Q&A for How to Get over Your Lesbian Crush on a Straight Best Friend

It's hard, but you will get over it someday. Know that everything in life is temporary and try to grow from loss. It's really helpful to remember that life is full of loss and to frame your situation as grieving. Recognize the various stages of grieving in your situation and then fully process them accordingly, giving them meaning.

It might mean that she's bi-curious or experimenting with her sexuality, but it's also very likely that she's only using you for fun or her own purposes. Make sure you're being respected in the relationship. You can ask her straight out if she's really interested in a relationship or just being playful, in which case that's a bit of an issue.

Not necessarily. She could just value your opinion as a friend and have taken your advice.

Sit down in private and just ask instead of assuming. Share your sexuality first to possibly make her more comfortable with the conversation.

I wouldn't pursue her if I were you. If she's straight and in a relationship, breaking them up or trying to convert her would only end badly.

You might just want to give her a little time to get used to the idea. Just continue treating her like you always have and she will see that things don't have to change. If she's still acting weird in a week or so, try just saying, "Hey, I don't want these feelings getting in the way of our friendship, can we just forget about it and get back on track?"

There is a difference between having small feelings and being in love. She might posses small feelings for you, but that will only last a short time because, at the end of the day, she is straight. Someone who is not clearly in love with you will never attend to all of your emotional needs. It is better to find someone who will love you for you, without reservation.

It's not really a give or take answer. If she is ready to come out to you, then she will. Don't make any assumptions--this will only hurt you in the long run.

If she is truly questioning it, then it would be in your best interest to give her a little push to wherever she needs to be. That doesn't mean making her a lesbian, but maybe you could suggest something else she might feel comfortable with, like being bisexual.

Just ask her what her preference is. It's better than guessing or always wondering. If she is a lesbian, you can tell her how you feel then.

If you truly love her, you'll want her to be happy and give her your blessings and all the support she needs. If she's happy, you'll be happy too.

Don't jump to conclusions and don't pressure her into anything. Wait it out and if she does like you then eventually she will show it.

It is best to stop before anything serious happens between you two unless that's what you want. It's not fair to her boyfriend for the two of you to be fooling around behind his back.

You can write it down on a piece of paper and pass it to her as a note. Don't use email or texting because talking online is not genuine and can also be kind of risky, because there is no tone of voice used in text messages and that means people can be really misunderstood. Make sure to include in your note that you want to give her space to decide how she feels about you liking her so that she doesn't have an immediately defensive reaction. You can also say that you don't want to be in a relationship, you just wanted to let her know. This will take a lot of pressure away from her.

Try not to ignore her, but ignore your crush on her. If you're positive she doesn't like you back, it's the best thing to do. Now if you're not positive, that’s another story. If you think there's a chance she might like you back, you should tell her how you feel. Be prepared for anything, and try to maintain the friendship if she doesn't feel the same way.

Accept that you'll never be together, and try to see her as a friend. This will help your relationship in the long run. You may also want to try to make some new friends in case being around her becomes too painful.

Yes. Just try not to be rude about it. If she knows about the crush, just tell her you need a little space to get over it. If she doesn't know, just make polite excuses, "I'm really busy today," etc.

If you're comfortable enough coming out to her, start with that and get her reaction. If she's a close friend, it probably won't change her opinion of you. If things go favorably, be direct, and tell her that she's your type.

Try to approach her as a friend and get to know her better. You might be able to pick up on her sexuality just by hanging out and talking to her. You could even say, "Hey, want to hang out sometime over the summer?" and give her your number or ask for hers. That way you won't feel like you're on a time crunch. You could also ask her friends if she is straight, or just be bold and go up and ask her yourself. Most likely the worst that will happen is she will tell you she's not interested.

That is fine, but don't force a relationship. If you find yourselves experimenting together, things in the future might be awkward. To avoid this, you might want to wait until you both have a better idea of what your sexuality is, and make sure you both like each other before you jump into a relationship.

Is she flirty with everyone? If so, that's just her personality. Try to remind yourself that it isn't personal, she doesn't like you, that's just how she acts friendly. If she isn't like that with everyone, it's possible she's trying to flirt with you for attention because she knows you like her (leading you on). If that's the case, she's not a very good friend. Either way, just remember that it's not going to happen with her. If your feelings are really upsetting you, distance yourself from this friend.

That's great! Talk to your crush about going forward together.

Do you know what her orientation is? Maybe just ask her. I know it is easier said than done but I've found that flirting with girls (for me) is very difficult even if both of you are queer. Sometimes it is easier to just ask, "Are you flirting with me?" or say, "I'm flirting with you." Just be direct so there's no confusion.

Talk to your friend about your feelings honestly and openly, and talk about ways you can remain friends even if she does not share your feelings.

If she truly supports you, then you can tell her. Just keep in mind that if she's straight, your feelings are not going to be returned. But if it would make you feel better to just get it off your chest, you should go ahead and tell her. You can always do so by text or in a note if you don't know how to tell her face-to-face.

You can't make someone stop liking you, but if she's doing something that makes you uncomfortable (flirting with you, being too affectionate, etc.), just tell her that you're uncomfortable and ask her to stop. A good friend will be understanding about this.

You don't need to stop riding the bus. Try telling her that you need a little space so she doesn't think it's weird that you stop talking to her on the bus, or just keep busy so you don't really have to talk to her, like doing homework, listening to music, etc.

If you don't like her flirting with you, you should directly (politely) confront her. Just let her know that you aren't interested and you'd appreciate it if she would stop flirting.

Tell her you are sorry, but you do not want to date her. You want to be friends, and it's not her fault, it's just your decision.

Obviously you can't avoid her if you're in the same class. You can still put some space between the two of you by not hanging out with her outside of class, texting her too much, etc. And just keep reminding yourself that she's never going to feel the same way about you, so you might as well just move on. Think about all the ways she's a good FRIEND to you, and be grateful for what you have together.