How to Comfort a Depressed Friend over Text

PDF download Download Article
PDF download Download Article

If you have a friend that's dealing with depression, you likely really want to help them out. Texting someone is one way to show your support, and it's proven to make a difference. One study found that receiving frequent supportive texts elevated the moods of depressed people and provided meaningful support. [1] If you're looking for texts you can send to a depressed friend, this article has a list of things you can say to let them know that you're there for them.

1

"I'm here if you need me."

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/61\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/61\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-1.jpg\/aid12880507-v4-728px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    [2] People experiencing depression often feel isolated from their friends and family and may struggle to seek the support they need. Text your friend that you're always there for them so that they feel less alone and know they can go to you when they're struggling. [3]
    2. Advertisement
2

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/9\/9b\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/9\/9b\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-2.jpg\/aid12880507-v4-728px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Ask them directly so that they don't have to ask themselves. [5] This gesture will mean a lot to your friend, even if there's nothing you can do right now. [6]
    • Your friend might need help getting up in the morning for work or making appointments with a therapist. To help, you might send them a good morning text each day or sit next to them when they call to schedule appointments on the phone. [7]
3

"We don't have to talk about it, but I'm here if you change your mind."

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/4b\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/4\/4b\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-3.jpg\/aid12880507-v4-728px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Putting pressure on them might make them feel anxious, so let them know they don't have to just yet. [8] Hearing that you'll be there when they're ready will make them feel a lot more comfortable and understood. [9]
    • You can also try, "No pressure to respond, but I'm always here if you want someone to talk to."
    • Your friend will really appreciate knowing that they have someone who will listen to them when they're ready.
    2. Advertisement
4

"Look at this picture I found! This was such a fun day."

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/40\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/4\/40\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-4.jpg\/aid12880507-v4-728px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If your friend is struggling with depression, they might have a hard time remembering the good times they've had. They might also feel convinced that their friends don't enjoy their company anymore, even when that's not true at all. Show them how much you appreciate the times you've had by sharing a happy memory like this.
    • You might try a picture of the two of you on a fun hiking trip or an old photobooth picture from a great time out on the town.
    • You could even add something like, "Can't wait to do this again!" This will let them know that you're excited to keep making plans and hang out more in the future.
5

"My favorite thing about you is..."

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/59\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-5.jpg\/v4-460px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-5.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/59\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-5.jpg\/aid12880507-v4-728px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-5.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Depression can trigger a lot of self-doubts. Your friend might be struggling with their self-esteem or worrying that you don't like them anymore. Make sure that they know how much you love them with a reassuring compliment. It'll bring a smile to your friend's face and make them feel appreciated. [10]
    • You might text, "You've got the best sense of humor. I'm still laughing about what you said at work the other day lol" or "You're such a talented artist! Seeing your paintings makes my day."
    2. Advertisement
6

"I thought you would think this is funny."

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/c4\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-6.jpg\/v4-460px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-6.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/c4\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-6.jpg\/aid12880507-v4-728px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-6.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Your friend might just need a break to laugh and be a little silly with you. Even if they're struggling, they'll appreciate your effort to make them smile. [11]
    • You might try a funny meme that appeals to your friend's sense of humor, a picture of a cute animal (the internet is brimming with cute puppy and kitten pictures), or a GIF from their favorite TV show.
    • Whatever you decide to send, keep the humor lighthearted and positive.
7

"I just want you to know that I love and appreciate you."

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/23\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-7.jpg\/v4-460px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-7.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/23\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-7.jpg\/aid12880507-v4-728px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-7.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    [12] It can be super hard to remember that there are people out there that love you when you're in the throes of depression. Send frequent reminders to your friend so that it's impossible for them to forget. [13]
    • You might also try simply, "I love you!" or "You are the best. Never forget that!"
    2. Advertisement
8

"You're such an amazing friend."

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/e2\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-8.jpg\/v4-460px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-8.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/e2\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-8.jpg\/aid12880507-v4-728px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-8.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    When you're dealing with depression, it can be pretty hard to reach out and make plans with your friends. [14] Make your friend's doubts subside by letting them know that you cherish their friendship, even if you haven't been able to see each other as much lately.
    • You might also try, "You've always been there for me. You are a true friend" or "I've never had a friend like you before. I'm so lucky!"
9

"There's food on the way!"

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/51\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-9.jpg\/v4-460px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-9.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/51\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-9.jpg\/aid12880507-v4-728px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-9.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you're able, send over takeout from your friend's favorite restaurant. This is a great way to be there for your friend if they're not up for hanging out right now. They'll appreciate the gesture and the scrumptious, comfort food will likely really lift their spirits. [15]
    • Add another message like, "Just wanted to show you how much I care about you" or "Anything for my BFF!"
    • To make sure this works according to plan, make sure they're home to pick up the food.
    2. Advertisement
10

"I know this is hard right now, but there are resources out there that can help."

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b5\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-10.jpg\/v4-460px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-10.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/b5\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-10.jpg\/aid12880507-v4-728px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-10.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    To work through serious depression, people often need to talk to a mental health professional like a therapist or a counselor. Gently remind your friend that there are resources out there to help them through the worst of their depression and get on the other side. [16]
    • Try this option if you notice your friend's depression is worsening. This might look like isolating themselves from your friend group, a loss of interest in things that used to make them happy, and thoughts of suicide. [17]
    • To make things easier, you might offer to help them search online for a mental health professional or drive them to their first appointment. [18]
    • Remember to ask if they want to make things better. Some people do, and some just want to wait until the fog clears. It is important to make sure that people are ready to hear what you have to offer them in a non-judgemental way. [19]
11

"Can I call you?"

