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How to deal with a toxic stepmom?

Itsss Amyyyy!

05/20/25 5:47pm

My stepmom is actually toxic and she does anything to make me mad, what do I do?

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wikiHow Editorial Team

05/20/25 5:48pm

If your stepmom is consistently making you upset, sit down and talk to your father or other parent one-on-one and let them know what's going on. Tell them how your stepmom is hurting you and be sure to mention how she's affecting your relationship with the rest of your family. There's a chance they don't know how your stepmom is making you feel, so being open and honest is the best policy.

Try to be kind to your stepmom and avoid topics that cause arguments between you, but also let her know when she does or says things that are disrespectful or unkind. If she continues behaviors that make you upset, it may just be best to limit what you tell her and try to focus on the other relationships in your life that make you feel fulfilled and happy.

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Rebecca Kason, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

05/20/25 6:34pm

If you're having trouble with a toxic stepmom, list out your wants and needs are and how your stepmother is making it difficult for you to have those met.

Find a time to sit down and talk with her. Communicate your wants and needs clearly, set firm boundaries, and explain what the consequence would be if those boundaries were not respected. Use “if/then" statements when you're explaining your feelings, but at the same time validate your stepmother's opinion.

Just make sure you be consistent with what you communicate and follow through with your statements. You may need to repeat yourself a few times so she can truly hear you. When your stepmother respects your boundaries, make sure you recognize it and reward her with something she wants.

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