“Just calm down.” Nobody likes to be told they are upset to begin with, and saying this is a form of shutting him down or invalidating his emotions. “Stop acting like a little girl / You’re being ridiculous.” Not only is this emasculating, it gives him the message that he shouldn’t be in touch with his emotions due to gender roles. “Why can’t you be more like ____ (his sibling, his parent, a friend)?” Comparing him to someone who may or may not be better at handling their feelings will make him feel inadequate. “We need to talk about this right now.” When someone’s upset, don’t force them to share right away. Some people require time to reflect and process their emotions. Let him set the timeline. “Don’t be so sensitive.” This implies that he is overreacting and invalidates his emotions. “You shouldn’t feel that way.” Telling him what he is or is not allowed to feel will only make him pull away from you and not share his feelings in the future. “I’m more upset than you are about this.” Turning conflict into a competition is not helpful and will probably create an unnecessary argument. “I think you’re wrong.” There are no “right” or “wrong” emotions. This lacks compassion and invalidates his feelings. “You have to do this.” Don’t give unsolicited advice; it implies that you’re uncomfortable with his emotions or agency and he’ll be less likely to open up to you in the future. “I’m too busy / This is your problem / I don’t care.” Not only does this make you look cold and unloving, it has the potential to make him feel abandoned.