1. Don’t use long or complicated sentences. Remember that your audience is listening to you speak, not reading what you have written. While it’s tempting to use eloquent words and phrases for important occasion, such as a graduation speech in front of the whole school, you don’t want audience members to have a hard time following you. Original How to fix it Improved “At this very moment, we are poised to begin the next chapter of our lives, in which we will learn new things, meet different people, and embark on amazing adventures—however, let’s not forget where we all started: as nervous and uncertain freshmen on our first day of high school.” This very long phrase can be broken up into several shorter sentences. * Replace colons and dashes with periods. * Eliminate filler words and expressions such as “at this very moment” and “in which.” “We’re about to experience life after high school. Some of us will learn new things. Some will make new friends. I’m sure that everyone will embark on amazing new adventures. But let’s remember where we started. Four years ago, we entered high school together as nervous and uncertain freshmen.” 2. Don’t speak about your personal experience. As class president, you are both a representative and a member of the student body. It’s important to connect with your audience from the start, and include them in everything you mention. The memories or experiences you speak about should be relatable to everyone. Original How to fix it Improved “I remember when I auditioned for lead singer in ‘South Pacific’. I was so sure that I’d get the part, so I was pretty disappointed when I just got a background role. But in the end, it was worth it since I got to experience all the excitement of a musical theater production.” Relate this memory to the student body as a whole. * Replace “I” with “we.” * Mention well-known clubs and institutions within the school. * When talking about a specific memory, it’s better to be more general than too specific. “Remember when we put on ‘South Pacific’ last year? It seemed like the whole school was involved. The drama club, the visual arts department, and the newspaper team all pitched in. Without everyone’s support, we wouldn’t have been able to do it. Instead, we all got to experience the excitement of a musical theater production.” 3. Don’t jump around to different topics or themes. Make sure your speech focuses on one overarching topic, and that all the examples you give relate to your initial theme. Otherwise, you risk giving a disjointed, unsatisfying speech and losing the attention of your audience. Original How to fix it Improved “Class of 2018, this is the time to reflect on our many accomplishments. It’s also important to note that the future is more uncertain than ever. We should always remember to help those less fortunate than us and to foster within ourselves a spirit of community service and involvement.” Focus on one overarching theme, and then provide relatable examples. * State your topic near the beginning, and reference it throughout your speech. * Mention specific class qualities or achievements. * If you want to speak about several different topics, find a way to relate them back to your main theme. “Class of 2018, this is the time to reflect on our many accomplishments. Some people say that the future is a scary place, but I know that the budding scientists and sociologists in the Class of 2018 are ready to tackle the world’s most pressing problems. Others worry about the most vulnerable members of our community, so it’s a good thing our class completed over 2,000 hours of community service!”