Even if you don't have many friends to do stuff together, it doesn't mean you can't have fun. There are lots of ways to enjoy being alone. Think about that big world out there. There are so many things to explore and new things to do. But life is too short to do them all with people around you, always telling you what to do or insisting you follow the group's desires. If you are alone, you are free. Being alone does not need to be embarrassing - it can be liberating.
Steps
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Revise the things that you've done, or that you want to do. Think of what you want to have in this life, and what life means to you. Develop your own philosophy about life. Part of being alone is not being overly influenced by others' values and perspectives.
- Make a list of things you enjoy and rate them on a scale of 1-10. When you know you'll have some alone time, plan to do some of the things you rate highest, like 8-10. [1]
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Expert Source
Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP
Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Expert Interview. 29 November 2021.
- Make a list of things you enjoy and rate them on a scale of 1-10. When you know you'll have some alone time, plan to do some of the things you rate highest, like 8-10. [1]
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Expert Source
Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP
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Look in the mirror every morning and say firmly "I'm beautiful and I'm worth it."
- Daily affirmations can be a great way to improve your self-esteem. [2]
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Expert Source
Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP
Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Expert Interview. 29 November 2021.
Advertisement - Daily affirmations can be a great way to improve your self-esteem. [2]
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Expert Source
Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP
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If you need someone or something to talk to but cannot get a friend, or you just don't want someone else in your life; get a pet. It can be a dog, a cat, a bird or even a fish. Anything you can buy in a pet shop. Then name it & talk to it. Let it be your best friend.
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Record every beautiful moment you live by yourself. You can write them in a journal, or record a video when great things are happening and tell your thoughts. Keep a diary and write about your feelings and reactions to the day's events.
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Organize your room entirely. Being so organized will give you confidence and power. Be thorough, and ruthless if you have to. Clear out all the things in your closet and reorder them by color and type. Throw out the clothes you don't wear anymore, or adapt them to a different style. Clear out your bookcase and organize your possessions in any way that you like. [3] X Expert Source Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP
Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Expert Interview. 29 November 2021. [4] X Research source -
Go shopping and visit stores you've never been, because your friends never wanted to go. Buy yourself a present, have it wrapped, open it later and be surprised!
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Have long relaxing baths. Add fragrances, get a flower you like and put its petals in the water. Burn some candles, have a drink and just chill out! [5] X Research source
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Make a habit of bodily care after your showers and baths. Use body lotions regularly, use hand/face/body creams after showers, put on deodorant and perfume. Being well cared for will increase your self-esteem. Don't be lazy, just do it and you'll feel great.
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Use your alone time to correct bad habits. Bad or unhealthy habits hold you back in life and prevent personal growth. For example, if you smoke, try to give up. Most people don't give up successfully the first time, but every cigarette you don't smoke, or chocolate bar you don't eat, is doing you good. [6] X Research source
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Find music to help express the alone you. Music is can be enjoyed with others, but is brilliant as a personal and lonely way to spend your time. Search on iTunes, go to CD stores or just go on last.fm. You might find many new artists and genres that you've never even heard of. Start a music collection.
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Watch films or television. You can watch anything you want, because you don't have to bend to the tastes of your friends. Go to the cinema (no one actually cares if you're alone), or just get some DVDs and have your own movie night with some popcorn and snacks.
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Try new makeup styles. You don't have to copy anything your friends are doing. Try searching for interesting tutorials on YouTube.
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Create a blog. Write about what you are interested in. You could even blog about being alone, and encourage others to spend more time alone.
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Go for a walk. See and feel the beauty of nature. [7] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
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Go to the places you've always wanted to go but can't find time to. Life is short, don't postpone anything. Create time for them. [8] X Research source
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Go to a funfair and get on things that increase adrenaline!
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Learn to cook for yourself. Make all the foods you like and experiment to find new things. Just don't starve yourself; also don't eat only junk food. [9] X Research source
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Read and improve your knowledge. Spend some of your alone time exercising your brain on a nonfiction, or just relax with a novel. Read wherever you like, it doesn't have to be at home. [10] X Research source
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Write. A story, a poem, an essay, an article. Whatever you want.
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Date yourself! It sounds funny but you deserve it! Go to a restaurant and have a great night ordering whatever you want [11] X Research source .
