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How often should couples have sex?

04/29/25 9:34pm

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Cath Hakanson
Global Sex Educator

07/02/25 1:01am

There is lots (and lots) of research that looks at the average number of times that couples have sex, and the averages haven't really changed over the years.
And I agree with the editorial team that it's about what works for you and your partner, and what's 'normal' for one couple might not be normal for another couple.
Communication is important when you're in a sexual relationship, so if you are unhappy about how much sex you do (or don't) have with your sexual partner, then it's important to talk about it.

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Danielle Bezalel
Sex Educator

07/30/25 6:24pm

I like to reframe that question - it shouldn't be "how often are we having sex," but instead "how much pleasure am I having every time that we have sex." You and your partner are the only people who need to be involved in figuring out how good your sex life is. You don't need to be comparing yourself to other people. The reality is, you should have as much sex as you and your partner want to have every week or every month or every year, whatever it is.

Even if you have sex once a week, for example, if you're not enjoying the kind of sex that you're having, it's irrelevant how much sex you're having. What really matters is that you're having a great experience. If you compare one person who has amazing sex with only one person for their entire life or another person who has okay sex with 20 people, that doesn't mean that the person who has sex with 20 people is having a better life. It's the same thing if you're comparing two couples, one of them has sex every day or every other day, and one has sex once a week. It doesn't necessarily mean that the couple who's having sex every day is having more pleasure. Maybe it's just that they have higher libidos.

An important piece of this conversation is that it's important to think about how masturbation can play a role in your own sex life, even when you're partnered. For people who have mismatched libidos or who are worried that they're not having enough sex, know that you have the ability to have sex with yourself whenever you want. I want to empower couples to be able to access that side of their pleasure in the shower, in the bed, or anywhere. There are so many ways to access pleasure on your own.

To give this answer some specific numbers, a study from 2015 showed that having sex once a week is a good frequency for maintaining a happy relationship. So that can be a ballpark number, but I also think that if people have sex once a month and they're really happy with their sex life, or even once every other month and they're really happy with their sex life, it's more about finding a person who you can get on the same page with about how much exactly how much sex that you want to have.

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wikiHow Editorial Team

04/29/25 9:36pm

There's no specific frequency for how often a couple "should" have sex. Have sex as often or as infrequently as you and your partner prefer, and prioritize quality over quantity: great sex less frequently is better than bad sex more often.

Statistically speaking, though, most couples have sex roughly once a week; however, people have sex less frequently as they age, and younger generations are having less sex than older ones.

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