Simple & Effective Ways to Make a Girl Jealous

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Get her to focus on you by making her a little bit jealous
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Although it may not be the best, most mature approach to winning a girl’s affections, making her jealous is a tried-and-true way to get her to pay attention to you. Whether you’re trying to get your crush to like you back by making her jealous first, or if you want to show an ex that you're better off without her, this article can help. Keep reading for a comprehensive guide to making the girl in your life jealous, with insights from dating and relationship experts.

How to Make Her Jealous

Reel her in by flirting with her and giving her attention. Then, start talking about other girls to make sure she knows you have plenty of options. Let her see you flirting with other girls, but don't wait too long before showing her you want to be with her. Remember: making others jealous is generally unadvised.

Section 1 of 4:

Getting Her Attention

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  1. If you want to make the girl jealous, you should first show some level of interest in her, so she is intrigued by you and has a sense that you want to take things to the next level. Body language is the easiest way to let her know you somewhat want her without even saying a word. Dating coach Cher Gopman says that flirty body language can involve touching or no touching. She says that “smiling” and “eye contact” are really great non-touching ways to flirt. [1]
    • As far as touching goes, Gopman encourages you to “add a quick touch to the leg or on the arm or the upper arm” to let them know you’re interested… but not too much. [2]
    • When you approach her, turn your body towards her, stand tall, and lean in towards her slightly, showing that your body is giving her its full attention.
    • Lightly touch her on the arm or back if she seems up for it.
    • Maintain eye contact while you're talking. She should feel like she's the only girl in the world -- for a few minutes.

    Meet the wikiHow Experts

    Cher Gopman is a dating coach and the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a dating service based in New York City.

    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City with over 15 years of professional experience.

    Michele Fields is a Matchmaker and Dating Coach with over 30 years of experience. She also owns Bon Jour Matchmaking based in Denver, Colorado.

  2. Once your body has done some of the talking, you should let your words do the work. A few cautious compliments can show that you're paying attention to her and that you want to get to know her better. If it's someone you already know, then the compliments will show that you're still thinking of her. Here's how to do it: [3]
    • Compliment her appearance. Go for subtlety with this one. Instead of "Damn, you look hot," just say, "Blue is a great color. It really brings out your eyes."
    • Compliment her laugh or her smile.
    • Tease your way into a compliment. Find a way to playfully poke fun at her while complimenting her at the same time.
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  3. Asking just a few questions will show that you want to get to know her and that you're invested in who she is. Just a few lighthearted and well-placed questions will hook the girl and will make her want you even more.
    • Ask her a flirty question. If she mentions she has a sister, say, "Is she as beautiful as you are?"
    • Ask her a silly question but act like it's really important. Ask her what she thinks of men who are in love with their dogs or men who wear leather.
    • Ask her something about herself. Ask about one of her hobbies or what she likes to do for fun. Make the girl think you care about her -- just a little bit.
  4. 4
    Text her a little. Texting can be instrumental in making her jealous. According to matchmaker & dating coach Michele Fields, however, the key is not to text too much as this indicates a high level of interest. She says, “The more you interact back and forth, [they’ll] know [they’ve] got you.” If you really want to get her hooked on talking to you, Shields says, “Just disappear, believe me, that will do it!” [4]
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Section 2 of 4:

