Q&A for How to Get a Boyfriend (for Guys)

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  • Question
    How can I get a boyfriend fast?
    Joshua Pompey
    Relationship Expert
    Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.
    Relationship Expert
    Expert Answer
    Opt for dating apps that are more geared toward relationships rather than ones used for hookups.
  • Question
    What if a guy doesn't want to talk to me anymore after telling him how I feel?
    Community Answer
    You just have to live with it. People come and go, and if he doesn't accept your feelings, he shouldn't be your partner or friend anyway.
  • Question
    What if the guy I like wasn't gay and I told him I was?
    Community Answer
    Don't worry. Things might be a little awkward but that is fine. If he was offended, he will get over it eventually. If he doesn't, don''t waste your time worrying about him.
  • Question
    What should I do if he went away after I told him my feelings, and never talked to me again?
    Community Answer
    There's two things that could mean. He could actually be considering a relationship with you and needs time to contemplate it. It could also mean that he is not interested in you. As confusing as it is, you may have to try and move on. Contact him if you can, and carry out a normal, friendly conversation. If it feels slightly awkward, walk away.
  • Question
    Am I ready for a relationship if I have social anxiety? I'm scared to talk to anyone, let alone my crush, and I end up getting really awkward and uncomfortable around people, especially people I like.
    Community Answer
    Yes. Everybody has their own issues to manage. However, you would be best served by seeking help with your social anxiety so you can be the best version of yourself.
  • Question
    How can I find a boyfriend if I am still in the closet?
    Community Answer
    Try online methods first if you are unwilling to come out to the public yet. Or, if you have good friends you trust, ask for their support.
  • Question
    What should I do if I can't find out if a guy likes me because does not talk to me often?
    Community Answer
    Talk to the person more. If he doesn't talk back to you or doesn't do it with much effort, then he probably does not like you. If he responds by talking more and you become closer friends, you can ask him about his feelings toward you.
  • Question
    How can I get my super cool and popular crush to talk to me more?
    Community Answer
    Start by spending time in places where he is. Try befriending his friends--if you are part of his group you will gain more exposure to him. You can also join whatever club/event/activity that your crush is involved in, which will give you an automatic excuse to spend more time with him. The conversation should come naturally after that.
  • Question
    If I have a gay friend, can we have oral sex?
    Community Answer
    Ask him. It's possible, but only if both of you consent to it.
  • Question
    How can I get my friends to accept that I will never be able to come out to my religious parents?
    Community Answer
    Explain that your family is conservative, but never say never. You may be able to find a time in the future when you are strong enough to come out regardless of the repercussions. Let your friends know you will do this on your own timeline--not theirs.
  • Question
    I like someone online, he knows how I feel and went away for a little while, but he's back now, does this mean he likes me now?
    Sophia
    Community Answer
    Maybe, but the only way to know for sure is to talk to him. He may have had secret feelings for you and just figured it out.
  • Question
    I like this guy but he has boyfriend. Should I let it go or should I go for him?
    Rrabbix
    Community Answer
    If he already has a boyfriend, there is nothing you can do about it. Just support them as much as you can without romantically interfering.
  • Question
    Should I tell my best friend I'm gay? I already told him that I might be gay.
    Community Answer
    It is up to you if you are ready to tell him. Just remember, if he is really your friend he won't care.
  • Question
    Should I ask someone out if he laughs at all of my jokes?
    Community Answer
    Though it could be a sign that he likes you, make sure that it is not coincidental that he laughs at your jokes, as he might just actually like the jokes and not you, at least not in a romantically inclined way. And, make sure that you like him too!
  • Question
    How can I tell him my feelings?
    Community Answer
    Spend more time with him, and let some feelings naturally build between you. If you feel like there's a mutual love there, tell him how he makes you feel and what he means to you. Another, sneakier, way of doing it would be to send him a text telling him that you love him. Wait for his response. If it's bad, say you meant to send it to another person. If it's good, you have yourself a boyfriend.
  • Question
    How do I get my boyfriend to trust me? If he does not trust me should I break up with him or show him trust so we can have a better relationship and a future together?
    Community Answer
    Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. If he doesn't trust you, you need to leave him and find someone who will trust you and treat you well. You deserve the best.
  • Question
    Do I have any chance of getting a boyfriend if I am fatter than others and ugly?
