Q&A for How to Ignore Your Husband

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  • Question
    What should I do when he says it's over and he has someone new?
    Community Answer
    Walk away with dignity, and let him go. Find closure. Know your worth.
  • Question
    Is the silent treatment good when dealing with a husband who is often violent when confronted?
    Community Answer
    It really depends on the person. If being silent seems to save you some aggression from your husband, then it's probably better to do that than to confront him. However, this does not sound like a healthy marriage, and you should not stay with someone who is violent toward you. This is unlikely to ever change, and you will have a miserable marriage. See How to Divorce Your Abusive Husband .
  • Question
    My husband hit me, what I should to do?
    Community Answer
    Call the police. Physical abuse can escalate. Please seek help, for yourself and your husband.
  • Question
    My husband is very aggressive and he picks fights for no reason. Then he ignores me. He always thinks he's right and he won't even listen to my feelings. How can I stop this?
    Community Answer
    This is abuse, even if he doesn't physically touch you. Insist that he goes with you to couples counseling. If he won't make an effort to do that, leave him. Go to a relative's house or look up domestic abuse shelters in your area.
  • Question
    I am unable to bear or see my husband at home. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    If it's been like this for a long time, and you don't think it's going to change, it would be best to consider divorce. There's no sense being stuck in a miserable relationship. If there is still hope, you can try to work things out with your husband. Tell him how you feel and what bothers you. Maybe get some marriage counseling.
  • Question
    My husband spends 3 or more hours in the bathroom on a daily basis. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    That's not a normal amount of bathroom time per day, so you need to talk to him about what he's doing while he's in there. If he's using the bathroom for three hours a day, then you should encourage him to see a doctor. If he's doing other things in there, then you should talk to him about why he feels like he needs to hide away in the bathroom to conduct his business.
  • Question
    What should I do if my husband yells at me in front of everybody?
    Community Answer
    This shows a serious lack of respect for you, both as a partner and a person. You should let him know that you will not tolerate this behavior if he intends to stay married to you. If he continues to yell at you, then you should think about divorce.
  • Question
    What should I do if my husband is talking to his ex?
    Community Answer
    Let him know that you don't feel like it's appropriate for him to talk to his ex. If he continues to do it despite your objections, you may want to consider counseling or divorce.
  • Question
    What should I do if I'm suffering because my husband hates sex?
    Community Answer
    You two may need to consider counseling. A professional might be able to help the two of you work through your sexual differences and find compromises to keep you both happy. However, you may have to decide whether or not your marriage is worth saving if you'll always be sexually unsatisfied.
  • Question
    My husband always gives priority to his mother and sister, not to me. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Talk to him and explain how his actions make you feel. If need be, seek out marital counseling.
  • Question
    Whenever I try to ignore my husband, he brings in his power tools from the garage and turns them all on to make a lot of noise. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Both of you sound immature. You need to work on your communication -- ignoring your husband instead of trying to fix the problem isn't healthy. However, if you need some space to calm down before talking about a problem, then let your husband know that. Your husband needs to learn how to manage his anger and frustration as well. If you two are unable to learn how to communicate in a healthy way on your own, you may need to seek counseling.
  • Question
    My husband never shows affection, he's only nice to me when he wants sex. What can I do?
    Consuela Newhams
    Community Answer
    Have you explained what you need from him? Was he like this before marriage? If so, why did you expect him to change? if not, explain that you miss how you used to be so close and tell him you want that back. Keep in mind that you can initiate snuggles too.
  • Question
    My husband's priority is always his mother, never me. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    For starters, appreciate (verbally, to him) the fact that in an age when so many people don't honor and take care of their parents, your husband does. That's a pretty awesome thing. Of course, as his spouse, you must be his first priority. If you're not feeling prioritized, something has to change. Praise him and then gently explain how you feel, providing examples of when he's put his mother first over you to back up your assertion. Ask if there's any way to work together to figure out how to balance his time and attention more.
  • Question
    My husband never says sorry to me; even when if it is his fault in disputes, it's me who has to come forward to patch up. Sometimes I feel as if I have lost self respect. What shall I do?
    AbigailAbernathy
    Top Answerer
    This is abusive behavior and you need to think long and hard about whether or not you'd be happy with this for the rest of your life. Would you let your brother, sister, or best friend be in your situation where they were unhappy, abused, and feeling as if they have no self respect? You deserve to be loved, happy, and to love yourself. If being with him is making you feel this horrible then you need to either seek marriage counseling, have a serious talk with him, or consider divorce.
  • Question
    When I want to talk about an issue that is important to me but "uncomfortable" to my husband (e.g.: money, in-laws, legal issues, etc.) he yells, walks away, or tells me to shut up. What can I do?
    Community Answer
    Try to explain to him calmly, when he is in a calm mood, that it is important to discuss things like this within a marriage and important, in general, to communicate rather than avoiding communication. Make sure he knows you are not trying to attack him or make him feel bad, just to have a normal, productive discussion - and make sure you are nice, not hostile, when you bring up such a topic. If he continues to react the same way, then marriage counseling, therapy for your husband to help him with whatever it is that makes him so insecure/aggressive, or divorce would be the best options to consider.
  • Question
    My husband is homesick and talks constantly about moving "home." It's not my home. I don't want to quit my job. I don't want to be a housewife. My parents care for our child for free. What to do?
