How to Deal With Suicide

Dealing with suicide can be difficult personally, for those around you, and for society in general. It may be the death of someone close to you. Perhaps, someone in your community has died by suicide. Maybe you are tackling suicide as a larger social issue. With the right strategies, resources and determination, you can deal with suicide. If you are looking for help with your own suicidal feelings, see Cope with Suicidal Thoughts.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Coping with the Suicide of a Loved One

  1. Although everyone grieves differently, you will likely experience some or most of the common stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). These stages are fluid, and people can move back and forth between them for a while before they resolve. Understand that these are natural responses to loss and let yourself experience these feelings. [1] Working through these emotions will help you fully deal with the suicide.
    • Keep a daily journal about your feelings and emotions about the suicide. Review your journal every couple of days and try to notice as you move through the stages of grief.
    • You might feel angry at the person for choosing suicide or angry with yourself for not stopping it. If so, try writing a letter expressing your anger (either to the person or write it to yourself).
    • Remember that it is okay to cry and don’t judge yourself for having any of these feelings. They are all normal reactions.
    • Be patient with yourself. There is no time limit for grieving, so don’t rush yourself.
  2. There will be days that it is really hard to handle your grief from the suicide. [2] Learn some coping strategies that you can use to calm yourself when you are feeling anxious, depressed, or upset. These coping mechanisms will help you deal with the suicide.
    • Be aware of triggers like birthdays or holidays, that may cause strong feelings of loss, so that you aren’t emotionally unprepared.
    • Try deep breathing when you find yourself getting upset. Inhale deeply, hold it, and then exhale slowly. Repeat this a few times.
    • Getting some exercise (although it's often the last thing you want to do) can help wonders by flushing out increased stress hormones in your body.
    • Make time to do something you enjoy like painting, singing, cooking, or playing the guitar.
    • Use mindfulness techniques to acknowledge your feelings without letting them overwhelm you.
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  3. Although there will be times that you need to be alone, don’t completely isolate yourself. You can’t deal with the suicide of a loved one on your own. Seek out those close to you and allow your friends, family, and community to support you. [3]
    • When people offer to help, think about saying yes. Give them a task that they can take off your plate to make your life easier. You need to focus on grieving and not daily responsibilities.
    • Try saying, “You can help me right now by just listening to me talk right now.” Let them know the best way to support you.
    • It’s okay to tell them when you need to be alone. You might say, “Right now, I need to be alone. Would you call and check on me later tonight?”
    • Join a support group or forum so that you can connect with people that have been or are going through what you are. Try to give the support group at least three tries. Many people hate the first visit because it is so emotional. After the third visit, if you see no benefit or feel worse, it may not be for you.
  4. Specialists such as grief counselors as well as professionals like family therapists can help you cope with the suicide of a loved one. They can help you work through the stages of grief and help you address the feelings you have specific to suicide. They can also teach you effective coping strategies.
    • If you witnessed the suicide or found the body, you have experienced a serious trauma and should seek professional help. [4]
    • If your grief is preventing you from functioning normally for an extended period of time, may want to discuss medication with a professional as an option to help you deal with it.
    • Check with your physician, guidance counselor, or another trusted person for referrals to professionals that can help you.
    • You may also want to visit with a spiritual advisor, as suicide can often result in a spiritual crisis.
  5. The grief caused by losing someone can be even stronger if that person died by suicide. It can be easy to not eat or sleep, but this can cause you to be more emotional, tired, and weaken your immune system in general. In order to effectively cope with the suicide of a loved one, you have to take care of your health.
    • Eat balanced meals throughout the day. Make sure you are not bingeing or skipping meals. Try to eat lots of fruits and vegetables, as well as drink water.
    • Go to bed at the same time each night. Develop a bedtime routine to let your body know it is time to rest.
    • Get physical activity. Running, swimming, playing basketball, or doing tai chi are excellent ways to be healthy, as well as release some of the mental and emotional stress you are feeling.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Handling a Suicide in Your Community

  1. Although the person may not have been close to you or even known by you personally, you may still have strong feelings about a suicide. If a suicide has occurred in your neighborhood, school, workplace, or local community you can deal with it by first processing your personal feelings. [5]
    • You may not need to keep a full journal, but writing about it can help you acknowledge what you may be feeling.
    • Share your feelings with others. Your neighbors, co-workers and classmates are likely dealing with the same confusion, disbelief and other feelings that you are experiencing.
    • Think about doing something to commemorate or honor this person, as this can be very helpful with community healing. Organize a walk or vigil, or donate to a charity in honor of the person.
  2. The suicide of a community member can have long-term effects, in addition to the immediate difficulties. Although it may be hard, take the time to think about how the loss of this person is going to affect their immediate family, extended family, and the community. [6]
    • For example, if a student at your child’s school died by suicide, how will this be explained to your other children? Think about how will it emotionally impact them now and in the future? [7]
    • If it is a neighbor, for example, will this death impact their family income temporarily or long-term? Consider working with other neighbors to start a fund to assist the family.
    • If one of your employees has died by suicide you will want to think about the impact this will have on other employees health and morale.
  3. Just as you might need help dealing with this suicide, the people around you will likely need help making sense of what happened and coping with their feelings about it. [8] Deal with the suicide and help others deal with it by offering support when you can.
    • Organizations such as the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention provide resources that can be shared with students at your school or in the workplace. [9]
    • If it was a neighbor, work with a mental health or community agency to have professionals available to speak with neighbors and community members about what happened.
    • Ask those around you what type of support they need most from you. For example, ask your co-worker if there is anything you can do to help them during this time.
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Addressing Suicide as a Societal Issue

