Yikes! Apparently my relationship is toxic

12/29/24 8:11am

Okay I had my doubts about my relationship but I didn't realize it was TOXIC 😭 Did anyone else get toxic too? Or something else?

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This discussion is for readers who took the Is My Relationship Toxic Quiz .

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Wendy Lynne
Life and Relationship Coach

04/30/25 5:23pm

I always say—we call relationships "toxic" because we're blaming the other person for how we feel. Know that you have the power within yourself to actually shift and change a relationship.

Most marriage counseling is about trying to get the other person to change so you feel comfortable or safe. But I always say, "You have the power if you take the power." How you communicate with someone affects how they communicate back. It's like tennis: most people try to get the other person to hit the ball how they want, but how you hit affects how they hit back. Successful relationships involve taking on personal responsibility.

Of course, if someone is abusive or mean, leave the relationship. But you shouldn’t leave just because the other person isn't acting the way you think they should. If you got "toxic" on this quiz, think — is my partner abusive or bad, or am I trying to change them when instead I could be working on myself?

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Reader Comments

Anonymous WikiDugong

01/08/25 4:16am

We aren’t exactly in a relationship but He’s my neighbour when he’s not at his most time house. And he is friends with my family but always just ghosts me if I say anything other than hi or text him too much. I don’t know what to do because I always go back to him. How should I deal with this?

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Anonymous WikiRiver

02/14/25 9:44pm

My Boyfriend ignores me too 😞. I feel like we should break up because I don't really like him anymore, but it is my first relationship so I would feel bad...

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