Q&A for How to Get Out of a Punishment

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  • Question
    How should you handle conflict between you and your relatives?
    Kirsten Thompson, MD
    Board Certified Psychiatrist
    Dr. Kirsten Thompson is a Board Certified Psychiatrist, Clinical Instructor at UCLA, and the Founder of Remedy Psychiatry. She specializes in helping patients with mental health conditions such as major depressive disorder, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, and postpartum depression. Dr. Thompson holds a BS in Operations Research Industrial Engineering from Cornell University and an MD from The State University of New York, Downstate College of Medicine.
    Board Certified Psychiatrist
    Expert Answer
    Give yourself the time and space to calm down and analyze your immediate emotional reaction. Also, consider the situation from the other person's point of view. It will help you to approach the conflict from a more logical and productive standpoint at a later time.
  • Question
    Who should you ask for the best advice?
    Kirsten Thompson, MD
    Board Certified Psychiatrist
    Dr. Kirsten Thompson is a Board Certified Psychiatrist, Clinical Instructor at UCLA, and the Founder of Remedy Psychiatry. She specializes in helping patients with mental health conditions such as major depressive disorder, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, and postpartum depression. Dr. Thompson holds a BS in Operations Research Industrial Engineering from Cornell University and an MD from The State University of New York, Downstate College of Medicine.
    Board Certified Psychiatrist
    Expert Answer
    First, you should seek advice from someone you trust has your best interest in mind and will be honest with you. Second, consider the experience this person may have with your situation.
  • Question
    What if my parent says my apology means nothing?
    Community Answer
    If you did it in the heat of the moment, maybe they still need some time to cool down. Wait a little while and then try to apologize again. Don't try to argue or ask to be let out of your punishment, just apologize, promise it will never happen again, then give them some space.
  • Question
    How do I get out of trouble at school?
    Community Answer
    It may not be possible to get out of it completely, but you can try to show that you understand what you did was wrong and that you're sorry. Say something like, "I am extremely sorry for _______. I will not do it again, because I've learned from my mistake." Be respectful and don't try to make excuses.
  • Question
    I got grounded because I squeezed my brother's hand by accident, but my parents think it was on purpose. What do I do?
    Kammyisawesome
    Community Answer
    Talk to your parents and your brother. Apologize to your brother and parents and suggest a different punishment such as extra chores.
  • Question
    My mom gave me the punishment of not letting me hang out for the rest of the school year which is nine more months with my friends because I talked back at her accidentally, what should I do?
    Kammyisawesome
    Community Answer
    Politely and respectfully talk to her and apologize for talking back. Then explain that you feel the punishment is a bit too harsh and suggest other punishments such as extra chores.
  • Question
    What if my parents are grounding me for no reason?
    Kammyisawesome
    Community Answer
    There probably is a reason. Calmly ask your parent what that is.
  • Question
    How do I get out of a punishment for hurting my brother?
    Community Answer
    That's tough, but you should apologize to your brother in front of your parents. Make sure you act like you're really sorry, and tell him it will never happen again. You might still get punished, but the punishment will be less severe.
  • Question
    How do I get out of a punishment after my teacher has contacted my parents?
    Community Answer
    Speak to your teacher privately the next day at school and tell her that you and your parents are working through this issue, and promise you will improve. It may not work, but it's worth a shot.
  • Question
    What if I get a whooping? I'm scared.
    Community Answer
    Getting a "whooping" is abuse. If this is what is happening in your household, you need to talk to a child help line or a trusted adult such as a teacher that can get you help.
  • Question
    Does this mean that it will work?
    Kammyisawesome
    Community Answer
    There is no guarantee it will work.
  • Question
    My mom gets mad over small problems. What can I do if I get punished for something I didn't do?
    Community Answer
    Minimizing the reasons your mom gets upset it not going to help your cause. It's important to validate your mom's feelings, even if you feel like she's upset over "nothing." If you are punished for something you didn't do, wait until your mom is calm and respectful ask if you can talk about the situation. It would be helpful if you had proof of your innocence.
  • Question
    Will any of the methods in this article work for law enforcement agencies?
    Community Answer
    Bargaining or being very cooperative might, especially if you lead them to another suspect. This might lessen your punishment because the officers can put in a good word for you.
  • Question
    What can I do if my mother doesn't trust me with a phone?
    Community Answer
    Ask her why she doesn't trust you, and ask her what you can do to change her mind. It might take a while to build trust, so you have to be patient.
  • Question
    What if my family punishes me for really normal things (like drawing)?
    Community Answer
    Try talking to them in a calm, respectful manner about how you feel about the punishments they give you for normal things. But remember, you still live under their roof, so you must obey their rules and respect their decisions.
  • Question
    How do I not get beaten when I'm being punished?
    Community Answer
    Getting beaten is abuse. If this is what is happening in your household, you need to talk to a child help line or a trusted adult such as a teacher.
  • Question
    What if my Mom hits me with the bat with nails?
    Community Answer
    This is child abuse and is a crime. Contact law enforcement immediately or visit your local police station. You can also call a Child Abuse Hotline. For help, see <a href="/Report-Abuse">How to Report Abuse</a>.
  • Question
    How do I get out of being sent to my room and being locked in?
    Andreaslag
    Community Answer
    Being locked in in your room is a very bad punishment, and dangerous. You may get hurt inside it. If the punishment is 15 or more minutes every time, tell a trusted adult, like a school teacher. Call 911 only if the situation is very severe.
  • Question
    How do I convince my parents that I tried but failed when I'm being punished?
    Community Answer
    Tell your parents that you tried your best considering the situation and that you will try better next time, and they might consider letting you off with a lesser punishment.
  • Question
    What do I do if I get in trouble for getting suspended?
    Community Answer
    Explain to your parents why you got suspended, and what you will do to improve your behavior. Try volunteering to do extra chores and homework while you're suspended, then maybe they won't give you another punishment.
  • Question
    My birthday is coming up, but I got a bad grade. I tried everything and my mom still won't let me have my birthday. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    See if you can convince her to postpone your punishment to the week after your birthday if you're grounded. You can also try promising her that you're going to work hard toward improving your grades, and explaining exactly how you're going to do that.
  • Question
    I have a bad grade and am in trouble. What do I do?
    Andreaslag
    Community Answer
    Tell them nicely that everybody at one point on their lives get a bad grade. Say you are sorry and that you will increase your grades.
  • Question
    What do I do if I'm on punishment during the summer as a kid?
    Community Answer
    Ty making an agreement that you will do something in exchange for you doing what you want to do. For example, offer to do something your parents have wanted done for ages but haven't gotten around to, like clearing out the garage, shed or yard.
  • Question
    What should I do if I made a mess and my parent is punishing me?
    Community Answer
    Maybe ask and see what you can do to fix it and be truthful about what you did. Don't hide it. Also, show them it was something you regret doing and attempt to make it better.
  • Question
    How do I get out of a punishment if it was caused by bad grades?
    Community Answer
    Show them you tried and attempt to do better, like show them your goals on a planning sheet, on how you are going to fix it. Be realistic and if you need tutoring or other help, then ask for it.
  • Question
    When I act on my best behavior to lessen a punishment my parents think it is because the punishment made me a better person and it encourages them to punish me more in the future. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    You should explain that it has made you a better person but that you think the extra punishment is unnecessary for you and if that doesn't work, try to be on your best behavior outside of punishment.
  • Question
    What do I do if I lied when trying to get out a punishment, but it's not what I meant?
    Community Answer
    You should tell the truth. You may get into trouble again but it will prevent you from getting into even more trouble if they find out you lied. Also, telling the truth will probably get rid of guilt, if you have any.
  • Question
    How can I compromise with my parents to reduce or change my punishment?
    Community Answer
    Own up to your parents about what you did, show you will work with them and then ask politely for them to change your punishment.
  • Question
    What do I do if I want to get out of a punishment if I got a bad report card?
    Community Answer
    Maybe try telling your parents that you will try harder next semester/quarter.
  • Question
    What do I do if I'm being grounded for losing something?
    Community Answer
    Find it, and maybe your punishment will be shortened by your folks. If you can't find it, offer to work enough chores to pay it off.
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