Q&A for How to Find Your Secret Admirer

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  • Question
    What if there are no notes or messages to use as clues?
    Community Answer
    Look for body language. Maybe they're always nervous around you, or maybe they talk to you a lot. Even if you don't have notes, try to ask the suspect's friends flat-out as well.
  • Question
    My school has a bucket week where anyone in the entire school can give you a note during Valentine's week. I got a mystery note that tells me I'm cute. How do I know who it's from?
    Community Answer
    There's no way to know for sure, but ask around and see who looks at you during break then looks away - maybe that's a sign they have a crush on you.
  • Question
    Should I wait a long time to say yes to my admirer?
    Community Answer
    No, because that will make them think you are putting them off and that you maybe like someone else, or simply don't like them at all.
  • Question
    What if you think that he is one of your friends or an enemy playing a prank?
    Community Answer
    Talk to your friends about how you know the notes are fake, and make sure the person you suspect can overhear you. If it's that person, he'll realise you didn't get tricked and stop. If it's not that person, then you'll keep getting notes, so you'll know.
  • Question
    My secret admirer keeps writing me poems. Could they be from my best friend who loves poetry?
    Community Answer
    What are the themes of the poems? If a best friend is writing them, maybe that person has developed a romantic interest in you that they didn't have before. They may be afraid of ruining the friendship by revealing who they are.
  • Question
    What do I do if a friend has a secret admirer?
    Community Answer
    Be supportive and help them find out who the secret admirer is. However, don't confront the admirer if you think you know who they are. Leave that to your friend.
  • Question
    What do I do if I have no way to identify them because they changed their writing?
    Community Answer
    I would check my email, look for clues and try to crack the code or I would ask any teachers around or my friends and ask for advice and or help to find my secret admirer!
  • Question
    I gave my crush Starbucks twice anonymously through one my friends. I was wondering how to take the next steps because she doesn't know me that well. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Start speaking to her more. If you have written her notes, when speaking to her, use references from your notes. Don't just jump right on her and ask her to go out with you, because this may make her uncomfortable. Just take it slow and become good friends first.
  • Question
    What if I got a rose, but don't know who it's from?
    Community Answer
    Look around and ask others If they know who it's from. If there's a person you think might have given it to you, talk to them about it nicely. Just say, "I got the most beautiful rose! Would you know who it's from?"
  • Question
    What do I do if I got notes from my secret admirer, but I don't know who did it?
    Community Answer
    You can ask people if they can identify the handwriting.
  • Question
    What should I do if my friend and I like the same person?
    Community Answer
    This is a tough situation. Your crush might not even like either of you, but if they like your friend, don't end your friendship. This is not a good reason to stop being friends. If your crush likes you, don't tell your friend about all the great times you have with your crush. They will already be jealous of you, so don't make it worse. You might also consider making a pact where neither of you date the person, just so there aren't any issues in your friendship.
  • Question
    How do I know if a secret admirer letter is a prank?
    Community Answer
    There is a good chance that a prank will be over-the-top and seem insincere, like 'I love you, I melt when I see you.' A real one is more like, 'I think that you are really smart and hot. Maybe we could go out sometime, if you find out who I am.' Also, if people start teasing you or laughing near you, that's a sign it's a prank. So it's best not to react too excitedly or publicly, just in case someone is trying to fool you.
  • Question
    My friend is really in love with a guy in my class. She told us once she has a crush on him, but later denied it. It's clear about the way she acts around him that she likes him. What should I do to help her?
    Community Answer
    Talk privately with your friend about how she feels. You can suggest the idea of her being a secret admirer if she doesn't want to reveal her feelings to her crush yet.
  • Question
    At school, I got a secret admirer letter in my locker that reads "tell no one". What should I do?
    Community Answer
    That means your crush is really embarrassed about their feelings toward you, so they want their crush on you to be secret from everyone (so when you find who your admirer is, don't tell anyone else about it until your crush says it's okay). Make sure you read and examine every note you receive from them so you can find who your crush is. If you find out your admirer, and your friends/classmates know about the notes, you could lie and say you never found them, like they lost interest.
  • Question
    My secret admirer turns out to be a friend of mine, but I don't share the same feeings as them! I don't want to ruin our friendship by hurting their feelings! What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Talk to them in a suitable location and explain in a friendly way that you have no romantic feelings for them, but you still like them as a friend. If you're not a bully about it or a fake friend, they should accept your feelings.
  • Question
    What if the secret admirer is saying inappropriate things to me (in the notes)? I still don’t know who he is, so I don’t know how to make them stop.
    Community Answer
    Tell a trusted adult about it like a teacher, parent, etc. If it gets really bad, get law authorities involved.
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