What’s the Difference Between Polyamory and an Open Relationship?

Polyamory and open relationships are two of the most common forms of ethical non-monogamy—but what exactly are they? Are they interchangeable? If not, what’s the difference? Keep reading: we’ve developed a simple guide to both forms of polygamy, plus the benefits of each and how to decide if ethical non-monogamy is right for you.

Things You Should Know

Polyamory refers to a relationship including multiple people, all of whom are emotionally and romantically involved with one another.
An open relationship refers to a monogamous couple in which one or both partners chooses to engage in purely physical external relationships.
Opt for polyamory if you feel like you have too much love for one person; consider an open relationship if you’d like to have sex with more people but limit romantic ties.

Section 1 of 7:

Difference Between Polyamory and Open Relationships

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Polyamorous people may have as many romantic partners as they wish. Polyamorous people may be involved sexually and emotionally with multiple partners, and they're dedicated to loving each partner equally. There's (usually) no hierarchy among polyamorous partners. ^{[1]
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- We say "usually," because some polyamorous people consider one partner their primary partner, though they still maintain emotional connections with other partners.
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Open relationships involve one romantic partner and multiple sex partners. Open relationships are for committed romantic partners who wish to have sex with other people outside the relationship. Unlike with polyamory, however, the goal in an open relationship is to limit emotional connections with these other people and to prioritize the wants and needs of the primary partner. ^{[2]
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- While polyamorous people may move relatively freely between partners, in an open relationship, partners generally maintain strict boundaries with their extra-relationship partners and regularly communicate their needs and expectations with their primary partner.

Section 2 of 7:

Open Relationship Overview

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In an open relationship, each partner may have multiple sexual relationships. Some couples may opt to open up their relationship if the relationship is going well, but one or both partners wants to have sex with other people. Unlike in a polyamorous relationship, the goal of an open relationship is to keep it purely physical and not introduce an emotional element. ^{[3]
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- Unlike in a polyamorous relationship, in an open relationship, there’s a hierarchy: each partner prioritizes one another over any side flings they might engage in.
- Open relationships require that both partners consent to non-monogamy, even if one partner doesn’t feel the desire to see anyone other than their partner.
- While polyamorous relationships may allow for more freedom among participants, in an open relationship, both partners may have strict boundaries they expect one another to adhere to. Good communication and trust is essential to make an open relationship work.

Section 3 of 7:

Benefits of an Open Relationship

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Open relationships are a way to explore one’s sexual horizons. Lots of people enter open relationships not because their partner is lacking something, but because being with a new person can afford them the opportunity to explore their sexuality in new ways. An open relationship might be their chance to experiment with their kinks or fetishes, and sex with a new person may also help to elevate their self-esteem. ^{[4]
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- Even though both partners must agree to an open relationship, having sex with someone who’s not your partner can feel “forbidden” and provide an exciting thrill.
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They may be an option for a couple with mismatched sexual needs. Though both partners must consent to opening the relationship, both partners are free to see as many or as few people as they choose; in some cases, one partner may want to sleep with other people while the other doesn't. While a couple’s sex life doesn’t have to be suffering before they open their relationship, some couples may choose to open their relationship because their libidos are mismatched or, for whatever reason, they’re just not having as much sex as one partner would like. ^{[5]
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- In fact, sleeping with multiple partners may serve to spice up the couple’s own sex life if it’s become dull or monotonous.

Section 4 of 7:

Polyamory Overview

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Polyamory means having a romantic relationship with multiple people. While open relationships center on sexual relationships outside a closed romantic partnership, people who are polyamorous may explore romantic and sexual relationships with more than one person. All partners in a polyamorous relationship consent to anyone in the group seeing whomever they wish. Unlike in an open relationship, there’s no hierarchy in polyamory: each partner is prioritized equally. ^{[6]
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- There are 3 primary types of polyamory: solo polyamory, polygamy, and open and closed polyamory:
 - In solo polyamory , the emphasis is on an individual, not a group. A solo polyamorous person may engage in multiple separate relationships (with people who may or may not be polyamorous themselves).
 - Polygamy refers to having more than one spouse (even if it’s not a legal marriage—polygamy is technically illegal in many places around the world).
 - In an open polyamorous relationship , a group may freely accept new people, while in a closed relationship , a polyamorous group may elect not to let in any more people.

Quiz

wikiHow Quiz: Am I Polyamorous?

Polyamory involves being in multiple romantic relationships at one time with the express knowledge and informed consent of all partners. It is a type of open relationship that follows certain guidelines, agreed upon by the people involved. It’s different from monogamy, or the practice of having just one committed partner at a time. So, which label best describes you? Take this quiz to see where you fall on a polyamorous or monogamous relationship spectrum.

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