Making Her Jealous

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  1. Once you've shown enough interest in the girl and have flirted enough to make her think she has a chance, it's time for a turnaround. Slowly start talking about another girl, whether it's someone she knows or a random girl you keep calling "my really good friend" or "this girl I've known forever. Dating coach John Keegan says, “It's important to make sure [she] knows that you're an attractive man with options." [5]
    • Find a way to mention the girl every few minutes. Don't do it every few seconds or it will be too annoying, but make it sound like you're constantly thinking of the other girl. [6]
    • Find ways to complement the other girl. Without being too obnoxious, say things like, "She's like, my favorite person," or "She can get any guy she wants." Make the other girl feel inferior.
    • You can also make this person up. If you're a good liar, this "other girl" can be completely fictional.
    • Repeatedly say, "You should really meet her. I think you'd get along." This will drive the other girl crazy.
  2. Instead of just going on and on about another girl in your life, you should take the opportunity to talk about lots of other girls. Just make yourself sound like a ladies' man who hangs out with a ton of cute girls whenever and wherever.
    • Mention a party you went to where there were so many amazing girls. You can even say that you were one of the few guys there but that it was okay— you're used to it.
    • Talk about a fun weekend trip you took to the beach, and mention how all the girls you were with were wearing the most ridiculous bikinis.
    • Just mention "this one girl I was seeing" after another. Make it sound like you go on a ton of dates.
    • Just make sure not to sound gross or like you’re a total player. The girl will lose interest if you make yourself out to be too much of a Casanova.
  3. While you're talking to the girl about being with other girls, your phone will be a great prop in making her jealous. Keep your phone handy and check it from time to time and even be prepared to answer it. Keegan shares that keeping up the appearance that you have lots of girls who are interested in you is key because “no girl wants to be in a relationship with a guy that no other girl wants.” [7]
    • Check your phone from time to time and smile to yourself, as if you've just received a naughty message from a girl. Say, "Excuse me" and smile as you type back something that may be equally naughty.
    • Have your phone ring once while you're talking to the girl. Pick it up and say, "Hey, how are you? Can I call you back?" Don't overdo it and call the girl "honey" or "baby" over the phone. Just make it clear that you're talking to another sexy lady from the tone of your voice.
    • Don't overuse the phone tactic. A girl's patience will quickly wear if you spend all of your time on your phone.
  4. Once you've talked to the girl enough to give her an inkling about your affections, it's time to go into ignore mode and to start chatting up other girls at the bar. You should do this after just a few minutes of talking to the first girl. Here are some great targets to try: [8]
    • Whether you're at a party or a bar, just pick a girl near you and start talking to her. Slowly transition from talking to the original girl to being absorbed by the new girl completely. Make sure you look like you're laughing and have a great time.
    • Take the other girl to the dance floor. Don't make out with her or grope her. Just dance with her for a song or two and look like you're having a great time.
    • Pick a pack of girls to hang out with. Make them laugh and let the other girl watch.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 295 wikiHow readers what they think is the most effective way to make someone jealous, and 48% of them said flirting with someone else. [Take Poll]
  5. If you want to stay more local to the girl or if you're done with your random girls, you can make the girl jealous by paying attention to her friends. This will let you stay close and keep her focused on you while making her doubt your intentions.
    • Make all of her friends like you. Be your most witty, charming, and charismatic self.
    • Make a point of ignoring the original girl in front of her friends. Even if she's standing right in front of you, act like she's not there.
    • Don't isolate the friends too much. Try to get all of them to like you while you flirt it up. If you pay too much attention to a close friend of the girl and she starts to like you, then you may create unwanted drama.
  6. This is a bold move. If you're out at a bar or a party, leave with another girl at the end of the night. You don't even have to end up going home with her. Just let the original girl see you walking out with another girl. Acknowledge the original girl with a small nod or a smile as you walk out. Let her know that you know she's watching you. Scandalous!
    • Keegan says that even if the person you’re trying to make jealous didn’t see you, you can try spreading the information yourself: “If you tell a mutual friend, ‘Oh, I went on a date last night,’ then that friend [might] relay that information.” Voila! [9]
  7. You can make a girl jealous even in the daytime. If you're hanging out with another girl, whether it's just a friend or someone you're also flirting with, let the girl see you having a great time with someone else.
    • If the girl you want to make jealous sees you with another girl, make sure to look completely focused on the girl you're with. When you "finally" notice the jealous girl, you can say, "Oh, I didn't even see you there." Of course you didn't -- you were too busy having fun with another girl.
    • Pick places where you know the jealous girl will be. Parade into her favorite cafe or dining spot with a gaggle of girls and look like you're having as much fun as possible.
    • If you have a class together, sit away from her and next to another girl, and let her see you whispering to the other girl and doodling in the margins of her notes.
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Section 3 of 4:

Sealing the Deal With Her

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  1. This is an important point. If you're just using jealousy to make the girl see you as desirable and to want you even more, you shouldn't spend too much time courting other women or talking about them, or the girl will see you as a playboy and will be turned off. [10]
    • If you're using other girls at a bar or at a party to make the girl jealous, don't spend all night talking to them and then ignore her. Come back to the girl you want after a few minutes, before she loses patience.
    • Once you see that the girl is really interested, stop talking about other girls or chatting up other girls in the vicinity. The chase is over— for now.
Section 4 of 4:

Final Takeaways

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  1. Remember that it is always a bad idea to make someone jealous on purpose. While the cat and mouse game can be fun to an extent, what’s not fun is losing a girl you really like because you wanted her to think you didn’t like her that much . How silly does that sound? No matter your age, situation, or current standing with the girl in question, there are other ways of finding out whether a girl likes you. Try to be mature about it. Who knows? It could make the whole courtship process so much simpler and smoother! [11]
    • Keegan notes that jealousy is a “dark emotion” and that you should be careful not to be manipulative as that surely doesn’t set the right tone for romance. [12]
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      Tips

      • Many of these tips could result in the girl losing interest in you completely, as she may get the impression you don't like her and will move on. Act with caution and tact.
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      • The girls you are using to make her jealous might like you. And they could very easily think you like her too. So, be careful in that way, as well you don’t want to gain a reputation as a heartbreaker or overall bad guy.
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      • If she finds out you were trying to make her jealous, she will more than likely be mad.
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      References

      1. ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      2. ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200403/the-art-the-compliment
      4. ↑ Michele Fields. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      5. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201606/how-and-why-to-play-hard-to-get
      7. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201606/how-and-why-to-play-hard-to-get
      9. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201606/how-and-why-to-play-hard-to-get
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199203/romantic-jealousy
      3. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      Before you can make a girl jealous, you'll need to start showing interest in her by catching her eye from across the room or subtly complimenting her. For example, you could say something about her outfit, like, "Blue really brings out your eyes." Once you've shown plenty of interest in her, begin to talk about other girls that you like. You could even try flirting with other girls in front of her, or make good friends with her friends, so they're always talking you up around her. However, if you want the girl to eventually like you, don't spend too much time courting other women, or she may think you're a player and lose interest in you. For more tips, like how to use your phone to make a girl jealous, keep reading.

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        Sep 4, 2016

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