Wait to speak until you’re calm. “Can I take a quick break? I need to think about what I want to say.” “Let me grab some water and then we can talk.” Explain how things look from your perspective, so they understand why you feel the way you do. “When you forgot about our anniversary, it really hurt. I know you weren’t trying to do that, but it just made me feel like I’m not your highest priority anymore.” “I know you feel really strongly that we should use that social media strategy, but I have some doubts about how effective it’ll be. I’ve worked on lots of these kinds of campaigns in the past and in my experience, focusing just on getting followers can make feeds really one-dimensional. I’m worried that’s what’ll happen here, too.” “It feels like you’re babying me and it’s really frustrating. When I help with chores and raise my grades, I’m trying to show you that I’m mature enough to make my own decisions.” Use firm but non-inflammatory language and “I” statements when making your point. “I care about you a lot and I need to feel like you do too. That doesn’t just mean saying that you love me every once in a while. I actually need to you to spend time with me and show me that you’re invested in us.” “I’m worried that we’re sacrificing the quality of our content when we try to make things viral or popular. We have a core base of followers that really like what we’re putting out right now. Keeping up with trends is important, but not if it means getting away from our core values.” “I want to be able to hang out with my friends on weekends without having to answer your check-in messages every few minutes, and I want to stay out later on the weekends, even if it’s just by half an hour. I’m almost an adult and I think I deserve to have more freedom.” Use “I” statements to keep yourself from blaming or attacking the other person. “I don’t think you realize it, but I feel left out and needy when our date night gets cancelled two weeks in a row.” “I’ve seen customers start avoiding brands that seem like they’re trying to hard to be relevant. As much as we do need to try to be in the news feed, I think that staying true to our mission is the most important thing to our followers.” “I’ll always be your daughter, but I’m also almost an adult. I’d really like to start having more say over my life.” Show that you respect their viewpoint so they’ll be more likely to listen to yours in return. “I know you want to spend time with your friends, and I know you’ve been busy with work. It’s hard to find a balance with this stuff, and I get that. I think we can make one, though.” “I see where you’re coming from, and agree that we do need to get subscribers. That’s definitely a priority. I just want to be open to other ways of doing that than this one.” “I know you’re just trying to look out for me, but I want you to be able to trust me, too.” Take responsibility or ask for a break if your communication still isn’t effective. “I know I’m still frustrated right now and that’s why I’m talking loudly. Give me a second to gather my thoughts.” “I know this might be a lot to take in. We can talk again tomorrow if you want some time to think.” “I’m trying really hard to talk about this calmly, but I also just want this independence really badly. Can you just think about it for now?”