Q&A for How to Cope With Gender Dysphoria

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  • Question
    What triggers your gender dysphoria?
    Shahpar Mirza
    Community Transgender Expert
    Shahpar Mirza is a Community Transgender Expert who began his transition from female-to-male (FTM) starting in 2016. He has had hormone replacement therapy since 2017 and underwent a double mastectomy (top surgery) in April 2018. Through experiences such as working for the Queer Student Resources Center at Stanford University, he is passionate about spreading more awareness about the transgender community and clarifying common misconceptions people may have. He received his BS in Product Design from Stanford University in 2019.
    Community Transgender Expert
    Expert Answer
    Try to identify the root of your gender dysphoria. For example, if your voice and chest triggers your dysphoria, you can take steps to change those things.
  • Question
    How can I help my child with gender dysphoria?
    Inge Hansen, PsyD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Inge Hansen, PsyD, is the Director of Well-Being at Stanford University and the Weiland Health Initiative. Dr. Hansen has professional interests in social justice and gender and sexual diversity. She earned her PsyD from the California School of Professional Psychology with specialized training in the area of gender and sexual identity. She is the co-author of The Ethical Sellout: Maintaining Your Integrity in the Age of Compromise.
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    The best thing you can do is to listen to and believe your child. They may or may not be ready for (or interested in) any type of medical transition, so it’s okay to go slow and take things step by step. Finding community with other families who have trans kids can also be a great help, and if needed, also find a gender-affirmative therapist.
  • Question
    Is there a difference between gender identity and gender presentation?
    Inge Hansen, PsyD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Inge Hansen, PsyD, is the Director of Well-Being at Stanford University and the Weiland Health Initiative. Dr. Hansen has professional interests in social justice and gender and sexual diversity. She earned her PsyD from the California School of Professional Psychology with specialized training in the area of gender and sexual identity. She is the co-author of The Ethical Sellout: Maintaining Your Integrity in the Age of Compromise.
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Gender identity is our internal experience and naming of gender, while our gender expression is how we present our gender through clothing, behavior, personal appearance and other characteristics. Both of these are separate from sex, which has to do with anatomy and chromosomes.
  • Question
    How can I tell my parents about my gender identity?
    Inge Hansen, PsyD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Inge Hansen, PsyD, is the Director of Well-Being at Stanford University and the Weiland Health Initiative. Dr. Hansen has professional interests in social justice and gender and sexual diversity. She earned her PsyD from the California School of Professional Psychology with specialized training in the area of gender and sexual identity. She is the co-author of The Ethical Sellout: Maintaining Your Integrity in the Age of Compromise.
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Parents show a wide range in terms of their ability and willingness to accept their kid’s gender or sexual orientation, so some will need a lot more time and education to help them adjust than others. It’s always a good idea to plan a conversation for when your parents are in a fairly calm and receptive frame of mind, and to let them know you have something important to share with them. Let them know about your identity, what language you have for your identity (if you know), and how you’ve come to learn that this is your authentic identity. Help them to see that you are taking a risk by having this conversation with them and that it’s an act of trust.
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