Talk to the messenger Ask the person who informed you why they chose to do so (in order to make sure they have your best interests in mind) and let them know how you’d like them to respond in the future. Examples: “Why are you telling me about this?” “What did you say when you heard Mr. Herring say that about me?” “Next time you hear him gossiping about me, please ask him to come talk to me directly.” Seek advice from trusted coworkers Ask your coworkers if they think your supervisor has any motives for talking bad about you and what they would do in your shoes. Examples: “Why do you think she would say that about me?” “How do you think I should address this situation?” Be direct and professional Ask your supervisor in a kind, gentle voice about why they said things about you behind your back. Examples: “I’ve been made aware that you have been saying things about me behind my back. If I’m not meeting your expectations, I’d like for you to talk to me directly.” “I’d like for us to have a working, professional relationship. So if there’s something that I’m doing that you disagree with, please come talk to me so we can find a resolution.” Talk to HR If you feel that talking to your boss directly will be ineffective or cause more friction, talk to someone in the human resources department or someone higher-up. Examples: “I’ve gotten word that Rebecca has been talking about me behind my back to other coworkers and higher-ups. It’s affecting my relationships with coworkers and my ability to do my best work. Can you talk to her about this?” “I don’t feel comfortable talking directly to Peter about this, would you be willing to meet with the two of us to mediate the situation and reestablish healthy communication?” Do nothing Sometimes gossipers will stop if they don’t get a reaction out of you. So, instead, do not acknowledge the rumors and carry on with kindness and respect. Examples: * Give your supervisor a compliment * Help them accomplish a task * Smile and be cordial