Flirting with a Cancer: The Keys to Cracking the Crab

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Astrology-based tips to help you avoid those pincers
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Crabs aren't the symbol of Cancer for nothing—these gentle nurturers tend to hide their soft inner selves behind a hard exterior and they can indeed be tough nuts to crack! How do you flirt with this elusive and private sign without scaring them off? Read on to learn how to flirt with a Cancer the right way, plus which signs are most compatible with the loving crab.

Flirting with a Cancer

Cancerians value authenticity and genuine emotional connection above anything else. To flirt with a Cancer, be caring and attentive to them. Show a genuine interest in their life and the people close to them.

Section 1 of 5:

Flirting with a Cancer

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  1. Cancerians bond emotionally by sharing stories—they're typically thrilled when someone legitimately asks them questions and shows an interest in them as a person. They'll come alive when they realize that you're interested enough to ask detailed, specific questions about their thoughts and experiences.
    • Come up with follow-up questions based on their answers to keep the conversation going and show that you were listening to them. They'll also be stoked that they said something you found so interesting.
  2. A Cancer is typically going to be thrilled when they realize that they have your undivided attention. Even though they might be more reserved at first, they'll really blossom once they realize that you're listening and interested in what they have to say.
    • Paraphrasing what they said after they're done talking is a great way to show that you were listening—and also gives you both an opportunity to clear up any misunderstandings!
    • Don't be surprised if they start to get a little more flirtatious when they notice that you've been paying attention to them. Cancers aren't necessarily the biggest flirts in the zodiac, but when they feel a connection they'll go for it.
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  3. In the mind of your typical Cancer, there's just something really sexy about a secret. Not a mean-spirited or hurtful secret, of course—just something that's maybe a little scandalous or risqué. It doesn't even have to be anything bad!
    • The other side of this is that Cancerians tend to be really emotionally sensitive and intuitive. This makes them great confidantes, so they're used to people confiding in them.
    • When you confess a secret (even if it's a relatively harmless secret), you're really telling a Cancer that you feel safe with them—and that will help them feel more safe with you.
  4. Family and friends are typically super important to a Cancer. Asking about them and showing that you're interested in knowing about them is a great way to show that crab that you're interested in getting to know them better.
    • If a Cancer introduces you to a friend or family member, consider it the highest compliment!
    • If you get a chance to talk to a Cancer's friends or family members, don't hesitate to mention how you feel about them. You can be sure anyone who's close to a Cancer will pass along the word.
  5. The key here is to be vulnerable —tell stories that reveal a piece of yourself that you wouldn't reveal to just anyone. A Cancer often finds it really attractive that you trust them enough to be vulnerable with them.
    • Bonus points if you say "this is something I've never told anyone before"—just make sure it's true. If it's a story everyone in town knows, you're going to have some explaining to do.
  6. Cancerians tend to have a nurturing, motherly vibe, so that whole "domestic bliss" thing is their cup of tea. Talking up your culinary skills or your latest DIY design project is a sure-fire way to stir the typical crab's interest.
    • A word of caution, though—don't say anything just to impress them if you don't have the skills to back it up. A crab just wants you to be yourself above all else.
  7. Like other water signs, a Cancer tends to be deeply emotional. Those emotions often make a Cancer pretty nostalgic and sentimental, so a cute love note is such a great way to flirt with them.
    • For example, you might write the classic "Do you like me? Check yes or no" on a napkin and pass it to them secretly.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 238 wikiHow readers what small gift they, as Cancers, would be happiest to receive from someone they’re dating, and 48% of them said a sweet note. [Take Poll] Cancers are sentimental, so a kind, handwritten note outlining everything that you love about them will totally make their day.
  8. Cancer is a deeply intuitive sign, which means your typical Cancer can smell a player a mile away. The second they sense they're being preyed upon, that shell snaps shut—so focus on making an authentic connection and leave the games at home in the board game cabinet.
    • Above all, be careful about leading on a Cancer—or making it seem like you might be leading them on. Their emotional sensitivity can sometimes cause them to read too much into things.
    • When in doubt, check in with them to make sure you're both on the same page. They'll appreciate your candor if you tell them your intentions directly.
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Section 2 of 5:

