Explain the issue and your feelings in a respectful, honest way. “You know I love your mom. She really cares about you and she’s always willing to help out when we need it. But it really gets on my nerves when she tries to do everything for me, especially things like taking care of the kids.” “Your mom is a really caring person, and I know she always has your best interest at heart. I don’t know if she’s just trying to protect you, but it feels like she doesn’t trust me. She’s always questioning my decisions and my past, and it’s really hard for me.” Empathize with their position. “I know how close you are with your mom, and I don’t want that to stop.” “I get that me and your mom disagreeing puts you in a really awkward position. I’m not trying to pit you against her, or vice versa.” Create boundaries together. “Can we work together to put up some boundaries that’ll work for her and us? I would appreciate it if she left some of the parenting aspects to the two of us, like making rules and discipline.” “I think if we set up some ground rules and talked to her about them, I’d feel a lot more comfortable with this situation. I’d like her to call first before she comes over, for instance. Maybe as a compromise, we could have her over for dinner once a week.” Agree to be on each other’s side, even when it’s hard. “I know it’s not easy to disagree with your parents, but we’re a team. I’ll always have your back, and I want to know that you have mine, too.” “We’re a team. Even if this gets awkward or difficult, I’m always here to support you. I know you’re here for me, too.” Ask them if they’d be willing to talk with their mother about the issue. “I’d really appreciate it if you talked to her about this. I think she needs to hear it from you, not me.” “I’ve been thinking about it, and I think it’s best if you’re the one who talks to her about backing off a little. If it was both of us or just me, I think she’d feel attacked, but she’ll listen to you on your own.”