    Community Answer
    You need to communicate honestly. Your marriage will never work if either of you feels unhappy and unheard. You need to talk openly and be willing to find a compromise.
  • Question
    My husband doesn't want me to touch his phone. If I do, he shouts hurtful words all night. I'm wondering what he's hiding. How should I handle this?
    Mb_61547f46e107
    Top Answerer
    It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your husband about your concerns. Explain why you feel the need to check his phone and why it's causing you distress. If he isn't willing to discuss it, consider seeking couples counseling to work through the issues in a safe, non-judgmental environment.
  • Question
    My husband often lies and ignores me. Most weekends, he travels to his mother's or elsewhere, and I feel left out and increasingly angry.
    Shahryar Sotoude
    Community Answer
    This is a complicated issue, and it's important to clarify the main problem, as it might not be what you think. Visiting a counselor alone could help you understand and address it effectively. Stay positive and good luck!
  • Question
    What should I do if my husband constantly finds fault, shows no respect for me and my family, and is never pleased with anything I do?
    Desiree
    Community Answer
    You can't force someone to respect you; it has to come from them. My best advice is to stand firm and not allow disrespect, which might mean staying with a trusted friend, leaving, or considering couples therapy.
  • Question
    How can I cope with feeling useless when I can't find a job and my husband compares me to others who are working?
    Mb_61547f46e107
    Top Answerer
    It's important to recognize that your feelings are valid and that finding a job can be challenging due to competition. Focus on industries or occupations that interest you to narrow your search, and network within those fields. Consider short-term roles for experience. Remember that your worth isn't determined by your job, and your husband's comments might come from concern. Stay positive and persevere.
  • Question
    How should I react to memories of my husband being flirtatious with every girlfriend I have ever had?
    Vanessa Minardi-McGray
    Community Answer
    This is a tough situation. Try discussing your feelings with him in a calm setting, using "I" statements like "I feel hurt when you flirt with my friends" to express how you feel. Avoid starting sentences with "you" to prevent him from becoming defensive.
  • Question
    My husband often stonewalls me, even over small things, for up to four days. What should I do?
    Mb_61547f46e107
    Top Answerer
    Dealing with stonewalling can be challenging. Try to understand why your husband is stonewalling, as he may need time to process his thoughts and feelings. Approach him in a non-confrontational way, express your desire to understand, and offer to listen without judgment. Give him space to process his feelings, but establish boundaries by communicating that prolonged stonewalling is not acceptable and that you need open communication.
  • Question
    How can I address my husband's insensitivity when it frequently hurts my feelings?
    Mb_61547f46e107
    Top Answerer
    Communicate your feelings to your husband and explain how his behavior impacts you. Suggest ways he can be more considerate and set boundaries for acceptable behavior. Practice self-care by engaging in activities that bring you joy, and consider seeking professional help to better understand your feelings and improve communication.
  • Question
    What should I do if my husband never helps with anything at home and spends hours on the computer?
    Mb_61547f46e107
    Top Answerer
    It can be difficult when one partner feels taken for granted. Communicate your needs and feelings to your husband in a respectful and non-confrontational way. Let him know why you feel frustrated and that you'd like him to help more around the house. Suggest various responsibilities for him, like cutting grass, and express your willingness to assist. Set aside time to spend together to strengthen your bond.
  • Question
    What should I do if my husband is using the silent treatment?
    Mb_61547f46e107
    Top Answerer
    Communicate openly and honestly with your husband about how his silence affects you. Ask him to explain his reasoning, be willing to listen, and try to come to a resolution together.
  • Question
    Why is using the silent treatment as punishment considered cruel, even if the husband is confrontational?
    Mb_61547f46e107
    Top Answerer
    It is not acceptable to use the silent treatment as punishment, even if the husband is confrontational. It's important to communicate constructively and respectfully to resolve the issue.
  • Question
    My husband has been addicted to porn for years, and now he even keeps pictures of other women on his phone. I feel ignored and upset; how can I address this issue?
    Mb_61547f46e107
    Top Answerer
    Seek professional help from a therapist or counselor experienced in treating pornography addiction. Communicate openly about the addiction's impact on your relationship, and set healthy boundaries, such as no pictures of other women on his phone. Prioritize self-care and manage your stress through activities like exercise or meditation.
  • Question
    My husband uses my past against me and says he doesn't enjoy sex because I'm too wide. What should I do?
    Mb_61547f46e107
    Top Answerer
    Your husband's comments are hurtful and disrespectful. Reflect on whether this is the relationship you want. Calmly discuss with him how his words affect you. If he doesn't change, consider seeing a counselor or therapist for guidance.
  • Question
    How do I handle a husband who goes mute for days or even months whenever we quarrel?
    Mb_61547f46e107
    Top Answerer
    Communicate calmly and honestly. Offer to discuss the issue and express your willingness to work together to reach a resolution. Stay calm and patient, and try to encourage your husband to talk in a non-confrontational way. If he remains silent, take a break and revisit the conversation when emotions have settled.
  • Question
    My boyfriend of 10 years has never mentioned marriage. We have both been married once, and it feels like we're in the boring part of a long-term marriage. My biggest issue is that we haven't had sex.
    Mb_61547f46e107
    Top Answerer
    Talk to your boyfriend about why you feel sex and romance have diminished in your relationship after 10 years. Find out if he shares these feelings and if he has any ideas for rekindling the spark.
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