Q&A for How to Cope With a Heartbreak

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What can I do if I feel like I just can't get over it?

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Relationship Therapist
Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

Relationship Therapist

Expert Answer

It's okay to be sad. If it's taking you some time to process what you're going through, that's totally fine. Just try to take care of yourself physically, make an effort to see friends even if you don't want to, and do things you enjoy.

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Question

What can I do if I feel like I was the reason we broke up?

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Relationship Therapist
Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

Relationship Therapist

Expert Answer

If you feel guilty about something, try giving back to your community. The more positive value you can inject into the world, the better you're going to feel.

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Question

How long does it take to heal from a broken heart?

Amy Chan
Relationship Coach
Amy Chan is a Relationship Coach based in New York, New York. She is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing after the end of a relationship. She has over 12 years of experience helping clients work on their relationships with strategies rooted in the psychology and science of relationships and personal development. Her team of psychologists and coaches at Renew Breakup Bootcamp has helped hundreds of individuals in just 7 years of operation, and the Bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book based on her work, Breakup Bootcamp, was published in 2020 and was featured by the New York Times.

Amy Chan

Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

Research shows that the feelings of pain of a romantic rejection usually fade away over the course of about six months to two years. People who have an anxious attachment style often take breakups harder than those with a secure or avoidant attachment style, however.

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Question

How do I get over my heartbreak when I'm best friends with the girl who broke my heart?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

This is complicated. When your girlfriend is also your best friend, then you have two losses to mourn. You have to step back from both parts of the relationship if you are to heal. In time, you might be able to re-establish the friendship part, but don't expect that to happen right away.

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Question

Is blocking my partner after breaking up going to help me to heal from my heartbreak?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

Yes, having a total break from any contact is like drawing a line in the sand. And trying to have contact right after a breakup is like rubbing sand into a wound. Your energy can be freed up by blocking contact, although it will take a little time.

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