6Learn about your employees’ personal and professional goals. Helping employees set and meet goals is all part of a manager’s job description, but tying employees’ personal and professional goals to the ambitions of the company can not only help promote a company culture of mutual respect but may make them more likely to stay engaged. [11] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- For example, try asking your employees if they have any personal goals they want to share with you and what adjustments you can make to help them achieve those goals.
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7Celebrate team milestones company-wide. Just like positive praise can help motivate employees and make them feel appreciated, celebrating small and large accomplishments can remind them that their leaders value their hard work. Send weekly internal newsletters, hold a monthly company-wide celebration, or start an employee recognition program . [12] X Research source
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8Value diversity and treat employees with politeness and kindness. Not only can communicating with all employees respectfully and promoting diversity, equity, and inclusion in the workplace increase mutual respect, but it can increase income and employee retention, foster innovation, and improve problem-solving in teams. [13] X Research source
- If you feel like you may be having difficulty treating others with respect, try to reflect on and overcome your own biases.
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9Identify disrespect and take a “zero tolerance” approach. To create an environment full of mutual respect, try to deal with disrespectful employees immediately. Remain calm , provide clear feedback, document incidents with HR if necessary, set expectations for them to improve, and check in on the other employees. [14] X Research source Ask yourself these questions to help identify if others are being disrespectful:
- Could this behavior be viewed as rude or hostile?
- Are they intentionally harming, disrupting, or upsetting others?
- Is this behavior affecting the cohesion or positive work environment of your team?
- Is this behavior damaging to your company's mission or reputation?
- Does this person violate any laws or company policies?
How to Develop Mutual Respect in Relationships
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1Keep your promises and be consistent. Reliability and trust are two important ingredients for respect. As partners grow together, they might take on different roles or responsibilities that require both people to have someone they can count on. [15] X Research source Keeping your promises and being consistent when keeping them can contribute to building trust and respect in relationships. [16] X Research source
- For example, if one person regularly leaves a mess or has to take out the garbage each week and doesn’t do it, it may cause the other person to feel like they aren’t respected.
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2Celebrate what makes your partner unique and different from you. Appreciate what makes them an independent person—part of what makes relationships great is that your partner can help you see the world from a new perspective. [17] X Research source Try to talk openly with them about your values, beliefs, and political viewpoints, and respect their boundaries when they don’t want to do something.
- Trying your partner’s hobbies might also show that you respect them as a person. If they like to golf, ask to come with them the next time they go to the putting green.
- You can also build respect in your relationship by encouraging your partner to spend time alone or with other people so both of you can grow as individuals. [18] X Research source
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3Speak to your partner with kindness and compassion. Talking to your partner with compassion, focusing on positive, constructive communication, and asking open-ended questions can foster healthy communication and may help create a mutually respectful partnership. [19] X Research source
- When having an important discussion, try to focus on resolving conflicts together, avoid interrupting them while your partner is talking, and validate their feelings and opinions.
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4Own up to your mistakes and choose to forgive. Arguments can break a relationship, especially if both partners don’t respect each other. If you make a mistake, apologize if you need to, be willing to make compromises, and change old habits that led up to your mistake. If your partner makes a mistake, forgive them and work together to solve the problem at hand. [20] X Research source
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5Support each other’s goals and dreams. Mutual respect often means that you’re there for your partner in good times and bad. Offer your partner encouragement and support for their goals by giving them advice if they need it, helping them with chores and other responsibilities, and being understanding, encouraging, and reassuring. [21] X Research source
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6Show gratitude to your partner. Gratitude not only feels great, but it can create mutual respect in your relationship and create a greater connection. One study shows that expressing thanks can release oxytocin, which can build a stronger bond between two people. [22] X Research source To cultivate gratitude in your relationship: [23] X Research source
- Give your partner compliments when you think of them.
- Pitch in where you can to lighten their workload.
- If you have children, encourage them to thank your partner with words, hugs, or special cards.
- Give them a personal note, text, or letter that says the reasons why you love them and how they brighten your life.
- Compliment your partner to other people to increase your level of gratitude for them.
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7Be honest with each other about your emotions and opinions. To rebuild respect, try to focus on thinking about how your actions affect the other person and have a conversation with them if you feel like they aren’t taking your needs into account. Be truthful and transparent with each other and try to express your emotions and opinions in a clear, non-judgemental way.
- One study shows that authenticity and honesty might not only lead to better friendships and relationships, but they can also improve your mental and physical health. [24] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
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8Show your partner affection often. Remember that both of you are in this relationship by choice—you both decide every day to love and admire each other as people. Write them little love notes, communicate about your concerns, and show appreciation to your partner often to let them know they’re loved and respected. [25] X Research source
Final Thoughts
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Mutual respect is necessary for trust and communication to flourish. Respect means acknowledging one another's differences and encouraging a dialogue where each person can freely express their opinions and emotions. Whether in the workplace or at home with the person you love, mutual respect can bring people closer together and build a safe and productive environment for everyone.
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References
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5982074/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-do-life/202201/the-need-mutual-respect-in-relationship
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/lisaquast/2013/10/07/new-managers-4-reasons-you-need-an-open-door-policy/?sh=490b33637cde
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/lisaquast/2013/10/07/new-managers-4-reasons-you-need-an-open-door-policy/?sh=490b33637cde
- ↑ https://www.cipd.org/uk/knowledge/factsheets/voice-factsheet/
- ↑ https://www.cipd.org/uk/knowledge/guides/employee-voice-guide/?_gl=1*1xq1gaw*_ga*MTMyMzczNzQ3NC4xNjk0NTU2Nzcz*_ga_D9HN5GYHYY*MTY5NDU1Njc3Mi4xLjAuMTY5NDU1Njc3Mi42MC4wLjA .
- ↑ https://www.health.state.mn.us/communities/practice/resources/phqitoolbox/objectives.html
- ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/260218080_The_impact_of_Positive_Reinforcement_on_Employees'_Performance_in_Organizations
- ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/281779489_Does_Employee_Recognition_Affect_Positive_Psychological_Functioning_and_Well-Being
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/williamcraig/2018/05/15/the-importance-of-having-a-mission-driven-company/?sh=67ab001d3a9c
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2011/02/making-sure-your-employees-suc
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbeshumanresourcescouncil/2021/03/16/12-smart-strategies-for-celebrating-your-teams-wins-together/?sh=4c6704c216e7
- ↑ https://online.uncp.edu/articles/mba/diversity-and-inclusion-good-for-business.aspx
- ↑ https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/9145-employee-disrespect-effect.html
- ↑ https://www.healthymarriageinfo.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Why-Trust-Matters-in-Relationships.pdf
- ↑ https://sisep.fpg.unc.edu/blog/how-build-lasting-relationships
- ↑ https://www.teenhealthcare.org/blog/6-ways-to-show-respect-in-your-relationship/
- ↑ https://www.teenhealthcare.org/blog/6-ways-to-show-respect-in-your-relationship/
- ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/5-easy-ways-to-communicate-better-in-your-relationships/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/may-i-have-your-attention/201601/9-rules-recovering-relationship-mistakes
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-new-home/202209/how-you-and-your-partner-can-help-each-other-achieve-goals
- ↑ https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/GGSC-JTF_White_Paper-Gratitude-FINAL.pdf?_ga=2.82610261.2142947331.1637096170-1362583773.1634590861
- ↑ https://extension.usu.edu/relationships/faq/the-importance-of-showing-gratitude-to-your-partner
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2012/08/lying-less
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/love-is-a-choice-more-than-a-feeling