  1. Research the statistics on how many people commit suicide or attempt it. Learn about strategies and tools for suicide prevention. You will better understand how to deal with suicide as a serious issue in society if you understand more about it.
    • Read Fact Sheets, reports, and articles by reputable agencies and organizations like the Centers for Disease Control or the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention . [10]
    • Talk to professionals and specialists about the most effective ways to prevent suicide and address it as a social problem.
    • Attend trainings, information sessions, and other activities related to suicide prevention.
    • Compile a reference list of some of the best sources you have found for dealing with suicide.
  2. The more people understand about suicide, they better they will be able to deal with it. Addressing the shame and misunderstandings about suicide is one of the best things you can do to combat suicide as a social issue.
    • Have open conversations and discussions about suicide with your friends, co-workers, and other community members. It is important to know that this will NOT cause people to consider suicide. Common thought is often to avoid the topic so as not to put the idea in peoples' heads.
    • Stress the fact that suicide is not a sign of mental, spiritual or emotional weakness.
    • Encourage others to use the terms ‘died by suicide’, ‘died of suicide’, or ‘died from suicide’ rather than the stigmatizing term ‘committed suicide’.
  3. One way to join the movement to prevent suicide is to inform people about the most common risk factors and warning signs associated with suicide and suicidal attempts. [11] When people know what to look for, they can address it.
    • You must also educate people on what to do if they notice any of these warning signs or risk factors in someone. One thing they can do is offer to call and set up an appointment for them with a counselor — often the depressed person is too symptomatic to walk through the steps of this process. At least, they need to notify family members or next of kin to the individual if they are worried.
    • Join an organization that educates the public about suicide prevention. Participate in activities to educate others about how to prevent suicide.
    • Work with leaders at your school, church, or community center to set up a suicide prevention education center or program.
    • Ask agencies or organizations to hold trainings about recognizing the warning signs and risk factors for suicide. Organize the event yourself, if necessary.
  4. Making people aware that there is help available for them if they are considering suicide is one concrete way to deal with suicide as a societal issue. [12] Make sure that your community members know what websites, support groups agencies, and hotlines are available to help them with their issues and feelings.
    • People should know they can call the emergency services or a suicide lifeline at any time of day or night. They can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800- 273-8255 or call 1-800-SUICIDE.
    • Post information about crisis and suicide prevention resources where people can access them with some sense of privacy.
    • For example, include information like the website for WebMD Crisis Resource Links at the bottom of the weekly newsletter or as a link on your organization’s website. [13]
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How long does it take to grieve after a suicide?
    William Gardner, PsyD
    Clinical Psychologist
    William Gardner, Psy.D. is a Clinical Psychologist in private practice located in San Francisco, CA’s financial district. With over 10 years of clinical experience, Dr. Gardner provides individually tailored psychotherapy for adults using cognitive behavioral techniques, to reduce symptoms and improve overall functioning. Dr. Gardner earned his PsyD from Stanford University in 2009, specializing in evidence-based practices. He then completed a post-doc fellowship at Kaiser Permanente.
    William Gardner, PsyD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    It really depends on what your relationship with the person was and how you personally process grief. Everyone goes through the stages of grief differently and there's no right or wrong day to go through a sudden loss like this. For some people, it may take a month. For other people, it can take a lot longer or shorter. Just be sure to reach out for help if you find it hard to process what you're feeling.
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      Tips

      • No matter what the situation, dealing with suicide will be a lot easier if you rely on those around you for help.
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      Warnings

      • Children who experience a suicide should be provided with professional support to make sure they have no long-term problems.
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      References

      1. ↑ William Gardner, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 25 July 2019.
      2. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/end-of-life/in-depth/suicide/art-20044900?pg=2
      3. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/end-of-life/in-depth/suicide/art-20044900?pg=2
      4. ↑ http://afsp.org/find-support/ive-lost-someone/taking-care-of-yourself/
      5. ↑ William Gardner, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 25 July 2019.
      6. ↑ http://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(02)07958-8/abstract
      7. ↑ http://afsp.org/find-support/ive-lost-someone/practical-information-for-immediately-after-a-loss/
      8. ↑ http://www.speakingofsuicide.com/2013/05/29/coping-with-the-suicide-of-a-loved-one/
      9. ↑ http://afsp.org/find-support/ive-lost-someone/
      1. ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/asap_suicide_issue2-a.pdf
      2. ↑ [ http://careforyourmind.org/strategies-for-addressing-youth-suicide-and-the-barriers-to-effective-treatment/
      3. ↑ https://leb.fbi.gov/2015/september/addressing-officer-crisis-and-suicide-improving-officer-wellness
      4. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/help/crisis-resources

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