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/1a\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-11.jpg\/v4-460px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-11.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/1a\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-11.jpg\/aid12880507-v4-728px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-11.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If they seem pretty down or in need of some comfort, text them that you'd be happy to talk on the phone. Even if they would rather not, they'll appreciate the offer and will likely feel less alone. [20]
    • Alternatively, ask if they would like to do a video call. You might say something like, "I'm free tonight if you want to FaceTime and watch a movie together or something 😊"
    2. Advertisement
12

"You think I can come over?"

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/8\/8d\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-12.jpg\/v4-460px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-12.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/8\/8d\/Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-12.jpg\/aid12880507-v4-728px-Comfort-a-Depressed-Friend-over-Text-Step-12.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Depression can make people have a hard time making plans, even when they want nothing more than to spend time with their friends. Make this easier for your friend by offering to come over and hang out. Your friend may not be up for it, but it'll make them feel better to know that you're willing to show up for them like this. [21]
    • You might say something like, "We don't have to talk about anything serious if you don't want to. I'd be down to just watch a silly movie or something!"

Expert Q&A

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    What makes a caring friend?
    Jessica George, MA, CHt
    Certified Professional Master Life Coach
    Jessica George is a Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Professional Master Life Coach, and Co-Founder of Evolve Therapy Coaching based in Glendale, California. With more than 20 years of experience, she specializes in hybrid therapy and coaching services, couples counseling, and clinical hypnotherapy. Jessica holds a Bachelor’s degree from The University of California, Santa Barbara and an MA in Counseling Psychology and Talk Therapy from Ryokan College. Jessica is trained in the Imago technique and the Gottman method for couples therapy. She also earned a Professional Life-Coach Certification from The Fowler Academy and an Infinite Possibilities Relationship Certification. She is a member of the International Board of Coaches and Practitioners (IBCP).
    Jessica George, MA, CHt
    Certified Professional Master Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    Caring friends provide a safe space for their friends to be helped and heard. They're able gauge if their friends need advice, or if they just need a shoulder to cry on.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 2 Helpful 13
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      Warnings

      • If your friend is in crisis or is expressing thoughts of suicide, call a crisis line to get them the help that they need. To reach the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, call or text 988 if you're in the United States or Canada. Tell a friend or family member that you trust about the situation, too. [22]
        Thanks
      • No matter how much you want to help your friend, it's important for you to set boundaries. Practice self-care and don't be too hard on yourself if you don't always know what to say or need some space sometimes. [23]
        Thanks
      Advertisement

      You Might Also Like

      How Long Does the No Contact Rule Take to Work?
      How to
      Make a Cheating Boyfriend Feel Bad
      33 Sweet & Romantic Apology Messages for Your Love
      13 Ways to Annoy a Passive-Aggressive Person
      How to
      Ignore People You No Longer Wish to Be Around
      7 Ways to Get Revenge on Someone
      How to Tell if a Married Man is Using You: 16 Red Flags
      How to
      Apologise to Your Boyfriend Through Text
      How Long Should I Wait to Text My Ex-Girlfriend?
      How to Politely Remind Someone to Reply to You
      How to
      Comfort Someone with Anxiety over Text
      How Normal Is Fighting in a Relationship? Healthy vs. Toxic Fights
      How to
      Make Your Boyfriend Happy when He Is Angry
      How to
      Ask Someone if They Are Upset with You
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-017-1448-2
      2. ↑ Jessica George, MA, CHt. Certified Professional Master Life Coach. Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.
      3. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/depression/things-you-should-and-not-say-to-a-depressed-person
      4. ↑ Jessica George, MA, CHt. Certified Professional Master Life Coach. Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.
      5. ↑ Jessica George, MA, CHt. Certified Professional Master Life Coach. Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/culture-shrink/201507/6-things-you-can-say-support-someone-whos-depressed
      7. ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/6-ways-to-help-a-friend-with-depression
      8. ↑ Jessica George, MA, CHt. Certified Professional Master Life Coach. Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.
      9. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/depression/art-20045943
      1. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/helping-someone-with-depression.htm
      2. ↑ https://www.mic.com/life/what-to-say-to-your-depressed-friend-according-to-therapists
      3. ↑ Jessica George, MA, CHt. Certified Professional Master Life Coach. Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.
      4. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/helping-someone-with-depression.htm
      5. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/6-dos-and-donts-for-supporting-someone-who-has-depression/
      6. ↑ https://www.mic.com/life/what-to-say-to-your-depressed-friend-according-to-therapists
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/culture-shrink/201507/6-things-you-can-say-support-someone-whos-depressed
      8. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/6-dos-and-donts-for-supporting-someone-who-has-depression/
      9. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/helping-someone-with-depression.htm
      10. ↑ Jessica George, MA, CHt. Certified Professional Master Life Coach. Expert Interview. 11 February 2022.
      11. ↑ https://www.mic.com/life/what-to-say-to-your-depressed-friend-according-to-therapists
      12. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/depression/things-you-should-and-not-say-to-a-depressed-person
      13. ↑ https://mhanational.org/im-looking-mental-health-help-someone-else
      14. ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/6-ways-to-help-a-friend-with-depression

      About This Article

      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 108,449 times.

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement