How can I tell if my BFF likes me?

05/20/25 5:47pm

I'm lesbian, and when I came out to her she said she knew exactly how I felt. Now I have a crush on her, and I don't know if she is lesbian or, even if she is, if she likes me like I like her. What are some key signs? Ty xx

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wikiHow Editorial Team

05/20/25 5:48pm

First of all, congratulations on coming out to your friend—we’re so glad to hear that she was affirming and accepting! If you want to figure out whether she shares your romantic feelings, pay attention to her body language. Does she lean in closer to you while you’re talking, mirror your movements, and find lots of excuses for little casual touches (leaning her head on your shoulder, touching your back to lead you through a crowd, etc.)? These are all signs of attraction, and they could indicate that she feels the same way about you. Flirty comments or compliments on your appearance could also be signs.

Remember, though, the only way to know for sure is to ask her directly. If she doesn’t feel the same way, it can be a little awkward at first, but it’s totally possible to get past it and maintain your friendship. And if she does feel the same way, it could be the start of an amazing relationship!

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Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist

05/20/25 6:34pm

If you have a crush on your best friend, I'm a person who believes that honesty is the best policy. If we’re not honest, we can’t really get intimate with somebody, even on an emotional level, because we’re not being authentic—we’re not being genuine. So for me, I always believe that we should be honest, especially with the people we care about. Just try to have the conversation with no expectations about the outcome, because this person might not feel the same way, and that’s okay.

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