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I've been told I'm bad at kissing. Help?

07/08/24 10:00 AM

I've only kissed a handful of girls and some of them have actually told me I'm a bad kisser. I feel like this is holding me back from getting more physical. And I'm getting really in my head about it. Any advice on how to improve?

Eddy Baller

07/08/24 12:13 PM

A lot of people are bad at kissing when they start out, and that's okay. To get better at kissing, practice! Practice makes perfect. A basic rule for good kissing: match your partner. Whatever their movements are, mirror them, like yin and yang, the way they fit together nicely. You don't want to be doing anything that is physically uncomfortable or anything where you're not locked together in a comfortable way.

If it's uncomfortable or awkward, that's not good. Look at it like puzzle pieces. You want to fit together like a puzzle, so it's comfortable and there’s a lock; you just fit together. It should feel good. Fitting together is the basic rule for kissing well. Bad kisses will usually involve bumping into each other or your lips not locking together, just doing their own things. Try to avoid that.

WikiEmuSeeker571

07/08/24 6:55 PM

what if i'm good at kissing but i think my kisses are bad bc my gf is bad at kissing but i dont wanna tell her bc i dont wanna hurt her feelings?

Imad Jbara

07/08/24 9:29 PM

I think you should at least be a little patient. I kiss some people and I think, "Damn, you were so perfect and then you gave me this awful kiss!"

When you tell them, do it in a way where you're not hurting their feelings. What I do is I use my dating coach status to teach them, when I can get away with it. Before I tell people how they can improve their kissing, I say, "I'm a dating coach. We have very different ways of kissing and we definitely need to get on the same board." For those of you who aren't dating coaches, you can still ask them, "How do you kiss?"

And then you can make a joke and you could put your mouth on their mouth and then you can make noises like, "Oh, you don't like that? Not slobbery? Alright, cool." You can teach them by making jokes, being all cute and cuddly and all that stuff. Granted, this is not a first kiss thing. This is something you might do when you've kissed a couple of times and now you want to confront the situation and feel more comfortable. First date, first kiss, just suck it up. That's it. Don't question it. It's a first kiss, get over it. But a second and third kiss, when you're getting more serious, that's when it's time to make an effort to get on the same page as the other person. Just do it in a jokey way so it doesn't hurt their feelings.

WikiZebraTamer375

07/10/24 1:41 PM

Have the people who have told you you're a bad kisser said anything about why they think you're a bad kisser? I think there are a lot of different reasons why someone could be a bad kisser. Too much tongue. Being stiff. Being limp. Using too much force. Clashing their teeth against yours. Having bad breath. Biting someone's lip if they're not into it. Sucking their mouth really hard. Making weird noises.

Next time you're close enough to someone where you can talk openly, ask them to give you honest feedback about how you can improve your kissing. Communication is key when it comes to how to kiss because every partner has a different opinion and likes different things.

WikiMistWhisperer229

07/11/24 10:17 PM

Please don't just stick your tongue in someone's mouth and swish it around in circles!! I felt like I was kissing a washing machine.

What do other wikiHow readers have to say?

Other wikiHow readers have submitted their own tips on topics similar to this one.

Reader Tips from How to Deal With a Bad Kisser

Anonymous wikiHamster

A good way to open the door to communication is to ask them if there's anything YOU can do better or anything they'd like you to try. You might learn something and they may very well follow with asking you the same question. Even if they don't, people are usually a little more receptive when you're not coming across as superior. Say, "I love it when you do this... but I'm not sure how I feel about..."

Anonymous wikiCat

Playfully giving your partner an exaggerated version of his/her style of kiss may help him/her to realize what it is he/she is doing wrong, and provides a reason for both of you to laugh. This can work out to be an intimate moment, pleasant memory and a means of easing the tension of learning your likes/dislikes.

Anonymous wikiOstrich

Be proactive. Don't wait for months or years to address the kissing problem. The longer you wait, the harder it will be for you to bring it up and the harder it will be for your partner to change his or her ways.

Reader Tips from How to Practice Kissing

Anonymous wikiDog

If practicing on your hand, smell it when finished. If it smells unpleasant, you will want to be conscious of your breath. Try brushing more frequently, using breath mints, flossing, and drinking more water.

Anonymous wikiPony

Replicate your kissing partner's movements. If you get bored, try something different.

Anonymous wikiParrot

If you accidentally bump noses or make a similar "mistake" during your first kiss, just laugh it off. It's okay if your kiss isn't perfect--it only matters that you and your partner enjoy it. You'll likely see the little mistakes as endearing and smile about them.

Reader Tips from How to Improve Your Kissing