    サイハラシューイチ
    Community Answer
    Everyone has a chance to get a boyfriend, no matter what you look like. Don't feel as if you are never going to get one, because a true person wouldn't care about what you look like on the outside and would focus on your inner beauty (AKA your personality).
  • Question
    I'm transgender, but since I've been on hormones for a year, you can't tell that I was originally female. Will it be harder for me (as a gay trans guy) to get a date?
    Community Answer
    It will be harder for you in my experience, but usually just being upfront and open is better than not letting them know. If they aren't okay with it, they aren't worth it.
  • Question
    How can I tell if he is actually gay or not?
    Community Answer
    Just ask him!
  • Question
    If he talks to me at first but conversations keep getting harder to start, does it mean he is uninterested?
    Community Answer
    Not entirely, maybe find something that you are both very interested in, like a show or an animal.
  • Question
    What if I am ugly and there's no hope!
    Community Answer
    First of all, you are only as ugly as you believe you are. If you're nice and respect people a lot and get known as a really cool, nice guy, this article will help.
  • Question
    How can I tell if the guy I'm interested in is gay?
    Community Answer
    Ask him or some people close to him if he's gay. If he isn't then you'll have to be just friends with him.
  • Question
    Should I tell my crush how I feel if Valentine's Day is coming up?
    Community Answer
    That seems like a good time to tell him, but only if you're ready. Maybe you could ask him to do something simple for Valentine's Day like go to a movie.
  • Question
    How can I get a boyfriend, if I am thin and ugly?
    Community Answer
    Everyone has different ideas of beauty. Just because you think you're ugly doesn't mean that everyone else will! Let people get to know you and they will see your attractiveness inside and out. You will find a boyfriend who comes to love your thinness.
  • Question
    I'm super shy and I look and sound like a little boy. I'm worried that I might unwittingly place myself in a dangerous situation while looking for love, is there any way to be sure I'm safe?
    Community Answer
    There's no way to be completely sure, but if you're cautious you can eliminate a lot of potential problems. Get to know someone before you pursue them romantically. Don't go home (or anywhere) with someone you've just met. If you talk to someone online, and you decide to meet up in person, meet in a public place. If you go out to bars/clubs, go in a group if possible and stay near your friends. It might also be a good idea to carry pepper spray in your pocket just in case.
  • Question
    If the guy I'm interested in asks if I'm gay but I don't know if the feelings are mutual, what do I do?
    Moonmodule1998
    Top Answerer
    Do whatever feels most comfortable to you. If you don't feel comfortable outing yourself, then don't. Either evade the question or lie. You can always tell him the truth later. If you do feel comfortable, then answer honestly. A good first question to ask when someone asks you this is, "Why do you want to know?" You can often get a general feel of how he feels about the topic and why he was curious, if you don't know already. Try to ask it in a neutral or earnest tone, as the other person may take it the wrong way if you sound offended, panicked, shocked, or sarcastic.
  • Question
    I'm 14 and I just recently came out. My crush knows about this, and he has all of a sudden gotten closer to me than before. A friend of his asked him if he was gay and he just laughed, any ideas?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    For this aspect of life, it really doesn't matter what your orientation is: if you like someone, talk to them. Get to know them. Flirt, see how they react. And if they like you back - wonderful! He may be gay, but if he is, that doesn't mean he automatically loves you back. It's the same risk everyone takes when they show they like someone, regardless of your or their sexual orientation. Go slow, give things time to grow.
  • Question
    What can I do if I only fall in love with straight guys?
    Community Answer
    Try and find areas with diversity, and you'll find a gay guy. Ask your friends to find someone to match you up with. Take a plunge and try to meet any gay guy you know of and see if there's something there to interest you.
  • Question
    I have a crush on a boy who is considering dating someone else, but that someone else is a desperate "b-word" and I told him this. Also, I think he might have a crush on me. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Tell him how you feel, but don't say anything else about this other girl. You'll only make yourself look desperate (and jealous) by putting her down. If he chooses you, great. If he decides to date the other girl, move on and find somebody else.
  • Question
    How do I know if a guy would be good for me?
    Community Answer
    You have to get to know him first. Start by just being friends and hanging out every now and then. Learn about his hobbies, interests, likes and dislikes, personality quirks, etc. If you feel like he might be a good fit for you, then you can start working on taking the friendship to a different level, but don't worry about jumping into a relationship right away. Take things slow.
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