This girl keeps flirting with my crush. Help!
So I have a crush on this guy in my class, let's call him Bob. We're really close and I've heard from legit everyone (his best friend, his sister, and many other friends who all heard from him) that he likes me back so I'm pretty sure he does.
Basically everyone knows we like each other. We're both not allowed to date yet though so it's not like it's gonna go anywhere yet.
My friend, let's call her Mary, who is part of our friend group, knows that we like each other too. However, every time she talks to Bob it's like "OMG, I hAtE yOu So MuCh..." and things like that (very flirty), and it annoys me so much.
Many other girls in my class who have had boyfriends before have felt threatened by her too. I kindly told Mary about it, saying that I didn't really like how she talked to Bob and that she had a sort of flirty way of talking to guys.
She got angry and responded, "Would you want me to not talk to him then?" And as I'm not an unreasonable person, I said, "Of course not. I'm just asking you to be more conscious of how you talk to him." And then she literally told him that I said that if we dated then he wouldn't be able to talk to her anymore. I couldn't really say anything else, however, because Bob and I aren't actually dating.
So, was confronting her the right thing to do and what should I do now?
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Basically everyone knows we like each other. We're both not allowed to date yet though so it's not like it's gonna go anywhere yet.
My friend, let's call her Mary, who is part of our friend group, knows that we like each other too. However, every time she talks to Bob it's like "OMG, I hAtE yOu So MuCh..." and things like that (very flirty), and it annoys me so much.
Many other girls in my class who have had boyfriends before have felt threatened by her too. I kindly told Mary about it, saying that I didn't really like how she talked to Bob and that she had a sort of flirty way of talking to guys.
She got angry and responded, "Would you want me to not talk to him then?" And as I'm not an unreasonable person, I said, "Of course not. I'm just asking you to be more conscious of how you talk to him." And then she literally told him that I said that if we dated then he wouldn't be able to talk to her anymore. I couldn't really say anything else, however, because Bob and I aren't actually dating.
So, was confronting her the right thing to do and what should I do now?
Expert Comments
If your friend is flirting with your crush, then it's absolutely the right choice to talk to her about it. If it's still happening, be really clear about how her flirting makes you feel, and use "I" statements like, "I feel hurt when you use a flirty tone with him because you know I like him." You can even ask her why she's flirting and see if she likes your crush to understand why it's happening.
Explain to her that you really like the guy and be open about your feelings. If she's a good friend, she'll be open to the discussion and may back off a little bit. If she still doesn't change or continues to tell your crush things that are untrue to sabotage your chances, then it might be best to take a step back from the friendship for a little while.
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Explain to her that you really like the guy and be open about your feelings. If she's a good friend, she'll be open to the discussion and may back off a little bit. If she still doesn't change or continues to tell your crush things that are untrue to sabotage your chances, then it might be best to take a step back from the friendship for a little while.
How you respond to your friend liking your crush depends on how deep of a connection you and your friend have. Either you can talk it out or decide to let your crush choose, but don’t let their choice destroy the friendship.
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So true, I would say talk to your guy about if he like her or not and if he doesn't tell her to stop flirting with him
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