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Try something different from the supermarket. Be careful doing it if they are unknown foods or just unhealthy. [12] X Trustworthy Source American Heart Association Leading nonprofit that funds medical research and public education Go to source
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Make crafts. Design your own charms, stationery, or jewelry. Create figures from felt and use them as a pendant.
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Give away your old clothes to charities. Or giveaway whatever you don't need anymore.
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Try a new hairstyle.
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Try speaking a new language. Get lessons. You can even do this online with native speakers.
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Do exercises to keep up your health, allowing you to enjoy your lonely life! [13] X Research source
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If you are addicted to the internet, try to delete some accounts and block the sites you waste most of your time on. Don't be afraid to do it, be firm with yourself. Don't waste too much of your valuable time on the internet. [14] X Research source
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Every night before you sleep, think over the good things you have in this life. Be grateful for as many things as you can think of. [15] X Research source
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Work / study. Don't forget that you have to do that to have money or to get a decent job. [16] X Research source
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Try your hand at painting, or drawing, or really any kind of art that seems worthwhile to you. Pick something expressive, but don't pick anything too expensive until you know you really like it. [17] X Research source
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Make a list of things you need/want and save money to buy them.
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Make a doll / a toy yourself.
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Visit your old relatives. Take some flowers and surprise them.
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Give a concert yourself. It doesn't matter if your voice is bad or good, just sing whatever you want, OUT LOUD!
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Collect something. You can collect coins, tickets, seashells, plush toys, figurines, film memorabilia, jewelry, lipsticks, pencils, journals, video games, socks, anything - the choices are endless! Learn about the history of the item you collect.
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Watch cartoons you used to watch as a kid.
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Make lists of anything you want to categorize. Things you want to do before you die, your ambitions, best holiday destinations, your best and worst attributes, favorite artists.Advertisement
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do you have fun when you are lonely?Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.Clinical Therapist & Adjunct ProfessorExpert AnswerMake sure to do diverse activities, which may include a hobby, self-care, lazy activities, reaching out to a friend or getting out of the house. Sometimes the things we think we need are not what really makes us feel good, so you gotta experiment a little bit.
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QuestionCan you be happy and lonely at the same time?Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.Clinical Therapist & Adjunct ProfessorExpert AnswerYes, you can! Finding something that you enjoy doing and that brings you happiness can make the world of a difference between a lonely night at home or a relaxing time rejuvenating your inner self. Showing gratitude is a great way to be thankful for the opportunity to be able to do so.
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QuestionHow do you embrace alone time?Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.Clinical Therapist & Adjunct ProfessorExpert AnswerUnderstand that being alone can be difficult, but it can also be a really healing time. Try new things and see if you can add anything to your toolbox of “feel-good” activities. Try mindfulness or meditation, get a workout in, prepare healthy food, socialize, clean or organize your space and truly enjoy the time you have.
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Tips
- Be confident in your loneliness. You're not pathetic just because you don't spend every second with other people.Thanks
- Love what you are and embrace it.Thanks
- Realize the beauty in everything.Thanks
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Warnings
- Don't be cold to your family if you live with them; just love them and consider them a gift that not everyone can has.Thanks
- These are just a few ideas, don't restrict yourself.Thanks
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References
- ↑ Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor. Expert Interview. 29 November 2021.
- ↑ Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor. Expert Interview. 29 November 2021.
- ↑ Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor. Expert Interview. 29 November 2021.
- ↑ https://www.apartmenttherapy.com/how-to-clean-your-bedroom-thoroughly-and-efficiently-a-quick-easy-guide-221947
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7zJUuNTA-o
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/201712/how-break-bad-habits
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/in-depth/walking/art-20046261
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/johnnyjet/2017/10/23/ten-tips-for-traveling-alone/
- ↑ https://www.bonappetit.com/test-kitchen/cooking-tips/article/how-to-learn-to-cook
- ↑ https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/585137/6-benefits-reading-every-day
- ↑ https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/six-ways-to-start-the-writing-process.html
- ↑ https://www.heart.org/en/healthy-living/go-red-get-fit/unhealthy-foods
- ↑ https://www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/features/fitness-beginners-guide#1
- ↑ https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/how-to-quit-mindlessly-surfing-the-internet-and-actually-get-stuff-done/
- ↑ https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/60-things-thankful-for-life.html
- ↑ https://lifehacker.com/how-to-pick-a-career-you-actually-like-5978475
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/how-do-life/201605/choosing-hobby
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