Understanding Cancer Women

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  1. Not all Cancer women are necessarily moody—it's just that they feel emotions so intensely that changes seem dramatic. If you're interested in a Cancerian woman, it's important to know that, more often than not, these mood shifts have nothing to do with you. [1]
    • Show her support by accepting her feelings for what they are. If you question, judge, or condemn her for feeling the way she does, she's liable to retreat into her shell.
    • Remember that even though a particular emotion might seem intense, it's not likely to last for very long. Just support her in the moment and give her the time and space she needs to ride it out.
  2. Some people believe that Cancer women are psychic because they're just so sensitive and so good at reading other people's emotions. If you're not a very self-reflective person, it's possible that a Cancer woman would understand how you feel even better than you do. [2]
    • This can be really disconcerting for some people, especially if they feel as though they have something to hide from her.
    • As much as a Cancerian loves secrets, a Cancer woman also loves prying them out of you—especially if she senses that you're intentionally trying to deceive her.
  3. For the typical Cancer woman, connecting with people is a serious business. They put their heart and soul into it and expect others to do the same. If she finds out that someone is just using her or playing her, they're likely to find out just how cold she can be.
    • For example, if a Cancer woman starts dating someone and gets the feeling that they're playing her, she'll likely just ghost them without a second thought and move on with her life.
    • Cancerian women typically love spending their time nurturing and caring for others. If you're playing games with her, you're taking away from that time—and she won't be happy about it.
  4. This means when it comes to sulking, she's an all-time pro—and she'll likely resent you if you walk right by her as she's sulking without asking her what's wrong. When she tells you, validate her feelings and offer your support.
    • For example, if she's upset about something, you might say "You sound like this really upset you. I'm sorry that you're hurt."
    • The worst thing you can do is tell her that you think she's taking something too hard, or too personally. She feels very intensely, and has likely been told things like this her whole life—don't add to that pile.
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Section 3 of 5:

Seducing a Cancer

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  1. The typical Cancer absolutely craves feeling understood and heard. Bring up something they mentioned in passing a few weeks ago or ask after a friend they mentioned yesterday and they'll swoon.
    • When you're paying attention to these little things and bringing them up on your own without prompting, it tells a Cancer that you're actually genuinely interested in them as a person.
    • When a Cancer feels seen and understood, they're way more likely to be romantically or sexually interested in you.
    • It would be pretty rare for you to become intimately involved with a Cancer without making an emotional connection with them first. The typical Cancer just doesn't do casual sex.
  2. Cancerians have a reputation for being homebodies, and they do tend to appreciate these quiet nights more than getting loud and rowdy. Pay close attention to all the details to ensure that they feel safe, secure, and cared for.
    • For example, you might have their favorite snacks and drinks available to show not only that you pay attention to what they like but also that you want to look after them and make them happy.
  3. The idea of a sexy secret is often really erotic to a crab. They also tend to enjoy sharp contrasts—hard and soft, rough and gentle. Put these two triggers together and you'll have them eating out of your hand.
    • For example, you might wear lacy lingerie or silk boxers under a hoodie and jeans.
  4. Crabs are huge advocates of lots of foreplay and setting the scene for a deeply sensual and romantic experience. For a Cancer, sex will always be emotional, so if you want to seduce a Cancer, think in terms of raw sensuality.
    • Even though Cancers often seem kind of quiet and unassuming, they can be real adventurers in bed.
    • Cancers also tend to enjoy playing with extremes—going from rough one minute to gentle the next, for example.
    • Remember that because sex is such an emotional experience for a Cancer, aftercare is always a must.
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Section 4 of 5:

Cancer Compatibility

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  1. Because Cancer and the other water signs ( Pisces , Scorpio ) share an element, they understand each other on an intuitive level. They're also all very intuitive signs, which makes this understanding even deeper and more intense.
    • Because the understand each other and have similar values, they tend to make really strong, long-lived connections.
    • This doesn't mean they always love each other, though—that intensity goes both ways. Two water signs that clash might very well become lifetime enemies or rivals.
  2. Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn ) provide a solid, stable foundation that helps Cancer feel safe and secure. And Cancers love the fact that Earth signs tend to be homebodies too—bring on the cozy blankets and the crackling fire! [3]
    • Taurus and Cancer, in particular, can share a really intense bond that inspires and enriches both of their lives.
  3. When it comes to fire signs ( Aries , Leo , Sagittarius ), they might be too boisterous and outgoing to make it long-term with a Cancer—but these signs also tend to be drawn to each other like moths to a flame. And also like moths and flames, their attraction is often relatively short-lived.
    • This isn't to say that Cancerians can't have fulfilling relationships with fire signs, but they have to be willing and able to work through some pretty fundamental differences first.
  4. Air signs ( Gemini , Libra, Aquarius ) tend to be all about logic, rationality, and reason—Cancer, on the other hand, is all about emotion. They also tend to be extroverted and social, while Cancerians tend to be introverted homebodies. The biggest problems here often are just that they don't have a lot in common that they can build on.
    • While it's totally possible for a Cancer to get along just fine (even smashingly!) with an air sign, the reality is that they don't seem to cross paths very often.
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Section 5 of 5:

Cancer Fast Facts

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  1. Cancer is often considered the mother of the zodiac. Like their symbol, the crab, Cancers hide a soft, sensitive inner self behind a hard exterior shell that can be pretty tough to crack. But once they let you in, you'll find someone who's loyal, kind, and supportive—if not a little moody at times. [4]
    • Symbol: crab
    • Dates: June 22—July 21
    • Ruling planet: the Moon
    • Element: water
    • Modality: cardinal
    • Keywords: gentle, nurturing, motherly, emotional, intuitive, protective, thoughtful
    • Famous Cancers: Margot Robbie, Michael Phelps, Lana Del Ray, Ariana Grande, Mike Tyson, Malala Yousafzai, Ernest Hemingway, Selena Gomez

Learn How to Date a Cancer with this Expert Series

Cancers are a complex mix of loyalty, romance, and dynamism. It can take patience to attract a Cancer, but it's absolutely worth it. This expert series will help you date the Cancer of your dreams.
1
How to Meet and Date a Cancer Sign
2
Flirting with a Cancer: The Keys to Cracking the Crab
3
Cancer Compatibility: What Zodiac Sign Is Most Compatible with Cancer?
4
Deal with a Moody Cancer Man
5
Cancer Woman: Her Dominant Personality Traits & Characteristics
6
11 Ways to Make a Cancer Woman Jealous

Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    What should I do to avoid making my first date conversation feel like an interview?
    Maria Avgitidis
    Matchmaker & Dating Expert
    Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist.
    Maria Avgitidis
    Matchmaker & Dating Expert
    Expert Answer
    The purpose of the first date is to go on a second date. It is not to determine if you are going to marry this person. It is to determine if you are having fun, and the best way to do that is to let the conversation happen organically. Remember that it is a conversation on a date and not an interview. So ask questions about their lifestyle or values. For example, you can ask, What are you doing this weekend? What did you do last summer?
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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    Not Helpful 5 Helpful 4
  • Question
    How can I know whether I am getting the correct response while flirting?
    Maria Avgitidis
    Matchmaker & Dating Expert
    Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist.
    Maria Avgitidis
    Matchmaker & Dating Expert
    Expert Answer
    Observe the body language of the person with whom you are flirting. If they only keep nodding and do not add to the conversation or move back, it means you are not saying the right things and getting the correct response from them.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
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  • Question
    How can I make my first date more enjoyable?
    Maria Avgitidis
    Matchmaker & Dating Expert
    Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist.
    Maria Avgitidis
    Matchmaker & Dating Expert
    Expert Answer
    To make your date more enjoyable, show up on time, do not pretend, and be yourself. Do not get distracted by your phone. Look at the good qualities of the other person. Give attention to the nice things you like about them instead of those that you do not.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://cafeastrology.com/articles/cancerwomanlove.html
      2. ↑ https://www.astrology.com/cancer-woman.html
      3. ↑ https://www.horoscope.com/zodiac-signs/cancer/love
      4. ↑ https://cafeastrology.com/zodiaccancer.html

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      Cancers are usually emotional and like their independence, so if you want to flirt with one, you'll need to make the first move. Start up a conversation with them, since they may be reluctant to do so due to their emotional vulnerability. When you're chatting with them, gently brush their arm or shoulder, since cancers love physical affection. Give them compliments, like commenting on something unique about their appearance, but make sure they're genuine since cancers can quickly tell if someone is being fake. Cancers are also loyal to their friends, so you’ll want to spend time getting to know their friends as well. That way, their friends will have good things to say about you if they ask them for their advice about your relationship. When you feel ready to ask them out, give them a few options for your date and leave them time to decide. Cancers like to feel independent, so taking this approach will help them feel comfortable about your upcoming date. For tips on how to ask a cancer about their family, keep reading!

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