Am I Enough for Him?

Take this test to see if you're good enough to date him!

Do you ever feel like you’re not living up to the standard your partner sets? Are you wondering if you’re the kind of person your partner needs? If you’re worried that you might not be “enough”—we’re here to give you the honest truth.

Answer these questions, and we’ll give you an honest outside perspective on whether or not you’re the right person for him. After, we’ll tell you why you feel that way, and give you plenty of tips to stop that feeling in its tracks.

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Questions Overview

1. Does conversation flow easily when you’re together?
  1. Super easy.
  2. Pretty easy.
  3. Not very easy.
  4. I can't or don't talk to him.
2. What's your biggest red flag?
  1. I'm not super social.
  2. I'm sort of high maintenance.
  3. I don't think I'm very interesting.
  4. I can be a little selfish.
3. What's your greatest strength that you bring to a relationship?
  1. I'm a great listener.
  2. I put in the effort needed to make a relationship a success.
  3. I'm a great communicator.
  4. I don't know.
4. Has he ever told you a secret?
  1. Never.
  2. A small one.
  3. A big one.
5. Do you share any hobbies, interests, or passions with him?
  1. Yes, many.
  2. Yes, some.
  3. Not really.
  4. I don't know.
6. Have you ever dated anyone before, or before him?
  1. I've had multiple relationships.
  2. I've had 1 or 2 relationships.
  3. I've never dated anyone.
7. If you could change anything about yourself right now, would you?
  1. No, I'm fine the way I am.
  2. There are maybe some small things.
  3. There are some big things I'd change.
8. Do you feel like he's out of your league?
  1. No
  2. Maybe
  3. Yes
9. Do you ever feel jealous of other people?
  1. Not at all.
  2. A little bit.
  3. I do feel a bit jealous, yeah.
10. How do you think other people see you?
  1. As someone they can trust.
  2. As someone interesting to watch out for.
  3. As just another acquaintance, or a stranger.
  4. I don't think most people know I exist.
11. What's your biggest challenge?
  1. Trusting others.
  2. Telling others how I feel.
  3. Feeling confident in myself.
  4. Understanding how others feel.
12. Would you say you're a people pleaser?
  1. Yes. I like it when other people are happy.
  2. Sort of. My own happiness is important too, though.
  3. Not really. My own needs come first.

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too much<\/I> for him!","meaning":"Based on your answers, we're pretty confident that you\u2019re an amazing person. Not only are you a catch, but you might even be out of his league, to be honest. Of course, \"leagues\" don't really exist when it comes to love\u2014we just mean that you have absolutely nothing to worry about. You're fun, thoughtful, interesting, and easy to love, and if he doesn't see that, then that\u2019s his problem. There are plenty of other guys out there who'd line up for a chance with you. Really, you should be asking, \"Is he<\/i> enough for me<\/i>?\"","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Enough-for-Someone"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Feeling-Like-Your-Life-Isn%27t-Good-Enough"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Feel Like You\u2019re Good Enough for Your Partner","id":14156015,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Enough-for-Someone","relUrl":"\/Be-Enough-for-Someone","image":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/bf\/Be-Enough-for-Someone-Step-13.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Be-Enough-for-Someone-Step-13.jpg","alt":"How to Feel Like You\u2019re Good Enough for Your Partner"},{"title":"How to Stop Feeling Like Your Life Isn't Good Enough","id":445482,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Feeling-Like-Your-Life-Isn%27t-Good-Enough","relUrl":"\/Stop-Feeling-Like-Your-Life-Isn%27t-Good-Enough","image":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/af\/Stop-Feeling-Like-Your-Life-Isn%27t-Good-Enough-Step-12-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Feeling-Like-Your-Life-Isn%27t-Good-Enough-Step-12-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Stop Feeling Like Your Life Isn't Good Enough"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":2,"text":"You're definitely enough for him.","meaning":"Based on your answers, you've got nothing to worry about! You're a thoughtful, interesting, engaging, and fun person, and those are all the key ingredients to a good romantic partner. You've got nothing to worry about, but you may want to ask yourself why you don't think you're all that.

If he makes you feel less than the incredible person you are, maybe he's the one who's not good enough for you! Or, if he just seems too good to be true, then we're here to tell you that love often feels that way. That could just be a sign that you think he\u2019s really special (but trust us: you are too!).

No matter the case, breathe easy. You're a total catch, and you deserve someone who sees that!","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Enough-for-Someone"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Feeling-Like-Your-Life-Isn%27t-Good-Enough"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Feel Like You\u2019re Good Enough for Your Partner","id":14156015,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Enough-for-Someone","relUrl":"\/Be-Enough-for-Someone","image":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/bf\/Be-Enough-for-Someone-Step-13.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Be-Enough-for-Someone-Step-13.jpg","alt":"How to Feel Like You\u2019re Good Enough for Your Partner"},{"title":"How to Stop Feeling Like Your Life Isn't Good Enough","id":445482,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Feeling-Like-Your-Life-Isn%27t-Good-Enough","relUrl":"\/Stop-Feeling-Like-Your-Life-Isn%27t-Good-Enough","image":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/af\/Stop-Feeling-Like-Your-Life-Isn%27t-Good-Enough-Step-12-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Feeling-Like-Your-Life-Isn%27t-Good-Enough-Step-12-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Stop Feeling Like Your Life Isn't Good Enough"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":3,"text":"You're enough, you just don't see it yet!","meaning":"Based on your answers, we can tell that you're a thoughtful, fun, and loving partner, but maybe you're having trouble expressing that. You've got nothing to worry about, and you're definitely enough, but the question now is how can you feel it?

It could be that he doesn't appreciate you for who you are, in which case, he's probably the one who's not enough for you. If that sounds like the situation, then take it from us: there are plenty of guys who'd kill for a shot with you!

If the problem is that you just don't feel worthy, or that it feels like he's out of your league, then we're here to tell you that when it comes to love, the whole \"league\" thing is a myth! What matters is that you're giving as much as you get in return, and showing him that you wouldn't want to be with anyone else. That's love!","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Enough-for-Someone"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Feeling-Like-Your-Life-Isn%27t-Good-Enough"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Feel Like You\u2019re Good Enough for Your Partner","id":14156015,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Enough-for-Someone","relUrl":"\/Be-Enough-for-Someone","image":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/bf\/Be-Enough-for-Someone-Step-13.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Be-Enough-for-Someone-Step-13.jpg","alt":"How to Feel Like You\u2019re Good Enough for Your Partner"},{"title":"How to Stop Feeling Like Your Life Isn't Good Enough","id":445482,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Feeling-Like-Your-Life-Isn%27t-Good-Enough","relUrl":"\/Stop-Feeling-Like-Your-Life-Isn%27t-Good-Enough","image":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/af\/Stop-Feeling-Like-Your-Life-Isn%27t-Good-Enough-Step-12-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Feeling-Like-Your-Life-Isn%27t-Good-Enough-Step-12-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Stop Feeling Like Your Life Isn't Good Enough"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""}]" class="quiz_results_data"/>\"Love<\/picture>","alt":"Love Language Quiz"},{"title":"How Well Do I Know My Partner Quiz","id":14325752,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Relationship-Quiz","relUrl":"\/Relationships\/Relationship-Quiz","image":"\"Relationship<\/picture>","alt":"How Well Do I Know My Partner Quiz"},{"title":"How High Are My Dating Standards Quiz","id":14493791,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Are-Your-Standards-High-Test","relUrl":"\/Relationships\/Are-Your-Standards-High-Test","image":"\"Are<\/picture>","alt":"How High Are My Dating Standards Quiz"}],"number":1},{"text":"I follow the lead.","result":"Nice! In that case, check out these quizzes we picked just for you:","next_quizzes":[{"title":"Attachment Style Quiz","id":14028169,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Attachment-Style-Quiz","relUrl":"\/Relationships\/Attachment-Style-Quiz","image":"\"Attachment<\/picture>","alt":"Attachment Style Quiz"},{"title":"Couple Compatibility Test","id":13816755,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Couple-Compatibility-Test","relUrl":"\/Relationships\/Couple-Compatibility-Test","image":"\"Couple<\/picture>","alt":"Couple Compatibility Test"},{"title":"How Much Do I Like Him Quiz","id":14542974,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/The-Level-of-Your-Feeling-for-Him","relUrl":"\/Relationships\/The-Level-of-Your-Feeling-for-Him","image":"\"The<\/picture>","alt":"How Much Do I Like Him Quiz"}],"number":2}]}" class="quiz_questionnaire_data"/>

Being Enough

Every relationship comes with questions and uncertainties. Sometimes, it’s hard not to compare yourself to your partner, or to think they’re better than you, and start asking yourself if you really deserve them. When you struggle with self-esteem, it’s easy to feel like you don’t deserve things like love or a relationship. Other people seem out of reach, and you can sometimes feel like they shouldn’t be wasting their time on you. But that’s not true! In fact, it couldn’t be further from the truth. Everyone’s got baggage, but everyone is also worthy of love and respect, and deserves to be happy with someone who makes them happy.

Why do I feel like I’m not enough for him?
Usually, these feelings stem from insecurity or low self-esteem. You look at your partner with appreciation and admiration, but you don’t give yourself that same appreciation, even though you deserve it just as much. This insecurity may be a long-term issue you’ve had for a while, or it may be something new to the relationship. In any case, you’re comparing yourself to him, when that isn’t fair to either of you. He chose you, so he sees the goodness in you that you don’t see.

So, how can you start believing that you’re all that? Here are some ways to start:

Remind yourself of what you have to offer. What are you good at? What are your talents, your skills? When you have something you can be proud of, it becomes much easier to see your own value. And if you’re thinking, “I don’t have any skills or talents,” we guarantee that’s not true! Are you kind? Patient? A good listener? Respectful? Encouraging? Empathetic? These are all vital qualities in a romantic partner, and they go a long, long way!

  • If you feel comfortable, ask your partner why they like you. They’ll probably have some good answers that you might never have thought of before!

Remind yourself that they’re flawed, too.
When you’re pining after someone, or even in love, it’s easy to put them on a pedestal. After all, you’re seeing things through heart-shaped glasses. But they’re a person, too, and that means they’ve got their own flaws and shortcomings. It’s important to see them as a real person, not just to temper your expectations, but to give them the respect and consideration they deserve, and recognize them as a complex being, just like you are. If you knew your crush struggled with their own self-esteem, would you love them any less? No! So why should they want you any less?

Reciprocate the effort.
Once you’re in a relationship, or even before, the final key is to give what you get. If they’re going all-out to make you feel spoiled and loved, do the same for them! Or, show them the amount of love you want to be shown, to help them see what you need. It might take some practice to find a balance, but it’s all about telling them that they’re worth it, just like you are.

Ask yourself if they’re enough for you .
If you’re chasing after someone who won’t give you the time of day, or dating someone who makes you feel like you’re not the complete package, then it could be that you’re focusing your attention on the wrong person. You deserve someone who makes you happy, and who you enjoy being with. If you don’t, it might be time to consider that you might be happier with someone else. And trust us—someone else is out there!

Do something for your partner that only you can do.
Remind yourself of your own value by doing something kind for him. If you’re a great cook, cook him an excellent meal. If you’re a fabulous artist, make him something beautiful. If there are things you both love doing together, like hitting the museum or going on a run, suggest you do them soon. When you remember why your relationship works and what you bring to the table, you feel more confident.

Follow the 3-6-9 rule.
This rule states that you shouldn’t make any big relationship decisions or have sex until 3, 6, or 9 months into the relationship, depending on your comfort level. It helps you get to know your partner better and take things slow, so that you don’t feel like you’re chasing to catch up to him, or that you’ve made some big mistake by starting the relationship and moving too fast.

Follow the 70/30 rule. The 70/30 rule says that couples should spend 70% of their time together and 30% of their time apart. This helps you grow closer while still staying independent and leading your own lives. If you have your own life, you’ll stop feeling dependent on your partner for validation, and start to understand that you bring a whole lot to the table.

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