Speak assertively, but respectfully. “I’ve noticed that you’ve been getting angry and frustrated with me more quickly these days. That anger and my reaction to it are creating a really tense atmosphere between us. I really want us to get along, so is it OK if we talk about it?” “It really hurts when you snap at me like that, and I don’t think your intention is actually to make me feel bad. Is something going on that you want to talk about?” Ask if there’s anything they want to get out in the open. “I don’t want to assume anything, but I think this tension is coming from somewhere else. Is there anything you want to get off your chest?” “I know that sometimes when I get angry, it’s because there’s something going on or I’m feeling something that I feel like I can’t share with anyone else. So if that’s what’s happening with you, I want you to know you can tell me anything right now.” Recognize and validate the feelings beneath their anger. “I think that when you’re under this kind of pressure at school, you get stressed and it comes out as anger. Do you think I’m on the right track?” “What I hear you saying is that you’re not happy with your family but don’t want to confront them about it, so what’s probably happening is that you’re taking it out on people that you know won’t leave you. Is that about right? I’m really sorry you’re going through that.” Be as patient and compassionate as possible. “I know you’re a great person and you don’t want to hurt anyone else. I want you to know that I’m here for you and I’ll support you, even if you get frustrated with me, too.” “It’s OK if you’re not ready to talk about everything right now. Do you want to take your time to think about it? I can leave you alone for a while, and you can call me when you’re ready to talk again.” Stay calm if they get angry. “I know it’s hard to hear these things, but I think it’s really important. You can yell at me, but I’m going to wait until you calm down to say anything back.” “I want you to know that I’m not attacking you or trying to blame you. This is something that we can work on together.”