Q&A for How to Avoid Falling in Love With a Friend

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  • Question
    How do I not get feelings for my best friend?
    Joshua Pompey
    Relationship Expert
    Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.
    Relationship Expert
    Expert Answer
    You can only stop falling in love with them if you meet somebody else and strongly come to terms with the fact that this person is not interested in you. If you cannot come to terms with this fact or are unable to develop feelings for someone else, I think that, unfortunately, you have to do the hard thing and just break up with the friendship until those feelings dissipate or go away.
  • Question
    I'm a girl, but I fell in love with a guy who is gay. Is that okay? Should I tell him?
    Community Answer
    You can't help who you fall in love with, and you can tell him if you want, but if he's gay he's not going to date you. It would be best to find someone else.
  • Question
    I only developed feelings for my crush when we became friends. How can I prevent my feelings from going deeper?
    Community Answer
    Remember, it is just a crush. Crushes come and they go. If you no longer want these feelings, just think of everything that bothers you about him. It'll make you like him less and less. If the things you dislike about him turn into things you like, then, you are in love.
  • Question
    How can I stop liking a guy who's too old for me?
    Community Answer
    Try to find someone else to get interested in. Until you have a different love interest, it will be hard to stop thinking about the person you currently like.
  • Question
    Is it true that the person can love only once in his life?
    Community Answer
    Some people experience only one great love in their lives, but many people love passionately more than one person. There are no set rules with this.
  • Question
    How do I avoid falling in love with someone who talks to me daily and appears to be very compatible with me?
    Animebread
    Top Answerer
    Try to distance yourself from them and hang out with your other friends.
  • Question
    How do I avoid telling my friend I'm in love with her so I don't ruin our friendship?
    Community Answer
    It's hard to hide intense feelings like love. But it's a risk to tell your friend how you really feel since you don't know how she'll react. If the friendship is important to you and you don't want to lose it, remind yourself that staying friends is more important to you than any romance. In time, your friend may develop romantic feelings for you or you may decide that you're willing to risk the friendship to tell her how you really feel.
  • Question
    I am a 20-year-old guy, and I used to talk with a girl every day for long hours, and now I think I am falling in love with her. I told her and she said she doesn't want a relationship. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    If she doesn't want a relationship, there's nothing you can do about that. Take some time and space away from this friendship for a while. No more long hours on the phone. Distract yourself with other things, like your other friends, hobbies, school/work, etc. When you do have to see her/talk to her, just remind yourself that a relationship isn't going to happen.
  • Question
    I'm a gal, and I have a female friend I'm seriously in love with, I've told her about it and it's clearly showing that she doesn't really have feelings for me. How do I get over the feelings?
    Community Answer
    You should try and move on because you probably value your friendship with her enough to stop coming on to her, which could end up ruining your relationship.
  • Question
    I developed feelings toward a friend after I found out he liked me, but I don't want to have these feelings. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    If you don't want to date this friend for whatever reason, just tell him that you're not interested. Tell yourself that this is a friend and nothing more. If necessary, take a break from the friendship and wait for the feelings to subside a little.
  • Question
    My boy best friend has a girlfriend and I get jealous every time we talk about her, what should I do? Is it normal to feel jealous?
    Community Answer
    It is normal to feel jealous, because it happens to all of us. However, in your case, that is a little too out of context to be jealous because that feels like you like him. Try to change the topic when you can.
  • Question
    When I go outside and see any strange boys, I feel uncomfortable and have feelings I can't explain.
    Community Answer
    You may have a crush on them physically. For example, seeing a celebrity guy who is 'hot'.
  • Question
    I have a crush on a friend who I've known since I was 13. We chat and hang out a lot, but I feel she does not want a relationship with me, and I don't want to ruin the friendship. Any advice?
    Community Answer
    Think about how much you value this friendship and how much you don't want to lose her. If your instincts are telling you that she doesn't feel the same way, you're probably right. Just tell yourself, "Yes, she's great, but she's not the one for me." Use some of the tips in the article, and train yourself to think of her as a friend and nothing more.
  • Question
    What should I do when I became the girlfriend of my BFF's crush so I don't hurt anyone?
    Community Answer
    If you started dating the person knowing it was your BFF's crush, she's going to be hurt. There's nothing you can do about that, unless you're willing to break up with him. If you didn't know he was your BFF's crush, tell her that. Tell her you're sorry, and ask her if she wants you to break up with him. She will most likely say no, and she'll be less hurt because she'll know you cared enough to ask her this.
  • Question
    I like a guy and my friend told him. He isn't distancing himself from me, he's getting closer instead. What does it mean?
    Community Answer
    Probably that he likes you! You're in luck. Now it's time to make a move. Perhaps you could ask him to go to a movie.
  • Question
    I think me and my friend could be great together. The friendship is most important, for sure, but what if we really are meant for each other?
    Rahxrah101
    Community Answer
    If you think you could be really great together, you're going to have to take the risk and tell them how you feel. Maybe it won't end up as well as you hoped, but you might miss out on a great opportunity if you don't do anything. You should tell them how you feel.
  • Question
    There's a guy I'm in love with, but he loves someone else. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    You could try to get his attention, or you can just be happy for him and find yourself someone else.
  • Question
    I'm in middle school, and really like a guy. He has made a joke about his sexuality, but I'm not sure if he was serious about being homosexual. Why am I so embarrassed about asking him on a date?
    Community Answer
    You're just afraid of being rejected, which everybody finds embarrassing. That's perfectly normal. But even though rejection stinks, we all go through it, and it's really not that big of a deal. If I were you, I'd first just ask him directly about his sexuality, like, "Hey, were you kidding the other day when you said [whatever he said that made you think he was gay]." Then if he says that he is gay, tell him you like him or ask him out.
  • Question
    I was able to express my feelings to my friend. He told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship due to certain untold reasons. I am trying to forget him but he keeps communicating with me. What do I do?
    Lrb
    Community Answer
    If you aren't able to be friends with him right now because he doesn't want to date, tell him that you need a break from him for a little bit to recollect. If you want to forget him entirely, let him know that and stop responding to incoming mail. Block if needed. It just sounds like you need a moment to recollect, we've all been there! Ask for time and when your heart is ready for the friendship again, let him know and talk about it. Communication is the key to success in romance, the earlier you learn the more love you'll keep in your life.
  • Question
    I love one guy and he loves me, but friends do not allow me to talk to him or to make a relationship with him. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    If your friends are holding you back from something like this, they obviously aren't very good friends. I recommend that you go and get with your man and find some new, better friends who don't try to control you.
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