Q&A for How to Deal With Transphobia

When you feel that you are in no danger of being thrown out and being on your own. If your family is not accepting, wait until you don't depend on them financially anymore.

Tell her the internet and your friend only confirmed and gave a name to something you already knew about yourself. Keep in mind that it may just take some time for your mum to wrap her head around this. She probably thinks it's a phase, but eventually she'll realize your serious. If it feels like your arguments/conversations about this are going nowhere, just try to avoid talking about it for the time being.

Unfortunately, the only thing you can do is wait until they become more supportive. It will be difficult, but it will be even more difficult if you do tell them and get disowned. Your safety comes first. What you can do in the meantime is find support among other people you trust. If things end badly with your family, you will still have these people's support.

It's not going to be easy for them. From time to time you will still get called "he" or "she" when the opposite is appropriate. The best thing to do is be patient and correct them if they're wrong, everyone is learning together.

If you mean that you've transitioned from female to male, and you're going to an all boys school, you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to. That is your own personal business. If you mean that you are biologically male and want to transition to female, you should ask your parents to put you in a school that is suitable for your gender.

You can start by talking to your school counselor if you do not want to tell the bully to stop or if the bully has not stopped after you have told him/her to. Set up an appointment with the counselor, and explain to them who is bullying you and what about. If you feel uncomfortable talking to the counselor, tell a trusted teacher/staff member that you know can help. Your parents may also be able to call the school and talk to an administrator about what's going on.

Don't come out to anyone who might cause you harm. Before coming out to a transphobic person, make sure you already have people who will support you.

Try working on your behavior and mannerisms more.

Try your best to ignore them. Most people don't understand what its like to be trans and don't realize what they're saying affects you.

Perhaps opening up a dialogue with him about addressing the misconceptions about being trans would be a helpful conversation for him. Unfortunately, not everyone is willing to change their stance on something even if you present solid arguments, so ignoring him might also be an option.

Sit down with your parents, and explain that your friend has no influence on you being transgender, that this is your own personal decision, and that your friend might have helped you understand the confusing feelings. Tell them how long you've been feeling this way, exactly what it feels like, etc. Be as specific as you can.

If he cares about you, he must not be completely transphobic, so don't accuse him of anything. That could hurt. How he treats you is important. Keep treating him well.

You can't stop it. What you CAN stop is your own reaction to it. Like it or not, you are a girl. How you identify with that is up to you, but you have to accept that you are female.

Understand that you can live the way you want. You don't need to give into peer pressure or bullying. If boys at your high school are making light-hearted jokes since you're transgender, ignore them. However, if the insults get real (saying transphobic slurs, verbal abuse, or physical assault) immediately tell a teacher, counselor, or the principal at your school.

Tell the friend to stop, or correct any comments they make. You may also want to talk to one of your friends about it, if you trust them.

Well, S has good intentions. She's got the spirit. However, explain to her that there aren't any gender neutral bathrooms.

You never have to come out if you don't want to. Try to ignore their questions and comments, and keep expressing yourself however you feel comfortable. If the harassment continues, consider telling a teacher or a trusted adult.

Even if you can't avoid him, you can still hang out with him less. If you've tried to explain over and over and it's just not working, he's probably not going to change. Try to point it out to him one more time, then slowly back away from the friendship.

If you catch yourself thinking something transphobic, stop and analyze it. Really ask yourself why you're thinking that (is it because I don't understand? Did someone tell me to think this way?). Challenge those thoughts any time they come up to eventually make them go away.

Try to be there for him as much as possible. If he needs to call you and vent, listen attentively and don't interrupt. Let him tell you what he needs to feel supported by you, and keep being a great friend!

If you hear her making a comment like that, point it out and explain why it's hurtful to other people. Remind her that even though neither of you are transgender, you can still respect other people and not make fun of them.

You could try talking to his parents with him and explaining that this is potentially a very serious mental health situation. Keep the conversation calm and civil and just do your best to explain what it means to be transgender and how people can really suffer if they are not able to live as the gender they know they are. You can also encourage your boyfriend to talk to the school counselor, as they can have some good advice about stuff like this, or they may even be willing to help him talk to his parents as well. Beyond that, just support him as best you can, using the correct pronouns, name, etc. and remind him that he will not have to live like this forever.

If you feel that he is being transphobic or offensive toward you, make sure to tell your parents and contact the district, principal or school counselors. This behavior is not okay, especially for staff members. You feeling safe and comfortable at school is definitely more important than your teacher's pride.

Anybody bullying you or mocking you for being trans is ignorant and immature, and you should stand up for yourself and tell them that. You should also talk to teacher or counselor at school, and a parent, assuming your parents are accepting of you. Remember that you will not be stuck in this school surrounded by this people forever; it truly does get better.