How to Volunteer at a Domestic Violence Shelter

Last Updated: May 6, 2021

Many women have thought about volunteering at a domestic violence shelter but don't know what will be expected from them. Volunteering at a shelter can be different than volunteering for other charities, so it helps to approach the mission with a particular focus and sensitivity.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Preparing to Volunteer

Are you good with people, especially children? Have an excellent phone presence? Great at raising funds? Excellent in an office setting, or in the field? Have extensive experience with a different volunteer job? All of these skills are greatly needed at the shelters, and you can choose what you'd like to do as a volunteer. Do expect, though, to be crossed trained in all aspects of volunteering to assist survivors of domestic violence and their loved ones.
Once you learn the location of the shelter you cannot disclose it to anyone, not even friends or family. It's one of those secrets that must remain with you for the safety of those that are being protected. If anyone discovers its location, the people being protected have been compromised and put in danger.

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There are many children at the shelters. If you are interested in working with them, you will be trained in how to behave with children who have seen and/or experienced abuse. Many of the children suffer from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and have to be treated accordingly. They are not in their homes and will often rebel against their mothers while in the shelter, primarily out of resentment and fear. Your job will be to provide them with distractions, such as recreational activities, playtime, arts and crafts, reading them books and even going on field trips.
If you don't want to leave your home because you still have young children or it just isn't convenient, consider answering a hotline. Then you only work when someone calls, but you are providing an invaluable service to those in need. You will be trained in how to provide advice and advocacy over the phone; you will not be expected to answer it without first training for all contingencies.
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Get ready for some intense training. You'll likely be cross-trained to provide crisis intervention, education, practical assistance and advocacy to survivors of domestic violence and sexual abuse who are either at the shelter, or on the phone. If you decide you're interested in Crisis Response, plan on additional training, since you will be going to the courts, jails, hospitals and anywhere else a survivor may need assistance.
- Often there is a 30 day program for new volunteers. That may sound like a lot but there is a lot to cover and it's very important you are as knowledgeable as possible. Use some of the training you receive in other parts of your life, such as public speaking, or dealing with different types of people while you are out. The skills you will master are very versatile and you will be surprised at how often you will find yourself using them.
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Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Volunteering

Never give out specific information about anyone that has been in the shelter or helped by the shelter no matter who they say they are. All of the information must remain confidential. Lives depend on it.
As long as you don't break anyone's confidentiality or the confidentiality of the shelter everything else can be fixed. You can work on your weaker skills and improve them easily, no one is perfect when they are just starting something new.
Understand that volunteering to assist with survivors can be sometimes be emotionally overwhelming and draining. This is normal, everyone who works with, or volunteers to, help other people has felt this way at some time. Be sure to take good care of yourself when you feel drained or overwhelmed. Take a walk, a hot bath, buy yourself something special or just relax at home.
Sure, you're volunteering, but you can do so in a way that's a win-win for both you and the program participants. You won't "connect" with everyone. And that's ok. Volunteering is no different than regular life, you like some people more than others. If there is someone you simply cannot work with request a different shift, or have a different volunteer work with those people. This should be an enjoyable experience for you, not one to dislike.
Shelters are not scary places. They are safe havens for many survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault and without volunteers they would not exist. If you've every considered volunteering for a shelter please call your local hotline; they can refer you to the correct people to speak to about donating your time and energy.

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I want to work as a volunteer. I am a survivor and I know I could help. What is the phone number to apply or is there an address?

Donagan

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In the U.S. call 1-800-799-7233. In the UK call 0808 2000 247. In Australia call 1 800 737 732. Worldwide go online to International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies, which you can visit at HotPeachPages.net.

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Tips

Be aware of your surroundings as you are driving to the shelter. If it's common knowledge you work there you could be followed by an abuser trying to get to the survivor. It's very unlikely you will be hurt in any way; it's much more likely the survivor could be found.

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Many of the children have not had regular schooling due to their family situations. Be prepared to assist with homework and other educational projects.

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Do not assume that there is a specific demographic at the shelters. Survivors come from all walks of life, from very poor to extremely wealthy. The one thing they have in common is the need for assistance and protection.

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Warnings

The most dangerous time for a survivor of domestic violence or sexual abuse is when they leave the abuser. This makes It very important to stay aware of your surroundings and take precautions to stay safe. There is little risk to you, but a lot of risk to the survivors. Make sure you know the shelter's emergency plan if an abuser arrives at the facility.

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How to Volunteer at a Domestic Violence Shelter

Steps

Preparing to Volunteer

Volunteering

Community Q&A

Tips

Warnings

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