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How can I change myself to be a better person?

Joui Turandot
Branding Consultant
Joui Turandot is a Personal and Creative Branding Consultant and the Founder of JTM Consulting, a business that specializes in public persona branding, business branding, creative leadership coaching, and speaking workshops. Joui has more than 10 years of experience as a fashion designer, filmmaker, photographer, costume designer, stylist, and personal development coach. She uses her diverse experience to guide creative leaders and entrepreneurs through a journey of self-discovery and embodied personal expression to help them grow their business and step into the next level of leadership. Joui holds a BA in Media Studies from Mills College and holds credentials in the Somatica Core Training Method by the Somatica Institute and in the Art of Circling Training by The Circling Institute.

Joui Turandot

Branding Consultant

Expert Answer

Remember that generally, no one's becoming anything new. You're just revealing who you really are! We often live afraid to share certain parts of ourselves since we're limited by our parents, our community, and our jobs defining us instead.

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Question

People tend to take advantage of my caring, helping, short-tempered and crazy nature. Should I change?

Community Answer

It sounds like the only thing you need to work on is setting boundaries with others and assertive communication to avoid being taken advantage of in the future. Look up some article on WikiHow about boundary setting and assertive communication.

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Question

What if I just want to be a better person than I am now?

Community Answer

Consider why you want to be a better person (find your motivation). Pinpoint what you want to change/be better at. When these goals are clear, make a plan for how you will accomplish them. Get help if needed. Follow them through with your plan, and you should see a significant difference.

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Question

I have low self confidence. I feel unfit and I know I'm underweight, and I've thought about changing, but it doesn't feel possible. Who should I be? How?

Community Answer

Sometimes taking a step back and looking at the things you really like about yourself and the things you have done may be the best thing when trying to change yourself. To boost your level of confidence to increase your chances of changing who you are for the better will take time. I would say to look into ways to help increase your overall body weight. There are several sources online to search through, including articles on this website. If you keep telling yourself things are impossible, you'll just keep believing that, even if it isn't true.

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Question

I want to change specifically for other people. How would I do that?

Community Answer

Ask yourself why you would want to change yourself for other people. Determining specifically why you want to change yourself for others can actually help you determine if you should really change yourself for others. Seeing your overall case, that may imply that you care for others. Since your main "drive", or the reason for your desires, mainly relies on others, use that as your motivation. Also ask yourself what is keeping you from being the person others want you to be, then use your strengths to help you substitute for your weaknesses.

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Question

What if I want to be more exciting and crazy like I am at home, unlike at school?

Community Answer

Find a group of friends who you are comfortable to be yourself around, and show them the real you.

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Question

Whenever I say anything positive to someone, they take it negatively. Do they hate me?

Community Answer

Not necessarily. Some people are just negative all the time, and if that's the case, it's not a reflection of their feelings about you. If this is someone you're close to, like a friend or family member, try having a talk with them about how this makes you feel. They might not even realize they're doing it.

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Question

How do I make myself a new person if I have low self confidence?

Community Answer

Work on breaking down that concept into smaller workable pieces. Maybe try a new fashion choice, or maybe exercise a little bit each day. Or engage with new people.

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